Author: Patricia Evans
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Release Date: 2003-02-01
Learn how to 'break the spell' of control with Patricia Evans' new bestseller. Already hailed by Oprah Winfrey, Controlling People deals with issues big and small - revealing the thought processes of those who seek to control in order to provide a 'spell-breaking' mind-set for those who suffer this insidious manipulation. Invaluable insight and advice for those who seek support.
Author: Neil Lavender
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Release Date: 2012-11-01
Everyone knows someone who is impossible to please, critical, judgmental, picky, and stubbornly closed-minded. These are symptoms of a disorder called obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD), but it’s common for people to have subclinical levels of some or all of these qualities. Most of the time, it’s best to avoid the difficult to please person, but what happens when he or she is a close family member, coworker, or even a spouse? It’s still possible to maintain a positive relationship with the right tools. Impossible to Please, written by the authors of Toxic Coworkers, is a manual for dealing with these difficult people without sitting through stressful arguments, vicious insults and attacks, and passive-aggressive behavior. It empowers readers to take charge of the relationship and regain their dignity and confidence in interactions with these individuals. This book features specific strategies that are immediately effective when conversing with critical people and explains how readers can respond to unfair blame without becoming angry or overly defensive. By setting boundaries, improving communication, and asserting themselves, readers learn to deal with the impossible to please in romantic relationships, friendships, family, and work relationships.
In this groundbreaking bestseller, Lundy Bancroft—a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men—uses his knowledge about how abusers think to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued in a relationship, and to find ways to get free of abuse. He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You’ve asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men—and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn about: • The early warning signs of abuse • The nature of abusive thinking • Myths about abusers • Ten abusive personality types • The role of drugs and alcohol • What you can fix, and what you can’t • And how to get out of an abusive relationship safely “This is without a doubt the most informative and useful book yet written on the subject of abusive men. Women who are armed with the insights found in these pages will be on the road to recovering control of their lives.”—Jay G. Silverman, Ph.D., Director, Violence Prevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health From the Trade Paperback edition.
Do you sometimes feel as if you are living your life to please others? Do you give other people the benefit of the doubt but second-guess yourself? Do you struggle with perfectionism, anxiety, lack of confidence, emotional emptiness, or eating disorders? In your intimate relationships, have you found it difficult to get close without losing your sense of self? If so, you may be among the fifteen million adults in the United States who were raised with unhealthy parental control. In this groundbreaking bestseller by accomplished family therapist Dan Neuharth, Ph.D., you'll discover whether your parents controlled eating, appearance, speech, decisions, feelings, social life, and other aspects of your childhood—and whether that control may underlie problems you still struggle with in adulthood. Packed with inspiring case studies and dozens of practical suggestions, this book shows you how to leave home emotionally so you can improve assertiveness, boundaries, and confidence, quiet you "inner critics," and bring more balance to your moods and relationships. Offering compassion, not blame, Dr. Neuharth helps you make peace with your past and avoid overcontrolling your children and other loved ones.
For many of us, perfectionism can bring life's most desired rewards. But when the obsessive need for perfection and control gets in the way of our professional and emotional lives, the cost becomes too high. Although many of us appear cool and confident on the outside, inside we are in emotional turmoil, trying to satisfy everyone, attempting to direct the future, and feeling that we are failing. In TOO PERFECT, Dr. Allan Mallinger draws on twenty years of research and observations from his private practice to show how perfectionism can sap energy, complicate even the simplest decisions, and take the enjoyment out of life. For workaholics or neat freaks, for anyone who fears change or making mistakes, needs rigid rules, is excessively frugal or obstinate, TOO PERFECT offers revealing self-tests, fascinating case histories, and practical strategies to help us overcome obsessiveness and reclaim our right to happiness. From the Trade Paperback edition.
Author: Stan Kapuchinski
Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.
Release Date: 2007-06-15
Genre: Family & Relationships
It’s Not You . . . It’s THEM! Have you ever hung up with your boss and felt like you were nine years old again? Do you get a pang in the pit of your stomach when you see a certain “friend’s” number on your caller ID? Do you find yourself frequently apologizing to a family member even though you know you’ve done nothing wrong? If any of these scenarios sound familiar or you have ever felt bullied, manipulated, guilted, or threatened in a relationship, you could have a PDI! PDI, or Personality Disordered Individual, is a psychiatric term used to identify those people with whom we must interact and who can make us feel miserable in the process. PDIs make “toxic” people look like Santa Clause and often have unique attitude problems and behaviors that we must deal with but do not enrich, improve, enhance, boost, encourage, motivate, or inspire us. Day in and day out, they make us miserable! Stan Kapuchinski, M.D., has encountered numerous PDIs and their victims in his private psychiatry practice for more than twenty-five years. In Say Goodbye to Your PDI, he sheds light on five types of personality disorders and teaches: • How PDIs ensnare us into repeatedly dealing with them • How to spot a PDI at work and in our personal lives • Coping mechanisms to handle PDIs who we cannot eliminate from our lives • Techniques and advice on how to get rid of a PDI for good Say Goodbye to Your PDI will help you stop your misery and will help you deal more effectively with the users, the manipulators, the smooth talkers, and the guilt-trippers out there. Stan Kapuchinski, M.D. , writes the widely read column “Ask Dr. K.” A board-certified psychiatrist, Dr. Kapuchinski has served as assistant processor of psychiatry at the University of Connecticut and special psychiatric consultant in Queensland, Australia. His expertise on human relationships has made him a sought-after commentator for hundreds of television and radio outlets.
The average person has 70,000 thoughts every day, and many of those thoughts trigger a corresponding emotion. No wonder so many of us often feel like we're controlled by our emotions. Our lives would be much improved if we controlled them. In LIVING BEYOND YOUR FEELINGS, Joyce Meyer examines the gamut of feelings that human beings experience. She discusses the way that the brain processes and stores memories and thoughts, and then - emotion by emotion - she explains how we can manage our reactions to those emotions. By doing that, she gives the reader a toolbox for managing the way we react to the onslaught of feelings that can wreak havoc on our lives. In this book, Meyer blends the wisdom of the Bible with the latest psychological research and discusses: the 4 personality types and their influence on one's outlook, the impact of stress on physical and emotional health, the power of memories, the influence of words on emotions, anger & resentment, sadness, loss & grief, fear, guilt & regret, the power of replacing reactions with pro-actions, and the benefits of happiness.
When you are showered with attention, it can feel incredibly romantic and can blind you to hints of problems ahead. But what happens when attentiveness becomes domination? In some relationships, the desire to control leads to jealousy, threats, micromanaging--even physical violence. If you or someone you care about are trapped in a web of coercive control, this book provides answers, hope, and a way out. Lisa Aronson Fontes draws on both professional expertise and personal experience to help you: *Recognize controlling behaviors of all kinds. *Understand why this destructive pattern occurs. *Determine whether you are in danger and if your partner can change. *Protect yourself and your kids. *Find the support and resources you need. *Take action to improve or end your relationship. *Regain your freedom and independence.
The Ultimate Guide to Mastering Your Mental Strength Everyone knows that regular exercise and weight training lead to physical strength. But how do we strengthen ourselves mentally for the truly tough times? And what should we do when we face these challenges? Or as psychotherapist Amy Morin asks, what should we avoid when we encounter adversity? Through her years counseling others and her own experiences navigating personal loss, Morin realized it is often the habits we cannot break that are holding us back from true success and happiness. Indulging in self-pity, agonizing over things beyond our control, obsessing over past events, resenting the achievements of others, or expecting immediate positive results holds us back. This list of things mentally strong people don't do resonated so much with readers that when it was picked up by Forbes.com it received ten million views. Now, for the first time, Morin expands upon the thirteen things from her viral post and shares her tried-and-true practices for increasing mental strength. Morin writes with searing honesty, incorporating anecdotes from her work as a college psychology instructor and psychotherapist as well as personal stories about how she bolstered her own mental strength when tragedy threatened to consume her. Increasing your mental strength can change your entire attitude. It takes practice and hard work, but with Morin's specific tips, exercises, and troubleshooting advice, it is possible to not only fortify your mental muscle but also drastically improve the quality of your life.
Author: Patricia Evans
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Release Date: 2011-11-18
Genre: Family & Relationships
"You're too sensitive." "You'll never amount to anything." "You're crazy." If this is what you hear--from your spouse, your parent, your boss--then you've been the victim of verbal abuse. This insidious behavior permeates our culture--from the privacy of our own homes to the public glare of our schools, workplaces, and other institutions. But you don't have to live with it. In this groundbreaking companion to her bestselling The Verbally Abusive Relationship, acclaimed public speaker, educator and author Patricia Evans brings you the tools you need to triumph over verbal abuse, no matter where or how you encounter it. She'll guide you step by step through a powerful healing process that provides: A thorough review of available therapies Strategies for dealing with abusers Positive messages of support and encouragement Inspiring affirmations for every week of the year With Patricia's help, you'll achieve the clarity you need to build a new life--far from senseless accusations, wounding words, and confusing comments that have taken an untold toll on your psyche. You'll find validation, and learn to believe in yourself--and a better future--once more.
In the post 911 world, people are more susceptible than ever to charismatic figures who offer simple, black v. white, us v. them, good v. evil, formulaic solutions. The rise of the Internet; increasingly sophisticated knowledge about how to influence and manipulate others; and the growing vulnerabilities of people across the planet-make for a dangerous, potentially devastating combination. Steven Hassan's new book Freedom of Mind provides the knowledge and awareness needed to help yourself and loved ones avoid or escape from such dangerous people and situations. This must-read volume is a significantly updated and revised edition of Hassan's groundbreaking Releasing the Bonds (2000). People who read and benefitted from that book-and also his earlier book, Combatting Cult Mind Control (1989)-will want to read Hassan's latest. It provides an up-to-the-minute guide to the reality of 'undue influence'-the preferred term for mind control-in the post 9/11 era. Unstable Global Environment Enhances Dangers of Unethical Control The world has changed greatly in the last decade. The rise of the Internet, the emergence of global terrorism and of dangerous totalistic ideologies, and the shifts in global markets-these and other changes have created new opportunities for unscrupulous individuals, groups, and institutions to exert unethical control over others. Freedom of Mind exposes the techniques and methods that individuals, cults, and institutions of all types-religious, business, therapeutic, educational, governmental-use to undo a person's capacity to think and act independently. Individuals More Vulnerable than Ever The Internet is now the primary vehicle for recruitment and indoctrination. It is also a means for spreading sophisticated information about social psychology, hypnosis, and other techniques of social control, which are being used-in ways both effective and dangerous-by 'influence professionals.' Meanwhile, people are becoming increasingly vulnerable. Sleep-deprived, overweight and looking to improve themselves, overloaded with often frightening images and information; anxious about the current economic decline, climate change, and government corruption on all levels. People are more susceptible than ever to charismatic figures who offer simple, black v. white, us v. them, good v. evil, formulaic solutions. These factors-the rise of the Internet; increasingly sophisticated knowledge about how to influence and manipulate others; and the growing vulnerabilities of people across the planet-make for a dangerous, potentially devastating combination. Freedom of Mind Provides Help for Yourself, a Loved One, or a Friend Hassan's new book, Freedom of Mind, aims to fill the gap. It identifies and explains how to identify and evaluate potentially dangerous groups and individuals. Hassan details his groundbreaking approach, the 'Strategic Interactive Approach, ' which can be used to help a loved one leave such a situation. Step-by-step, Hassan shows you how to: evaluate the situation; interact with dual identities; develop communication strategies using phone calls, letter writing and visits; understand and utilize cult beliefs and tactics; use reality-testing and other techniques to promote freedom of mind. He emphasizes the value of meeting with trained consultants to be effectively guided and coached and also to plan and implement effective interventions. The best way to protect yourself and your loved ones is knowledge and awareness.
Author: Gill Hasson
Publisher: John Wiley & Sons
Release Date: 2014-10-29
Genre: Business & Economics
DON’T LET PROBLEM PEOPLE GET TO YOU! Whether it’s a manager who keeps moving the goal posts, an uncooperative colleague, negative friend, or critical family member, some people are just plain hard to get along with. Often, your immediate response is to shrink or sulk, become defensive or attack. But there are smarter moves to make when dealing with difficult people. This book explains how to cope with a range of situations with difficult people and to focus on what you can change. This book will help you to: Understand what makes difficult people tick and how best to handle them Learn ways to confidently stand up to others and resist the urge to attack back Develop strategies to calmly navigate emotionally-charged situations Deal with all kinds of difficult people – hostile, manipulative and the impossible Know when to choose your battles, and when to walk away Why let someone else’s bad attitude ruin your day? How to Deal With Difficult People arms you with all the tools and tactics you need to handle all kinds of people – to make your life less stressful and a great deal easier.
Author: Richard S. Marken
Release Date: 2015-12-22
"We need to strive for a world where people control what is important to themselves while minimizing the controlling of others."We are all controlling people. In fact our feelings of wellbeing depend on staying in control. Just as when we drive a car, we must stay in control in everyday life in order to keep the things we care about going in the right direction. Yet this natural controlling behavior is sometimes the very reason we end up losing control. This happens when we try to control other people as well as when we try to control ourselves. So how do we do better? Based on Perceptual Control Theory (PCT), this entertaining and enlightening book by psychologists Richard S. Marken and Timothy A. Carey explores the paradox of why we often lose control by trying to be in control and why our controlling nature makes it difficult to stop this self-defeating behavior. They show that understanding PCT opens the window to understanding and learning about ourselves as controlling people and equips us to lead more effective and satisfying lives.
Author: Dr. Ron Welch
Release Date: 2014-06-10
Genre: Family & Relationships
"I can't live this way anymore." "I've given up trying to change him." "I can't ever be good enough." "He won't listen to me anyway." As a clinical psychologist, Dr. Ron Welch has heard many women in controlling marriages pour out their hearts. They feel trapped, helpless, stuck in a situation with no solution and no way out. In this candid book, Welch offers real hope. He shows women how controlling husbands develop, why wives allow themselves to be controlled, and strategies to help both husband and wife change. Welch struggled as a controlling husband for years but found help and healing in his relationship with his wife. He uses that experience, as well as examples from the lives of the couples he's worked with, to show women that just because "he's always been this way" doesn't mean their marriage must be that way forever. He teaches women valuable practical skills for coping with the challenges they face and transforming the power and control issues in their marriages. For wives of controlling husbands, along with the friends and family members who love and are concerned about them, this is an essential resource. Counselors will also find it helpful as they work with hurting couples.