Hold On to Your Kids

Author: Gordon Neufeld
Publisher: Vintage Canada
ISBN: 9780307375490
Release Date: 2011-11-30
Genre: Family & Relationships

A psychologist with a reputation for penetrating to the heart of complex parenting issues joins forces with a physician and bestselling author to tackle one of the most disturbing and misunderstood trends of our time -- peers replacing parents in the lives of our children. Dr. Neufeld has dubbed this phenomenon peer orientation, which refers to the tendency of children and youth to look to their peers for direction: for a sense of right and wrong, for values, identity and codes of behaviour. But peer orientation undermines family cohesion, poisons the school atmosphere, and fosters an aggressively hostile and sexualized youth culture. It provides a powerful explanation for schoolyard bullying and youth violence; its effects are painfully evident in the context of teenage gangs and criminal activity, in tragedies such as in Littleton, Colorado; Tabor, Alberta and Victoria, B.C. It is an escalating trend that has never been adequately described or contested until Hold On to Your Kids. Once understood, it becomes self-evident -- as do the solutions. Hold On to Your Kids will restore parenting to its natural intuitive basis and the parent-child relationship to its rightful preeminence. The concepts, principles and practical advice contained in Hold On to Your Kids will empower parents to satisfy their children’s inborn need to find direction by turning towards a source of authority, contact and warmth. Something has changed. One can sense it, one can feel it, just not find the words for it. Children are not quite the same as we remember being. They seem less likely to take their cues from adults, less inclined to please those in charge, less afraid of getting into trouble. Parenting, too, seems to have changed. Our parents seemed more confident, more certain of themselves and had more impact on us, for better or for worse. For many, parenting does not feel natural. Adults through the ages have complained about children being less respectful of their elders and more difficult to manage than preceding generations, but could it be that this time it is for real? -- from Hold On to Your Kids From the Hardcover edition.

Hold On to Your Kids

Author: Gordon Neufeld
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 030748596X
Release Date: 2008-11-19
Genre: Family & Relationships

International authority on child development Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D., joins forces with bestselling author Gabor Maté, M.D., to tackle one of the most disturbing trends of our time: Children today looking to their peers for direction—their values, identity, and codes of behavior. This “peer orientation” undermines family cohesion, interferes with healthy development, and fosters a hostile and sexualized youth culture. Children end up becoming overly conformist, desensitized, and alienated, and being “cool” matters more to them than anything else. Hold On to Your Kids explains the causes of this crucial breakdown of parental influence—and demonstrates ways to “reattach” to sons and daughters, establish the proper hierarchy in the home, make kids feel safe and understood, and earn back your children’s loyalty and love. This updated edition also specifically addresses the unprecedented parenting challenges posed by the rise of digital devices and social media. By helping to reawaken instincts innate to us all, Neufeld and Maté will empower parents to be what nature intended: a true source of contact, security, and warmth for their children. From the Trade Paperback edition.

Hold on to Your Kids

Author: Gordon Neufeld
Publisher: Vintage Canada
ISBN: 9780676974720
Release Date: 2005
Genre: Parenting

A psychologist with a reputation for penetrating to the heart of complex parenting issues joins forces with a physician and bestselling author to tackle one of the most disturbing and misunderstood trends of our time -- peers replacing parents in the lives of our children. Dr. Neufeld has dubbed this phenomenon peer orientation, which refers to the tendency of children and youth to look to their peers for direction: for a sense of right and wrong, for values, identity and codes of behaviour. But peer orientation undermines family cohesion, poisons the school atmosphere, and fosters an aggressively hostile and sexualized youth culture. It provides a powerful explanation for schoolyard bullying and youth violence; its effects are painfully evident in the context of teenage gangs and criminal activity, in tragedies such as in Littleton, Colorado; Tabor, Alberta and Victoria, B.C. It is an escalating trend that has never been adequately described or contested until Hold On to Your Kids. Once understood, it becomes self-evident -- as do the solutions. Hold On to Your Kids will restore parenting to its natural intuitive basis and the parent-child relationship to its rightful preeminence. The concepts, principles and practical advice contained in Hold On to Your Kids will empower parents to satisfy their children's inborn need to find direction by turning towards a source of authority, contact and warmth. Something has changed. One can sense it, one can feel it, just not find the words for it. Children are not quite the same as we remember being. They seem less likely to take their cues from adults, less inclined to please those in charge, less afraid of getting into trouble. Parenting, too, seems to have changed. Our parents seemed more confident, more certain of themselves and had more impact on us, for better or for worse. For many, parenting does not feel natural. Adults through the ages have complained about children being less respectful of their elders and more difficult to manage than preceding generations, but could it be that this time it is for real? -- from Hold On to Your Kids From the Hardcover edition.

Scattered

Author: Gabor Mate
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101153857
Release Date: 2000-08-01
Genre: Psychology

In this breakthrough guide to understanding, treating, and healing Attention Deficit Disorder, Dr. Gabor Maté, an adult with ADD and the father of three ADD children, shared the latest information on: · The external factors that trigger ADD · How to create an environment that promotes health and healing · Ritalin and other drugs · ADD adults …and much more Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) has quickly become a controversial topic in recent years. Whereas other books on the subject describe the condition as inherited, Dr. Maté believes that our social and emotional environments play a key role in both the cause of and cure for this condition. In Scattered, he describes the painful realities of ADD and its effect on children as well as on career and social paths in adults. While acknowledging that genetics may indeed play a part in predisposing a person toward ADD, Dr. Maté moves beyond that to focus on the things we can control: changes in environment, family dynamics, and parenting choices. He draws heavily on his own experience with the disorder, as both an ADD sufferer and the parent of three diagnosed children. Providing a thorough overview of ADD and its treatments, Scattered is essential and life-changing reading for the millions of ADD sufferers in North America today. From the Trade Paperback edition.

In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts

Author: Gabor Mate, M.D.
Publisher: North Atlantic Books
ISBN: 9781583944202
Release Date: 2011-06-28
Genre: Self-Help

Based on Gabor Maté’s two decades of experience as a medical doctor and his groundbreaking work with the severely addicted on Vancouver’s skid row, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts radically reenvisions this much misunderstood field by taking a holistic approach. Dr. Maté presents addiction not as a discrete phenomenon confined to an unfortunate or weak-willed few, but as a continuum that runs throughout (and perhaps underpins) our society; not a medical "condition" distinct from the lives it affects, rather the result of a complex interplay among personal history, emotional, and neurological development, brain chemistry, and the drugs (and behaviors) of addiction. Simplifying a wide array of brain and addiction research findings from around the globe, the book avoids glib self-help remedies, instead promoting a thorough and compassionate self-understanding as the first key to healing and wellness. In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts argues persuasively against contemporary health, social, and criminal justice policies toward addiction and those impacted by it. The mix of personal stories—including the author’s candid discussion of his own "high-status" addictive tendencies—and science with positive solutions makes the book equally useful for lay readers and professionals. From the Trade Paperback edition.

When the Body Says No

Author: Gabor Mate
Publisher: John Wiley & Sons
ISBN: 9780470923351
Release Date: 2011-01-05
Genre: Health & Fitness

1 The Bermuda Triangle 2 The Little Girl Too Good to Be True 3 Stress and Emotional Competence 4 Buried Alive 5 Never Good Enough 6 You Are Part of This Too, Mom 7 Stress, Hormones, Repression and Cancer 8 Something Good Comes Out of This Is There a "Cancer Personality"? 10 The 55 Per Cent Solution 11 It's All in Her Head 12 I Shall Die First from the Top 13 Self or Non-Self: The Immune System Confused 14 A Fine Balance: The Biology of Relationships 15 The Biology of Loss 16 The Dance of Generations 17 The Biology of Belief 18 The Power of Negative Thinking 19 The Seven A's of Healing Notes Resources Acknowledgments Index

Teenagers

Author: David Bainbridge
Publisher: Greystone Books
ISBN: 9781926685410
Release Date: 2009-07-01
Genre: Family & Relationships

Teenagers reimagines the way people think about adolescents. No longer society's scourge and scapegoat, the teenager emerges from David Bainbridge's fascinating study as an awe-inspiring natural phenomenon that evokes reverence and wonder. Bainbridge, a veterinarian and anatomist, suggests that the second decade is the most important in the human lifecycle. In lively prose, he explains the science behind the changes that occur both on the surface of the teenage body and deep within the teenage brain, from lanky limbs and bad skin to falling in love, sleeping till noon, and the irresistible allure of sex, drugs, and rock‘n’roll. Observed through a scientific lens, these bizarre biological transformations and behavioral anomalies snap into focus, as not only a beautifully choreographed sequence of steps on the path to adulthood, but also as a key evolutionary factor in the success of the species.

The Collapse of Parenting

Author: Leonard Sax
Publisher: Basic Books
ISBN: 9780465073849
Release Date: 2015-12-29
Genre: Psychology

In The Collapse of Parenting, physician, psychologist, and internationally acclaimed author Leonard Sax presents data documenting a dramatic decline in the achievement and psychological health of American children. Sax argues that rising levels of obesity, depression, and anxiety among young people—as well as the explosion in prescribing psychiatric medications to kids—can all be traced to parents letting their kids call the shots. Many parents are afraid of seeming too dictatorial and end up abdicating their authority rather than taking a stand with their own children. If kids refuse to eat anything green and demand pizza instead, some parents give in, inadvertently raising children who are more likely to become obese. If children are given smartphones and allowed to spend the bulk of their free time texting, playing video games, and surfing the Internet, they become increasingly reliant on peers and the media for guidance on how to live, rather than getting such guidance at home. And if they won't sit still in class or listen to adults, they're often prescribed medication, a quick fix that actually undermines their self-control. In short, Sax argues, parents are failing to prioritize the parent-child relationship and are allowing a child-peer dynamic to take precedence. The result is children who have no absolute standard of right and wrong, who lack discipline, and who look to their peers and the Internet for direction, instead of looking to their parents. But there is hope. Sax shows how parents can help their kids by reasserting their authority—by limiting time with screens, by encouraging better habits at the dinner table and at bedtime, and by teaching humility and perspective. Drawing on more than twenty-five years of experience as a family physician and psychologist, along with hundreds of interviews with children, parents, and teachers across the United States and around the world, Sax offers a blueprint parents can use to refresh and renew their relationships with their children to help their children thrive in an increasingly complicated world.

Rest Play Grow

Author: Deborah MacNamara Phd
Publisher:
ISBN: 0995051208
Release Date: 2016-03-23
Genre:

Based on the work of one of the world's foremost child development experts, Gordon Neufeld, Rest, Play, Grow offers a developmental road map to adults and is what every toddler, preschooler, and kindergartner wished their adults understood about them. Gabor Mate calls it "an essential primer on how to be a parent."

Parenting Without Power Struggles

Author: Susan Stiffelman
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 9781849839204
Release Date: 2012-03-15
Genre: Family & Relationships

Every parent knows the unrelenting fervour of a four-year-old's tantrum, an eight-year-old's insistence on talking back, or a moody pre-teen's newfound hobby of brooding in anger. And every parent has asked the simple question: how can I avoid meltdowns and create more peace at home? While most parenting strategies are designed to coerce your kids to change, Parenting Without Power Struggles does something innovative, and focuses on where parents actually have real control: within themselves. When parents learn to keep their cool and parent from a strong and durable connection, they become able to help their children navigate the challenging moments of growing up. Family therapist Susan Stiffelman has shown thousands of parents how to be the confident 'captain of the ship' in their children's lives. Based on her successful practice and packed with real-life stories, Susan shares proven strategies and clear insights to motivate kids to cooperate and connect, making Parenting Without PowerStruggles an extraordinary guidebook for transforming your day-to-day parenting life.

Attached at the Heart

Author: Barbara Nicholson
Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.
ISBN: 9780757317453
Release Date: 2013-08-06
Genre: Family & Relationships

"Trust me. This is the only baby book you'll ever need! It's amazing, heartwarming, and completely user-friendly. Just add your heart!" --Christiane Northrup, MD, author of Mother-Daughter Wisdom, The Wisdom of Menopause, and Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom Attached at the Heart offers readers practical parenting advice for the modern age. In its most basic form, "attachment parenting" is instinctive. A crying baby is comforted and kept close to parents for protection. If hungry, he or she is breastfed. And while it is understood that there is no such thing as perfect parenting, research suggests that there is a strong correlation between a heightened sense of respect, empathy, and affection in those children raised the "attachment parenting" way. In this controversial book, readers will gain much needed insight into childrearing while learning to trust the intuitive knowledge of their child, ultimately building a strong foundation that will strengthen the parent-child bond. Using the Eight Principles of Parenting, readers will learn: How to prepare for baby before birth Why breastfeeding is a must for busy moms When to start feeding solid food How to respond to temper tantrums Sleeping safety guidelines and the benefits of cosleeping Tips for short separation How to practice positive discipline and its rewards Tips for finding and maintaining balance The benefits of using a baby sling and implementing infant massage Tips on dealing with criticism from those opposed or unfamiliar with AP style The dangers surrounding traditional discipline styles of parenting Contrary to popular belief, "attachment parenting" has been practiced in one form or another since recorded history. Over the years, it had been slowly replaced by a more detached parenting style—a style that is now believed by experts to be a lead contributing factor to suicide, depression, and violence. The concept of "attachment parenting"—a term originally coined by parenting experts William and Martha Sears—has increasingly been validated by research in many fields of study, such as child development, psychology, and neuroscience. Also known as "conscious parenting," "natural parenting," "compassionate parenting," or "empathic parenting," its goal is to stimulate optimal child development. While many attachment-parenting recommendations likely counter popular societal beliefs, authors Barbara Nicholson and Lysa Parker are quick to point out that the benefits outweigh the backlash of criticism that advocates of detached parenting may impose.

Connected Parenting

Author: Jennifer Kolari
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 9781101057087
Release Date: 2009-05-14
Genre: Family & Relationships

Read Jennifer Kolari's posts on the Penguin Blog. A groundbreaking, counterintuitive parenting approach to create deep, empathic bonds with challenging children A child and family therapist for more than twenty years, Jennifer Kolari began her career working with children who suffer from severe behavioral problems. That experience taught her an invaluable lesson: It wasn't "tough" discipline that helped these kids change their behavior and build self-esteem. It was unending compassion and empathy. Now Kolari applies these lessons in her work with all families, teaching them how to take a non-defensive stance through even the most heated moments. Filled with heartfelt advice, Connected Parenting helps parents: •set limits and change problem behaviors for good •lower the child's anxiety level •stop the endless battles over homework, routines, food, and more •learn how to keep cool in any situation Powerful and inspiring, Connected Parenting includes incredible stories from families who have experienced miraculous transformations- often in just a few weeks-using Kolari's parenting approach. It is a dynamic blueprint for bringing peace and loving connections into any family for life.

The Nurture Assumption

Author: Judith Rich Harris
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 9781439101650
Release Date: 2009-02-24
Genre: Family & Relationships

A NEW YORK TIMES NOTABLE BOOK How much credit do parents deserve when their children turn out welt? How much blame when they turn out badly? Judith Rich Harris has a message that will change parents' lives: The "nurture assumption" -- the belief that what makes children turn out the way they do, aside from their genes, is the way their parents bring them up -- is nothing more than a cultural myth. This electrifying book explodes some of our unquestioned beliefs about children and parents and gives us a radically new view of childhood. Harris looks with a fresh eye at the real lives of real children to show that it is what they experience outside the home, in the company of their peers, that matters most, Parents don't socialize children; children socialize children. With eloquence and humor, Judith Harris explains why parents have little power to determine the sort of people their children will become. The Nurture Assumption is an important and entertaining work that brings together insights from psychology, sociology, anthropology, primatology, and evolutionary biology to offer a startling new view of who we are and how we got that way.

The Shelter of Each Other

Author: Mary Pipher, PhD
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 9781101665893
Release Date: 2008-11-25
Genre: Social Science

“Simple solutions for survival in this family-unfriendly culture…Eye-opening…heart-wrenching and uplifting.”—San Francisco Chronicle Even more resonant today than at its original publication in 1996, The Shelter of Each Other traces the effects of our society’s “anti-family” way of life, where parents are overtaxed, children are undersupervised, and technology is rapidly dictating how we interact. As she did in her number-one bestseller Reviving Ophelia, Mary Pipher illuminates how our families are suffering at the hands of shifting cultural norms, and she snaps our gaze into crisp focus. Drawing on the fascinating stories of families rich and poor, angry and despairing, religious and skeptical, and probing deep into her own family memories and experiences, Pipher clears a path to the strength and energy at the core of family life. Compassionate and heart-wrenching, The Shelter of Each Other is an impassioned call for us to gather our families in our arms and hold on to them for dear life. From the Trade Paperback edition.

How to Behave So Your Children Will Too

Author: Sal Severe
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0141001933
Release Date: 2003
Genre: Family & Relationships

Provides advice that teaches parents how to be consistent in disciplining children, manage anger, prevent arguments, and ways to reinforce good behavior instead of criticizing the child.