Hold On to Your Kids

Author: Gordon Neufeld
Publisher: Vintage Canada
ISBN: 9780307375490
Release Date: 2011-11-30
Genre: Family & Relationships

A psychologist with a reputation for penetrating to the heart of complex parenting issues joins forces with a physician and bestselling author to tackle one of the most disturbing and misunderstood trends of our time -- peers replacing parents in the lives of our children. Dr. Neufeld has dubbed this phenomenon peer orientation, which refers to the tendency of children and youth to look to their peers for direction: for a sense of right and wrong, for values, identity and codes of behaviour. But peer orientation undermines family cohesion, poisons the school atmosphere, and fosters an aggressively hostile and sexualized youth culture. It provides a powerful explanation for schoolyard bullying and youth violence; its effects are painfully evident in the context of teenage gangs and criminal activity, in tragedies such as in Littleton, Colorado; Tabor, Alberta and Victoria, B.C. It is an escalating trend that has never been adequately described or contested until Hold On to Your Kids. Once understood, it becomes self-evident -- as do the solutions. Hold On to Your Kids will restore parenting to its natural intuitive basis and the parent-child relationship to its rightful preeminence. The concepts, principles and practical advice contained in Hold On to Your Kids will empower parents to satisfy their children’s inborn need to find direction by turning towards a source of authority, contact and warmth. Something has changed. One can sense it, one can feel it, just not find the words for it. Children are not quite the same as we remember being. They seem less likely to take their cues from adults, less inclined to please those in charge, less afraid of getting into trouble. Parenting, too, seems to have changed. Our parents seemed more confident, more certain of themselves and had more impact on us, for better or for worse. For many, parenting does not feel natural. Adults through the ages have complained about children being less respectful of their elders and more difficult to manage than preceding generations, but could it be that this time it is for real? -- from Hold On to Your Kids From the Hardcover edition.

Hold On to Your Kids

Author: Gordon Neufeld
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 030748596X
Release Date: 2008-11-19
Genre: Family & Relationships

International authority on child development Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D., joins forces with bestselling author Gabor Maté, M.D., to tackle one of the most disturbing trends of our time: Children today looking to their peers for direction—their values, identity, and codes of behavior. This “peer orientation” undermines family cohesion, interferes with healthy development, and fosters a hostile and sexualized youth culture. Children end up becoming overly conformist, desensitized, and alienated, and being “cool” matters more to them than anything else. Hold On to Your Kids explains the causes of this crucial breakdown of parental influence—and demonstrates ways to “reattach” to sons and daughters, establish the proper hierarchy in the home, make kids feel safe and understood, and earn back your children’s loyalty and love. This updated edition also specifically addresses the unprecedented parenting challenges posed by the rise of digital devices and social media. By helping to reawaken instincts innate to us all, Neufeld and Maté will empower parents to be what nature intended: a true source of contact, security, and warmth for their children. From the Trade Paperback edition.

Hold on to Your Kids

Author: Gordon Neufeld
Publisher: Vintage Canada
ISBN: 9780676974720
Release Date: 2005
Genre: Parenting

A psychologist with a reputation for penetrating to the heart of complex parenting issues joins forces with a physician and bestselling author to tackle one of the most disturbing and misunderstood trends of our time -- peers replacing parents in the lives of our children. Dr. Neufeld has dubbed this phenomenon peer orientation, which refers to the tendency of children and youth to look to their peers for direction: for a sense of right and wrong, for values, identity and codes of behaviour. But peer orientation undermines family cohesion, poisons the school atmosphere, and fosters an aggressively hostile and sexualized youth culture. It provides a powerful explanation for schoolyard bullying and youth violence; its effects are painfully evident in the context of teenage gangs and criminal activity, in tragedies such as in Littleton, Colorado; Tabor, Alberta and Victoria, B.C. It is an escalating trend that has never been adequately described or contested until Hold On to Your Kids. Once understood, it becomes self-evident -- as do the solutions. Hold On to Your Kids will restore parenting to its natural intuitive basis and the parent-child relationship to its rightful preeminence. The concepts, principles and practical advice contained in Hold On to Your Kids will empower parents to satisfy their children's inborn need to find direction by turning towards a source of authority, contact and warmth. Something has changed. One can sense it, one can feel it, just not find the words for it. Children are not quite the same as we remember being. They seem less likely to take their cues from adults, less inclined to please those in charge, less afraid of getting into trouble. Parenting, too, seems to have changed. Our parents seemed more confident, more certain of themselves and had more impact on us, for better or for worse. For many, parenting does not feel natural. Adults through the ages have complained about children being less respectful of their elders and more difficult to manage than preceding generations, but could it be that this time it is for real? -- from Hold On to Your Kids From the Hardcover edition.

When the Body Says No

Author: Gabor Mate
Publisher: John Wiley & Sons
ISBN: 9780470923351
Release Date: 2011-01-05
Genre: Health & Fitness

1 The Bermuda Triangle 2 The Little Girl Too Good to Be True 3 Stress and Emotional Competence 4 Buried Alive 5 Never Good Enough 6 You Are Part of This Too, Mom 7 Stress, Hormones, Repression and Cancer 8 Something Good Comes Out of This Is There a "Cancer Personality"? 10 The 55 Per Cent Solution 11 It's All in Her Head 12 I Shall Die First from the Top 13 Self or Non-Self: The Immune System Confused 14 A Fine Balance: The Biology of Relationships 15 The Biology of Loss 16 The Dance of Generations 17 The Biology of Belief 18 The Power of Negative Thinking 19 The Seven A's of Healing Notes Resources Acknowledgments Index

Scattered

Author: Gabor Mate
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101153857
Release Date: 2000-08-01
Genre: Psychology

In this breakthrough guide to understanding, treating, and healing Attention Deficit Disorder, Dr. Gabor Maté, an adult with ADD and the father of three ADD children, shared the latest information on: · The external factors that trigger ADD · How to create an environment that promotes health and healing · Ritalin and other drugs · ADD adults …and much more Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) has quickly become a controversial topic in recent years. Whereas other books on the subject describe the condition as inherited, Dr. Maté believes that our social and emotional environments play a key role in both the cause of and cure for this condition. In Scattered, he describes the painful realities of ADD and its effect on children as well as on career and social paths in adults. While acknowledging that genetics may indeed play a part in predisposing a person toward ADD, Dr. Maté moves beyond that to focus on the things we can control: changes in environment, family dynamics, and parenting choices. He draws heavily on his own experience with the disorder, as both an ADD sufferer and the parent of three diagnosed children. Providing a thorough overview of ADD and its treatments, Scattered is essential and life-changing reading for the millions of ADD sufferers in North America today. From the Trade Paperback edition.

Rest Play Grow

Author: Deborah MacNamara Phd
Publisher:
ISBN: 0995051208
Release Date: 2016-03-23
Genre:

Based on the work of one of the world's foremost child development experts, Gordon Neufeld, Rest, Play, Grow offers a developmental road map to adults and is what every toddler, preschooler, and kindergartner wished their adults understood about them. Gabor Mate calls it "an essential primer on how to be a parent."

Attached at the Heart

Author: Barbara Nicholson
Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.
ISBN: 9780757317453
Release Date: 2013-08-06
Genre: Family & Relationships

"Trust me. This is the only baby book you'll ever need! It's amazing, heartwarming, and completely user-friendly. Just add your heart!" --Christiane Northrup, MD, author of Mother-Daughter Wisdom, The Wisdom of Menopause, and Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom Attached at the Heart offers readers practical parenting advice for the modern age. In its most basic form, "attachment parenting" is instinctive. A crying baby is comforted and kept close to parents for protection. If hungry, he or she is breastfed. And while it is understood that there is no such thing as perfect parenting, research suggests that there is a strong correlation between a heightened sense of respect, empathy, and affection in those children raised the "attachment parenting" way. In this controversial book, readers will gain much needed insight into childrearing while learning to trust the intuitive knowledge of their child, ultimately building a strong foundation that will strengthen the parent-child bond. Using the Eight Principles of Parenting, readers will learn: How to prepare for baby before birth Why breastfeeding is a must for busy moms When to start feeding solid food How to respond to temper tantrums Sleeping safety guidelines and the benefits of cosleeping Tips for short separation How to practice positive discipline and its rewards Tips for finding and maintaining balance The benefits of using a baby sling and implementing infant massage Tips on dealing with criticism from those opposed or unfamiliar with AP style The dangers surrounding traditional discipline styles of parenting Contrary to popular belief, "attachment parenting" has been practiced in one form or another since recorded history. Over the years, it had been slowly replaced by a more detached parenting style—a style that is now believed by experts to be a lead contributing factor to suicide, depression, and violence. The concept of "attachment parenting"—a term originally coined by parenting experts William and Martha Sears—has increasingly been validated by research in many fields of study, such as child development, psychology, and neuroscience. Also known as "conscious parenting," "natural parenting," "compassionate parenting," or "empathic parenting," its goal is to stimulate optimal child development. While many attachment-parenting recommendations likely counter popular societal beliefs, authors Barbara Nicholson and Lysa Parker are quick to point out that the benefits outweigh the backlash of criticism that advocates of detached parenting may impose.

In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts

Author: Gabor Mate, M.D.
Publisher: North Atlantic Books
ISBN: 9781583944202
Release Date: 2011-06-28
Genre: Self-Help

Based on Gabor Maté’s two decades of experience as a medical doctor and his groundbreaking work with the severely addicted on Vancouver’s skid row, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts radically reenvisions this much misunderstood field by taking a holistic approach. Dr. Maté presents addiction not as a discrete phenomenon confined to an unfortunate or weak-willed few, but as a continuum that runs throughout (and perhaps underpins) our society; not a medical "condition" distinct from the lives it affects, rather the result of a complex interplay among personal history, emotional, and neurological development, brain chemistry, and the drugs (and behaviors) of addiction. Simplifying a wide array of brain and addiction research findings from around the globe, the book avoids glib self-help remedies, instead promoting a thorough and compassionate self-understanding as the first key to healing and wellness. In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts argues persuasively against contemporary health, social, and criminal justice policies toward addiction and those impacted by it. The mix of personal stories—including the author’s candid discussion of his own "high-status" addictive tendencies—and science with positive solutions makes the book equally useful for lay readers and professionals. From the Trade Paperback edition.

Why Parents Matter

Author: Nigel Barber
Publisher: Greenwood Publishing Group
ISBN: 0897897250
Release Date: 2000
Genre: Family & Relationships

Explores the relationship between parents and children and shows how critical parents are in determining which children will be happy and productive.

The Collapse of Parenting

Author: Leonard Sax
Publisher: Basic Books
ISBN: 9780465073849
Release Date: 2015-12-29
Genre: Psychology

In The Collapse of Parenting, physician, psychologist, and internationally acclaimed author Leonard Sax presents data documenting a dramatic decline in the achievement and psychological health of American children. Sax argues that rising levels of obesity, depression, and anxiety among young people—as well as the explosion in prescribing psychiatric medications to kids—can all be traced to parents letting their kids call the shots. Many parents are afraid of seeming too dictatorial and end up abdicating their authority rather than taking a stand with their own children. If kids refuse to eat anything green and demand pizza instead, some parents give in, inadvertently raising children who are more likely to become obese. If children are given smartphones and allowed to spend the bulk of their free time texting, playing video games, and surfing the Internet, they become increasingly reliant on peers and the media for guidance on how to live, rather than getting such guidance at home. And if they won't sit still in class or listen to adults, they're often prescribed medication, a quick fix that actually undermines their self-control. In short, Sax argues, parents are failing to prioritize the parent-child relationship and are allowing a child-peer dynamic to take precedence. The result is children who have no absolute standard of right and wrong, who lack discipline, and who look to their peers and the Internet for direction, instead of looking to their parents. But there is hope. Sax shows how parents can help their kids by reasserting their authority—by limiting time with screens, by encouraging better habits at the dinner table and at bedtime, and by teaching humility and perspective. Drawing on more than twenty-five years of experience as a family physician and psychologist, along with hundreds of interviews with children, parents, and teachers across the United States and around the world, Sax offers a blueprint parents can use to refresh and renew their relationships with their children to help their children thrive in an increasingly complicated world.

Heartbreak and Rage

Author: Gordon Neufeld
Publisher: Virtualbookworm Publishing
ISBN: 1589392760
Release Date: 2002-10-01
Genre: Biography & Autobiography

Mass weddings. Matching ceremonies where people meet their future spouses for the first time. Desperate flower-sellers approaching bar customers late at night. Isolated farms where young men and women are rapidly transformed into fanatical devotees of the Reverend Sun Myung Moon. All these are well-known aspects of life in the Unification Church, often called the "Moonies". In Heartbreak and Rage: Ten Years Under Sun Myung Moon, a Cult Survivor's Memoir, K. Gordon Neufeld recalls his own participation in all of these events in a powerful and engrossing, and occasionally wistful and tender, memoir. Neufeld recounts his own rise in the ranks of the Unification Church to the position of a leader-in-training at the Unification Theological Seminary, a promotion that indirectly led to his growing disillusionment. Yet even when he found himself rejected by the woman Moon had chosen for his bride, and by the church to which he had been unswervingly dedicated, he refused to give up, but carried on until there was absolutely no way to continue. At last, demonstrating great courage, Neufeld broke free from his state of mental transfixion without the aid of deprogrammers. This is an unforgettable story of persistence, devotion, love and loss.

Connected Parenting

Author: Jennifer Kolari
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 9780735233560
Release Date: 2016-07-19
Genre: Family & Relationships

When a child is acting out, parents often respond with anger. But there is a better way. Drawing on twenty years of experience as a child therapist, Jennifer Kolari explains that children act up when they feel an adult does not understand their concerns. The answer is parenting with empathy, which Kolari helps parents implement via her proven CALM technique: Connect emotionally match the Affect of the child Listen to what your child is saying Mirror their emotion back to show understanding With this simple strategy, parents can connect with their child in any situation to reduce anxiety, de-escalate tantrums instantly and increase self-esteem. Insightful and empowering, Connected Parenting is filled with step-by-step advice and examples from families that have been transformed, often within weeks. It will bring out the best in you—and your child.

Trauma Through a Child s Eyes

Author: Peter A. Levine, Ph.D.
Publisher: North Atlantic Books
ISBN: 9781556438516
Release Date: 2010-05-18
Genre: Family & Relationships

An essential guide for recognizing, preventing, and healing childhood trauma, from infancy through adolescence—what parents, educators, and health professionals can do. Trauma can result not only from catastrophic events such as abuse, violence, or loss of loved ones, but from natural disasters and everyday incidents such as auto accidents, medical procedures, divorce, or even falling off a bicycle. At the core of this book is the understanding of how trauma is imprinted on the body, brain, and spirit, resulting in anxiety, nightmares, depression, physical illnesses, addictions, hyperactivity, and aggression. Rich with case studies and hands-on activities, Trauma Through A Child’s Eyes gives insight into children’s innate ability to rebound with the appropriate support, and provides their caregivers with tools to overcome and prevent trauma. From the Trade Paperback edition.

Connection Parenting

Author: Pam Leo
Publisher: Wyatt-Mackenzie Pub
ISBN: 1932279768
Release Date: 2007
Genre: Family & Relationships

"Connection Parenting" is based on author Pam Leo's seven week parenting series, "Meeting the Needs of Children," that she has been teaching for over sixteen years. The premise is that a strong parent-child bond is the key to children's optimal human development and our most effective parenting tool. Connection Parenting is a proactive approach to parenting that supports parents and caregivers in creating and maintaining the strong bonds children need to thrive.

What Great Parents Do

Author: Erica Reischer
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 9781101992371
Release Date: 2016-08-16
Genre: Family & Relationships

A golden rule book to parenting best practices, What Great Parents Do concisely presents key strategies to help parents reshape kids' challenging behaviors, create strong family bonds, and guide children toward becoming happy, kind, responsible adults. What Great Parents Do is an everything-you-need-to-know road map for parenting that you will consult again and again. Psychologist Erica Reischer draws on research in child development and cognitive science to distill the best information about parenting today into bite-size pieces with real examples, useful tips, and tools and techniques that parents can apply right away. This book will show you how to do what great parents do so well, including: - Great parents start with empathy - Great parents accept their kids just as they are - Great parents avoid power struggles - Great parents see the goal of discipline as learning, not punishment - Great parents know they aren't perfect A toolbox of the most effective parenting strategies, What Great Parents Do is accessible, actionable, and easy to follow. From the Trade Paperback edition.