How to Archer

Author: Sterling Archer
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 9780062066329
Release Date: 2012-01-17
Genre: Fiction

Lying is like 95% of what I do. But believe me: in this book, I’ll let you know exactly how to become a master spy just like me. Obviously, you won’t be as good at it as I am, but that’s because you’re you, and I’m Sterling Archer. I know, I know, it sucks not being me. But don’t beat yourself up about it, because I’m going to show you all the good stuff—what to wear; what to drink; how to seduce women (and, when necessary, men); how to beat up men (and, when necessary, women); how to tell the difference between call girls and hookers (hint: when they’re dead, they’re just hookers) and everything about weapons, secret devices, lying ex-girlfriends, and turtlenecks. In a word? How to Archer.

How to Archer

Author: Sterling Archer
Publisher: It Books
ISBN:
Release Date: 2012-01-17
Genre:

Lying is like 95% of what I do. But believe me: in this book, I’ll let you know exactly how to become a master spy just like me. Obviously, you won’t be as good at it as I am, but that’s because you’re you, and I’m Sterling Archer. I know, I know, it sucks not being me. But don’t beat yourself up about it, because I’m going to show you all the good stuff—what to wear; what to drink; how to seduce women (and, when necessary, men); how to beat up men (and, when necessary, women); how to tell the difference between call girls and hookers (hint: when they’re dead, they’re just hookers) and everything about weapons, secret devices, lying ex-girlfriends, and turtlenecks. In a word? How to Archer. From the Back Cover Hi. I see you’re reading the back of my book. This tells me that you either: A) are hoping to find a brief summary of what to expect from a how-to book by Sterling Archer, the world’s greatest secret agent, or B) don’t know how books work. If your answer was “A,” your best bet is probably the table of contents, which is where you’ll find the “contents” of this book listed in a convenient, easy-to-read “table” format. So maybe go check that out for a minute and then come back here. I’ll wait. . . . Pretty cool, right? What other book will teach you how to dress properly and how to drive an elephant? How to field strip an AK-47 and how to haggle with a Thai prostitute—in her native tongue? How to pilot an airboat and how to make about a million delicious cocktails, including a Molotov one? How to kill a guy and how to prepare a fabulous brunch? Plus how to do tons of other stuff that I forgot, but that is nonetheless probably in this book (which, to be honest, I really only kinda skimmed). So if you want to learn more about how to be more—or at all—like Sterling Archer, the world’s greatest secret agent, quit smearing your greasy fingerprints all over this book and buy it. For one thing, I really need the royalties. For another thing, the last time I checked, this wasn’t a damn library. (Note: If your answer was “B,” this probably isn’t the book you want to start with.)

The Art of Archer

Author: Neal Holman
Publisher: Dey Street Books
ISBN: 0062484133
Release Date: 2016-12-06
Genre: Performing Arts

A fully illustrated and highly visual guide to everything Archer—from storyboards to character sketches to script excerpts—making it a collector’s item for Archer fans everywhere, and featuring a foreword by Christian Slater. The Art of Archer is a comprehensive look behind the scenes of the award-winning animated series. Featuring 240 pages of concept art, exclusive interviews, script excerpts and the never-before-released original pitch for the series, this amazing collection offers an utterly unique view of the Archer creative process. Commentary from the crew will walk fans all the way from squiggles to the gorgeous final picture, detailing not only their process but their history as well. Exclusive interviews with the Emmy-nominated cast offer insights to their beloved characters and a glimpse of their favorite moments. With storyboards, costume designs, reference photographs, immaculate background paintings and more, this is Archer as you have never seen it. The Art of Archer is a must have companion to the groundbreaking animated series, for fans and cinephiles alike.

A Practical Guide to Racism

Author: C. H. Dalton
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 9781592404308
Release Date: 2008-12-30
Genre: Humor

A whimsical and irreverent evaluation of the world's diverse populations, written pseudonymously by the fictional son of an elitist family, argues in support of supremacist belief systems while diminishing the sufferings of minority groups. Reprint.

Bro on the Go

Author: Barney Stinson
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 9781471104640
Release Date: 2012-12-11
Genre: Humor

THE BRO CODE provides men with all the rules they need to know in order to become a "bro" and behave properly among other bros. THE BRO CODE has never been published before. Few know of its existence, and the code, until now, has been verbally communicated between those in the 'bro'. Containing approximately 150 "unspoken" rules, this code of conduct ranges from the simple (bros before hos) to the complex (the hot-to-crazy ratio, complete with bar graphs and charts). With helpful sidebros THE BRO CODE will help any ordinary guy become the best bro he can be. Let ultimate bro and co-author Barney Stinson and his book, THE BRO CODE share their wisdom, lest you be caught making eye contact in a devil's three-way (two dudes, duh.) Sample Articles from THE BRO CODE: Article 1: Regardless of veracity, a Bro never admits familiarity with a Broadway show or musical. Article 53: A Bro will, whenever possible, provide his Bro with prophylactic protection.Article 57: A Bro may not speculate on the expected Bro / chick ratio of a party or venue without first disclosing the present-time observed ratio.

It s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Author: The Gang
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 9780062225122
Release Date: 2015-01-06
Genre: Humor

"The Gang" from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia attempts their most ill-conceived, get-rich quick scheme yet: publishing a “self-help book” to hilarious, sometimes dangerous, and often revolting, results. The Gang may have finally found their golden ticket. Left alone to close down Paddy’s Pub one night, Charlie Kelly inadvertently scored himself, and his friends, the opportunity of a lifetime—a book deal with a real publishing company, real advance money, and a real(ly confused) editor. While his actual ability to read and write remains unclear, Charlie sealed the deal with some off-the-cuff commentary on bird law and the nuances of killing rats (and maybe with the help of some glue fumes in the basement with an unstable editor on a bender). While The Gang is stunned by the news, and the legally binding, irrevocable contract left on the bar, they are also ready to rise to the task and become millionaires—and of course, help Charlie actually write the book. In their own inimitable voices, Charlie, Mac, Dennis, Sweet Dee, and Frank weigh in on important topics like Relationships, Financial Success and Career, Fashion and Personal Grooming, Health and Diet, and Survival Skills, providing insane advice, tips, tricks, and recipes (Rum Ham anyone?) as only they can. Fans of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia rejoice and welcome the most influential work in the history of the written word (or at least since the script for The Nightman Cometh): The 7 Secrets of Awakening the Highly Effective Four-Hour Giant, Today.

Bro Code for Parents

Author: Barney Stinson
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 9781451690644
Release Date: 2012-10-02
Genre: Humor

The newest book in the New York Times bestselling “Barney Stinson” canon teaches prospective parents everything they need to know to have a legendary kid. So you’re going to be a parent. You might be asking yourself a series of important questions: Will I be a good parent? • Will I be able to afford this? • Can I ever have sex again? Well, the answer to all these questions is a rock-solid no. But just because your existence is now a petrifying turd on the canvas of life doesn’t mean your kid has to be as lame as you’re about to become. That’s why I’ve written this book—to teach you how to be an awesomommy or legendaddy. The Bro Code for Parents will help you: Choose a baby name that won’t get your kid stuffed into a junior high locker • Interview and hire a smokin’ hot nanny • Teach your child instant classics like “The Boobs on the Bus” and “Bro, Bro, Bro Your Boat” With full-color illustrations, interactive work sheets, and even suggestions for how to turn a stroller into a broller, The Bro Code for Parents gives you all the tools you’ll need to raise your child to be almost as awesome as I am. Almost.

Let Me Off at the Top

Author: Ron Burgundy
Publisher: Crown Archetype
ISBN: 9780804139588
Release Date: 2013-11-19
Genre: Humor

Ron Burgundy is known to all as the lead anchorman of San Diego's award-winning Action 4 News Team and anchor of the first 24-hour news channel, GNN (Global News Network), but few know the real man behind the news desk. In LET ME OFF AT THE TOP! My Classy Life and Other Musings he will share never-before-told stories of his childhood and the events that led him to choose a career in the news business. He will offer a rare glimpse behind the camera into the real life of a man many consider to be our greatest living news anchor. In his own words, he will share personal anecdotes about the women in his life, about his dog, Baxter, and his legendary news team. Along the way, he'll also give sage advice on a variety of topics that matter most to him. The long wait is over. Ron Burgundy pulls no punches in this widely anticipated, fully authorized tell-all autobiography.

Like Brothers

Author: Mark Duplass
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 9781101967720
Release Date: 2018-05-08
Genre: Biography & Autobiography

The multitalented writers, directors, producers, and actors (as seen on The League, Transparent, and The Mindy Project) share the secrets of their lifelong partnership in this unique memoir. Whether producing, writing, directing, or acting, the Duplass Brothers have made their mark in the world of independent film and television on the strength of their quirky and empathetic approach to storytelling. Now, for the first time, Mark and Jay take readers on a tour of their lifelong partnership in this unique memoir told in essays that share the secrets of their success, the joys and frustrations of intimate collaboration, and the lessons they’ve learned the hard way. From a childhood spent wielding an oversized home video camera in the suburbs of New Orleans to their shared years at the University of Texas in early-nineties Austin, and from the breakthrough short they made on a three-dollar budget to the night their feature film Baghead became the center of a Sundance bidding war, Mark and Jay tell the story of a bond that’s resilient, affectionate, mutually empowering, and only mildly dysfunctional. They are brutally honest about how their closeness sabotaged their youthful romantic relationships, about the jealousy each felt when the other stole the spotlight as an actor (Mark in The League, Jay in Transparent), and about the challenges they faced on the set of their HBO series Togetherness—namely, too much togetherness. But Like Brothers is also a surprisingly practical road map to a rewarding creative partnership. Rather than split all their responsibilities fifty-fifty, the brothers learned to capitalize on each other’s strengths. They’re not afraid to call each other out, because they’re also not afraid to compromise. Most relationships aren’t—and frankly shouldn’t be—as intense as Mark and Jay’s, but their brand of trust, validation, and healthy disagreement has taken them far. Part coming-of-age memoir, part underdog story, and part insider account of succeeding in Hollywood on their own terms, Like Brothers is as openhearted and lovably offbeat as Mark and Jay themselves. “Wright. Ringling. Jonas. I’m sure you could name a bunch of famous brother teams. They’re all garbage compared to Mark and Jay. I can’t wait for you to read this book.”—from the foreword by Mindy Kaling

How to Survive a Horror Movie

Author: Seth Grahame-Smith
Publisher: Quirk Books
ISBN: 1594741794
Release Date: 2007-01
Genre: Humor

Teaches readers how to cope with every kind of horror movie obstacle, from ax-wielding psychopaths to haunted Japanese VHS tapes, and is full of illustrated instructions on avoiding ghosts, serial killers, haunted cars, murderous pets, telekinetic prom queens, and countless other hazards. Original.

The Swoly Bible

Author: Dom Mazzetti
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 9780735211124
Release Date: 2016
Genre: Humor

"For years, bros, meatheads, and gym rats around the world have posed pressing questions: What can you bench? Can I skip leg day? What goes in this protein shake? And importantly -- do you even lift, bro? At long last, answers to these questions and more can be found in one handy volume--THE SWOLY BIBLE, written by the Internet's favorite gym expert/literary genius, Dom Mazzetti."--

Complete Krav Maga

Author: Darren Levine
Publisher: Ulysses Press
ISBN: 9781612435770
Release Date: 2016-04-18
Genre: Sports & Recreation


Pawnee

Author: Leslie Knope
Publisher: Hachette Books
ISBN: 9781401304416
Release Date: 2011-11-22
Genre: Fiction

Welcome to Pawnee: More Exciting than New York, More Glamorous than Hollywood, Roughly the Same Size as Bismarck, North Dakota In Pawnee, Leslie Knope (as played by Amy Poehler on NBC's hit show Parks and Recreation) takes readers on a hilarious tour through her hometown, the Midwestern haven known as Pawnee, Indiana. The book chronicles the city's colorful citizens and hopping nightlife, and also explores some of the most hilarious events from its crazy history--like the time the whole town was on fire, its ongoing raccoon infestation, and the cult that took over in the 1970s. Packed with laugh-out-loud-funny photographs, illustrations, and commentary by the other inhabitants of Pawnee, it's a must-read that will make you enjoy every moment of your stay in the Greatest Town in America.

Making Avonlea

Author: Irene Gammel
Publisher: University of Toronto Press
ISBN: 0802084338
Release Date: 2002
Genre: Literary Criticism

Invoking theories of popular culture, film, literature, drama, and tourism, contributors probe the emotional attachment and loyalty of many generations of readers to L.M. Montgomery?s books.

The Meowmorphosis

Author: Franz Kafka
Publisher: Quirk Books
ISBN: 9781594745034
Release Date: 2011
Genre: Fiction

Gregor Samsa, a seemingly typical man, wakes up one morning to discover he has been transformed into a cat.