Author: Helen Boyd
Publisher: Seal Press
Release Date: 2007-02-15
Genre: Social Science
Helen Boyd's husband, who had long been open about being a cross-dresser, was considering living as a woman full time. Suddenly, Boyd was confronted with the reality of what it would mean if her husband were actually to become a woman — socially, legally, and medically. Would Boyd love and desire her partner the same way? Boyd's first book, My Husband Betty, explored the relationships of cross-dressing men and their partners. Now, She's Not the Man I Married is both a sequel and a more expansive examination of gender in relationships. It's for couples who are homosexual or heterosexual, and for readers who fall anywhere along the gender continuum. As Boyd struggles to understand the nature of marriage, passion, and love, she shares her confusion and anger, providing a fascinating observation of the ways in which relationships are gendered, and how we cope, or don't, with the emotional and sexual pressures that gender roles can bring to our marriages and relationships.
Author: Helen Boyd
Publisher: Seal Press
Release Date: 2003-12-23
Genre: Health & Fitness
My Husband Betty is the first book to explore the relationships of crossdressing men and their female partners. Known traditionally as transvestites, men like Helen Boyd's husband are starting to come out and win the respect of friends, family, and society - even if their behavior still baffles mental health professionals and the crossdressers themselves. Boyd explains the "taxonomy" of the transgendered, the distinct societies within the transgendered community, the effects of the closet, sexuality, and the issues faced by the wives and girlfriends of crossdressing men. Helen's own experience is at the heart of this book, her story complemented and contradicted by interviews with crossdressers, drag queens, "tranny chasers," and other transgendered couples.
A remarkable memoir that tells the story of a person who changed genders chronicles the life of James, a critically acclaimed novelist, who eventually became Jenny, a happy and successful English professor.
Theirs was the storybook marriage that inspired others. For over twenty years, and after three failed marriages, Marcy had everything she had ever dreamed of in her husband, he was passionate, romantic, spiritual, generous, funny, loving, and... he cooked. She finally had someone who would love her as much as she could love. There was just one problem... a secret that could to shatter this storybook marriage. One fateful morning, her husband came out to her - Her Scott was transgender. A woman trapped in a man's body, her man's body. Marcy felt her love, her world, her place in it, and her ideal marriage were instantly threatened. Marcy would have to scrutinize all that she held dear, examine her own identity and ultimately face her deepest fears. In her brutally honest account, Marcy leads the reader into a dark night of the soul that would last five years, while she simultaneously battled ovarian cancer, with compassion, intelligence and wit. An emotional journey where the only handrail is that Gold standard love that she had forged over decades with her Scottie. She emerges to create a stronger, deeper and more loving marriage than she ever thought possible. Just Because My Husband's a Woman - Marcy's side of the story, is triumph of the power of love that will make you cheer.
Author: Virginia Erhardt
Release Date: 2014-01-14
Genre: Family & Relationships
Candid, first-hand accounts of couples who stay together despite highly emotional gender issues. Head Over Heels gives voice to thirty ordinary women who live extraordinary lives as partners to crossdressers, transgenderists, and male-to-female transsexuals. These unique women discuss, with honesty and great candor, how they first learned of their partners’ gender issues, how they’ve coped with the emotions that followed, how they’ve dealt with concerns about privacy/secrecy, and how they’ve handled disclosure to children, friends, and family members. Far from a collection of “happily ever after” stories, these narratives are filled with pain, courage, curiosity, and joy as each woman struggles to redefine a relationship that includes intimacy, social acceptance, dignity, and respect. The women whose stories are featured in Head Over Heels didn't know their partners were gender-variant when they first met. Some found out early on; others learned of their husbands' gender variance after decades of marriage. Some were told by their husbands—men they considered “regular guys;” others found out on their own, sometimes in shocking ways. Their stories represent a wide spectrum of women's life experiences with crossdressers, transgenderists, transsexuals who are nonoperative, pre-operative, and post-operative, families without children, families with children at home, and families with children who have left home. But these women share one thing in common: each has decided to stay in her relationship, exploring her new life with an open, yet cautious, heart. Some of the voices heard in Head Over Heels: “While putting my clothes on, I found a sales receipt on the bureau from K-Mart for shoes, a bra, and stockings. My immediate thought was that my husband had a girlfriend.” “He dressed for me one night and it was the worst experience of both our lives. I was shocked and he knew it and that hurt him.” “My siblings had been aware of Trish’s transsexualism for several years when she went full-time. They have told me that while I will always be welcome in their homes, Trish is not.” “My husband may think differently, but I do have a sexual identity. Actually, I’m real clear about it—I am a woman and he is a man. I do not allow him to crossdress in the bedroom. I married a man; therefore, I will sleep with a man.” Head Over Heels also includes historical and current information about resources and support for wives of gender-variant people, and a substantive introduction that includes basic information about sexual and gender identity and related issues.
Author: Richard J. Novic M.D.
Release Date: 2005-04-01
Genre: Family & Relationships
Alice in Genderland is the first ever memoir by a crossdresser who is not content to live behind closed doorsand who takes it much further than his straighter, more circumspect peers might ever care to go. Most of the time, Harvard-educated psychiatrist Richard Novic is Rick, a man at the office or a husband and father at home. But one night a week, he is Alice, a woman about town, shopping, dining, dancing, and dating a man for nearly a decade. In contrast to the life he leads today, Rick Novic suffered since his sporty, nerdy boyhood with a secret, a desire he was in no way equipped to handle, but one that eventually burst through his denial, a few months before his wedding day. Just once, he felt, while he still could, he had to know how it felt to be a woman. Like Alice in Wonderland, his curiosity led him to fall headlong down a rabbit hole, through desperate straits, mind-opening surprises, heart-rending changes, gritty sex, and boundless love. By the time he was back on his feet, he was a different person, living a lifestyle he hadnt known existed. Anyone who has struggled to figure out who they are and how they want to live will surely appreciate this informative and engaging life story. Praise for Alice in Genderland Few know the transgender scene like GIRL TALK magazines Alice Novic. This exciting new memoir by her male alter ego takes us along with him and the people he loves, as he encounters and explores each twist and turn around him and within him. As much Lewis and Clark as it is Lewis Carroll, Alice in Genderland blazes a new trail in the world of crossdressing. Linda Jensen, contributing writer, Transgender Forum Alice bravely explores the limits of gender, sexuality, and relationshipsa sexy, poignant, and often hilarious memoir of transgenderism. Vernon A. Rosario, M.D., author of The Erotic Imagination, clinical faculty, UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute More provocative than soothing, Alice in Genderland is fascinating and well worth reading. Vern L. Bullough, Ph.D., author of Crossdressing, Sex, and Gender, past president of the Society of the Scientific Study of Sex
What do you do when the other woman is your husband? A wife's memoir of her husband's sex change Christine Benvenuto had been married for more than twenty years—with three young children—when her husband turned to her one night in bed and said "I'm thinking constantly about my gender." He was unhappy in his body and wanted to become a woman. Part memoir, part voyeur's look into a marriage, Sex Changes is a journey through the end of a marriage and out the other side. We see a woman, desperate to save her family and shelter her children, discover a well of strength and resilience she never knew she had. We learn what to tell the neighbors when your husband starts wearing heels with his shirts and ties. We see a woman open herself to a group of friends who travel with her through her darkest times, provide light and levity throughout—and who offer the opportunity to learn how to give as well as receive the love and support of true friendship. When she lost her husband to skirts and hormones, life made Chris a better woman. Sex Changes is the story of what one woman discovered about herself in the midst of the conflagration of her family. Fiercely funny, self-lacerating, and not entirely politically correct, Sex Changes is a journey of love and anguish told with hilarity, heartbreak and a lot of soul searching. It is about the mysteries in every marriage, the secrets we chose to keep, and the freedom that the truth can bring.
Nothing is more certain in life than change, and this change is bigger than most. In 2009, Leslie Fabian's husband, David-an orthopedic surgeon who'd been privately cross-dressing for most of his life-realized that brief forays into the world as Deborah would never be enough. This came as no surprise to Leslie. For two decades, cross-dressing had been a part of their lives; but she had witnessed her spouse's devastation each time he returned to his male persona. Once David finally realized he was "more than just a cross-dresser," Leslie encouraged him to become Deborah. My Husband's a Woman Now is the personal, heartfelt tale of a wife supporting her mate's transition to female, while grieving the loss of her male partner. It's a love story, abounding with tales of the Fabians' challenges, changes, and ultimate triumph over the radical upheaval of their lives...by their own choice. This story can and will inspire you, whether you're transgender, gay, straight-or anything in-between!
Author: Jo Green
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Release Date: 2017-08-21
Genre: Social Science
Individuals who transition from one gender to another are often in some degree of a relationship, and over 55% of these relationships endure through the transition process. While more resources are emerging for trans people themselves, there is very little information available for their partners. Through first-hand accounts and vignettes of successful partnerships, this book presents detailed descriptions of everything involved in the transition process, with specific guidance for those supporting a partner in transition. Topics include disclosure, mental health, coming out, loss and grief, sex and sexuality and the legal, medical and social practicalities of transitioning. In this essential guide, people whose partners are across the transgender spectrum speak out on their own experiences with personal advice and support for others.
Bobbie Thompson, the supportive spouse of a transgender male-to-female, tells her side of their story in "My HUSBAND Looks Better in Lingerie Than I Do ... DAMN IT," in this companion memoir to "Hung in the Middle: A Journey of Gender Discovery," (www.hunginthemiddle.com) written by her spouse, Alana Nicole Sholar. After knowing 'him' for nearly 25 years, and even sharing a three-year intimate relationship in the mid-1990's, upon seeing 'her' for the first time in 2006, Bobbie was freaked out and didn't want to have anything to do with 'her.' Two years later, December 31, 2008, they were married. But marriage was only the beginning of this wild and wonderful ride they share called life. Often when Bobbie shares with others that her spouse is transgender she is asked, "Why in the world would you choose to be married to someone like that." "My HUSBAND Looks Better in Lingerie Than I Do ... DAMN IT" answers that question and further explains theirs is a happy marriage, although they face the same pitfalls faced in any marriage, such as financial difficulties, in addition to many situations other marriages may never encounter, such as Alana being diagnosed as HIV positive. Bobbie's is a transition story ... not a story of physical transition as are most stories about transgender persons, but a story of transition of perspective ... from ignorance and misunderstanding to educated and informed. Bobbie and Alana still live in the same rural Kentucky town where they both grew up ... only Alana grew up there as a male. "My HUSBAND Looks Better in Lingerie Than I Do ... DAMN IT," not only shares true experiences and lessons learned from those experiences, but is a life transforming love story.
Author: Emily Skidmore
Publisher: NYU Press
Release Date: 2017-09-19
The incredible stories of how trans men assimilated into mainstream communities in the late 1800s. In 1883, Frank Dubois gained national attention for his life in Waupun, Wisconsin. There he was known as a hard-working man, married to a young woman named Gertrude Fuller. What drew national attention to his seemingly unremarkable life was that he was revealed to be anatomically female. Dubois fit so well within the small community that the townspeople only discovered his “true sex” when his former husband and their two children arrived in the town searching in desperation for their departed wife and mother. At the turn of the twentieth century, trans men were not necessarily urban rebels seeking to overturn stifling gender roles. In fact, they often sought to pass as conventional men, choosing to live in small towns where they led ordinary lives, aligning themselves with the expectations of their communities. They were, in a word, unexceptional. In True Sex, Emily Skidmore uncovers the stories of eighteen trans men who lived in the United States between 1876 and 1936. Despite their “unexceptional” quality, their lives are surprising and moving, challenging much of what we think we know about queer history. By tracing the narratives surrounding the moments of “discovery” in these communities – from reports in local newspapers to medical journals and beyond -- this book challenges the assumption that the full story of modern American sexuality is told by cosmopolitan radicals. Rather, True Sex reveals complex narratives concerning rural geography and community, persecution and tolerance, and how these factors intersect with the history of race, identity and sexuality in America.
Author: Sarah McBride
Release Date: 2018
Genre: Transgender people
Sarah McBride is on a mission to fight for transgender rights around the world. But before she was a prominent activist, and before she became the first transgender person to speak at the Democratic National Convention in 2016, she was a teenager struggling with her identity. With emotional depth and unparalleled honesty, Sarah shares her personal struggle with gender identity, coming out to her supportive but distraught parents, and finding her way as a woman. She inspires readers with her barrier-breaking political journey that took her, in just four years, from a frightened, closeted college student to one of the nation's most prominent transgender activists walking the halls of the White House, passing laws, and addressing the country in the midst of a heated presidential election. She also details the heartbreaking romance with her first love and future husband Andy, a trans man and activist, who passed away from cancer in 2014 just days after they were married. Sarah's story of identity, love, and tragic loss serves as a powerful entry point for readers who want to gain a deeper understanding of gender identity and what it means to be openly transgender. From issues like bathroom access to healthcare, identification and schools, Sarah weaves the important political milestones, cultural and political debates, and historical context into a personal journey that will open hearts and change minds. Tomorrow Will Be Differenthighlights Sarah's work as an activist and the key issues at the forefront of the fight for trans equality, providing a call-to-arms and empowering look at the road ahead. The fight for equality and freedom has only just begun. oWe must never be a country that says there's only one way to love, only one way to look, and only one way to live.o - Sarah McBride
Kristin Collier and her husband struggle to decide whether and how to stay together after it becomes apparent to him that he is transgender. As her husband transitions to live the rest of his life as a woman, Collier leans into her garden, community, and new romantic interests while she transforms in her own right, evolving as a woman, mother, and housewife. With honesty, humor, and grounded in her practice of Compassionate Communication, Collier redefines homemaking as she and her former husband continue to live and parent as partners in the same household.
Author: T Cooper
Release Date: 2012-11-13
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
A few years ago, the novelist T Cooper wrote his parents a letter telling them he “wasn’t their daughter anymore.” And that was the “good news.” Real Man Adventures is Cooper’s brash, wildly inventive, and often comic exploration of the paradoxes and pleasures of masculinity. He takes us through his transition into identifying as male, and how he went on to marry his wife and become an adoring stepfather of two children. Alternately bemused and exasperated when he feels compelled to explain all this, Cooper never loses his sense of humor. “Ten Things People Assume I Understand About Women But Actually Don’t,” reads one chapter title, while another proffers: “Sometimes I Think the Whole of Modern History Can Be Explained by Testosterone.” A brilliant collage of letters, essays, interviews (with his brother, with his wife, with the parents of other transgender children), artwork, and sharp evocations of difficult conversations with old friends and puzzled bureaucrats, Real Man Adventures will forever change what you think about what it means to be a man.
Author: Ali Sands
Release Date: 2016-09-01
Transgender stories are appearing everywhere in the media today. Caitlin Jenner, Chaz Bono and Janet Mock offer many inspiring visions of the journey people take to bring their bodies in line with their gender identity. But what goes on behind the scenes of gender transitioning? What about the spouses and families who watch and support their transgender partners through these epic journeys? Rarely do we hear about their experiences of loving transgender people. With literary poise and timely humor Ali Sands delivers a riveting memoir of finding her way through a labyrinth of changing identity from married heterosexual woman to lesbian lover to queer femme. Sands lays her soul open to readers, leading them through an odyssey of raw human emotion, as she recounts the intimate details of loving and living with a transgender man. Her modern journey of courage and self-discovery easily trumps that of any Homeric hero.