Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay

Author: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1416940839
Release Date: 2006-04-01
Genre: Family & Relationships

The moment the second line on the pee stick turns pink, women discover they've entered a world of parenting experts. Friends, family, colleagues, the UPS delivery guy -- suddenly everybody is a trove of advice, much of it contradictory and confusing. With dire warnings of what will happen if baby is fed on demand and even direr warnings of what will happen if he isn't, not to mention hordes of militant "lactivists," cosleeping advocates, and books on what to worry about next, modern parenthood can seem like a minefield. In busy Mom-friendly short essays, Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay delivers the empathetic straight dirt on parenting, tackling everything from Mommy & Me classes ("Your baby doesn't need to be making friends at three months old -- you do! But not with people you'll meet at Mommy & Me") to attachment parenting ("If you're holding your baby 24/7, that's not a baby, that's a tumor"). Stefanie Wilder-Taylor combines practical tips with sidesplitting humor and refreshing honesty, assuring women that they can be good mothers and responsibly make their own choices. A witty and welcome antidote to trendy parenting texts and scarifying case studies, Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay provides genuine support, encouragement, and indispensable common-sense advice.

It s Not Me It s You

Author: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1439164320
Release Date: 2009-07-07
Genre: Biography & Autobiography

Stefanie Wilder-Taylor has never been one to take the easy, conventional route. In her latest work It’s Not Me, It’s You, she unabashedly showcases a life well lived, ignoring all wisdom, but yet somehow, coming out on top. Combining her trademark biting wit and straightforward common sense, the anticipated comedic memoir delivers outrageous tales from all periods of her life and family history. From Taylor’s outlook on working hard (audition for a game show instead) to getting her husband to propose (forget The Rules: try nagging and physical violence) these stories venture beyond daycare, sure to entertain both parents and non-parents alike. Covering a wide range of topics that explore the anxiety, frustration, and exhaustion that accompany the rewarding, comical, awe-inspiring, and life-altering roles of parent, teenager, wife, and daughter, It’s Not Me, It’s You offers readers an escape, empathy, and plenty of laughs.

I m Kind of a Big Deal

Author: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1439176973
Release Date: 2011-06-07
Genre: Biography & Autobiography

WARNING TO READERS: The Author of This Book is Kind of Crazy, Kind of Delusional, and All Kinds of Hilarious Whether she’s driving a limo for former Family Ties star Justine Bateman, dancing in the dark for a rarely seen Bob Dylan music video, or stalking a bachelor reject from TV’s Love Connection, Stefanie Wilder-Taylor is kind of a big deal—at least in her own mind. Smart, screwy, and scathingly funny, her tell-all essays capture every cringe-worthy moment of her kind-of famous life. From bombing as a stand-up comic for born-again Christians, to winging it as a singing waitress in an Italian restaurant, to posting open letters to Angelina Jolie and David Hasselhoff, this unstoppable L.A. transplant refuses to give up on her dreams—no matter how ill-advised—and shows us a side of Hollywood better kept hidden. When it comes to funny women—unplugged and unleashed—they don’t get any wilder than Stefanie Wilder-Taylor. . . .

Confessions of a Slacker Mom

Author: Muffy Mead-ferro
Publisher: Da Capo Press
ISBN: 9780786722983
Release Date: 2008-08-01
Genre: Psychology

Parents who are fed up with the pressure to turn their children into star athletes, concert violinists, and merit scholars-all at once!-finally have an alternative: the world of Slacker Moms, where kids learn to do things for themselves and parents can cut themselves some slack; where it's perfectly all right to do less, have less, and spend less. Slacker moms say "No" to parenting philosophies that undermine parents'-and children's-ability to think for themselves. They say "Yes" to saving their money and time by opting out of the parenting competition. And they say "Hell, Yes!" to having a life of their own, knowing it makes them better parents.In this witty and insightful book, author Muffy Mead-Ferro reflects on her experience of growing up on a ranch in Wyoming, where parenting-by necessity-was more hands-off, people "made do" with what they had, and common sense and generational wisdom prevailed. We should all take her sane lead!

Daddy Needs a Drink

Author: Robert Wilder
Publisher: Delta
ISBN: 9780385339261
Release Date: 2007-05-01
Genre: Humor

A hilarious compilation of essays takes an irreverent look at the art of parenting from a father's point of view, chronicling the realities of sleep and cocktail deprivation, children's bizarre obsessions, and other unique challenges and joys of parenthood. Reprint. 25,000 first printing.

Ketchup Is a Vegetable

Author: Robin O'Bryant
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
ISBN: 9781466857193
Release Date: 2013-10-14
Genre: Humor

If you don't have anything nice to say about motherhood, then... read this book. Robin O'Bryant offers a no holds barred look at the day to day life of being a mother to three, running a household and the everyday monotony of parenting. It's not always pretty but it's real. Whether she's stuffing cabbage in her bra... dealing with defiant yet determined daughters... yelling at the F.B.I... or explaining the birds and the bees to her preschooler... you're sure to find dozens of humorous and relatable situations. From the creator of Robin's Chicks, one of the South's most popular blogs on motherhood, misunderstandings and musings, comes a collection of essays that will not only make you laugh and cry, but realize that you're not alone in your journey. Sit back and relax, pour yourself some "mommy juice," throw a fresh diaper on your baby and deadbolt the bedroom door to keep your kids out... because once you start reading you'll be too busy wiping away tears of laughter to wipe anybody's butt.

Whoa Baby

Author: Kelly Rowland
Publisher: Da Capo Lifelong Books
ISBN: 9780738219431
Release Date: 2017-04-11
Genre: Health & Fitness

When global pop star Kelly Rowland became a mom for the first time, giving birth to her son Titan, she felt the most incredible love she had ever experienced. But after spending nine months so focused on the baby growing inside her, she was caught completely off guard by how much she had changed. Like many first-time moms, she was not ready for what had happened to her body and for so many overwhelming new thoughts and emotions. She wondered: Will I Ever Walk Again? Will I Ever Sleep Again? Are My Boobs Always Going to Be Like This? Rowland had questions about everything from postpartum bleeding, skin and hair changes, and dealing with aches and pains to getting back in shape and sex after baby. She also weighed the larger notions about what she wanted out of motherhood and the rest of her life. It was a good thing that Rowland's longtime OB/GYN Dr. Tristan Emily Bickman was right there to answer every single crazy question that popped into her head. Nothing fazed Dr. Bickman and she provided Rowland with the answers she so desperately needed, telling her over and over that, in the months after a woman gives birth, nothing is exactly strange, but nothing is necessarily normal either. It's all just part of the "miracle" of birth. In Whoa, Baby! Rowland and Dr. Bickman team up to share this reassuring information with new moms everywhere. Often hilarious and always down-to-earth, Rowland and Dr. Bickman cover every surprising challenge that new moms face.

The Mommy Shorts Guide to Remarkably Average Parenting

Author: Ilana Wiles
Publisher: Abrams
ISBN: 9781613123287
Release Date: 2016-09-27
Genre: Family & Relationships

Ilana Wiles is not a good mother. She’s not a bad mother either. Like most of us, she’s normal. From the creator of the wildly popular blog Mommy Shorts comes Ilana Wiles’s first humor book on remarkably average parenting. If you want solid advice about raising kids, this book is not for you. If you want to wallow in your own misery about how having kids is AWFUL, this book is not for you. This book pays homage to the every-parent and suggests that they are the people having the best child-rearing experience of all. Using Wiles’s signature infographics and photographs to illustrate her personal and hilarious essays on motherhood, the book is an honest guide that celebrates the fun of being a mom.

Double Time

Author: Jane Roper
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
ISBN: 9781250014917
Release Date: 2012-05-08
Genre: Family & Relationships

Becoming a mother is rarely what you expect. Jane Roper never expected she'd have twins—or that they'd be such a spirited twosome. She didn't expect that finding the right balance of work and home would be so tricky. And she certainly didn't expect she'd grapple with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder during her daughters' toddler years. But she also didn't anticipate just how much joy, laughter and self-discovery motherhood would bring. Full of warmth, honesty, occasional advice, and a generous helping of humor, Double Time is a smart and engaging account of the first three years with multiples and a refreshingly candid and vulnerable look at clinical depression. It's a memoir that will resonate countless women—especially those parenting in double time.

The Chicktionary

Author: Anna Lefler
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 9781440531224
Release Date: 2011-10-18
Genre: Reference

You're all over the definitions of "low lights," "ruching," and a "tankini." But can you spot a "Mrs. Potato Head" when you see one? That's where The Chicktionary comes in. With the help of Anna Lefler and her collection of 450+ must-know words and phrases, you'll be in the know when faced with terms like Aberzombie, Bandeau, George Glass, and Puma. So whether you are dealing with a Residual Girlfriend, diagnose yourself with a bad case of Basset Knees, or need to go on a Briet, you'll be prepared for all that comes your way. At the very least, this book will serve as a delightful reminder that everyone has a skeleton in her closet--right next to her fat pants.

Confessions of a Scary Mommy

Author: Jill Smokler
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 9781451673784
Release Date: 2012-04-03
Genre: Family & Relationships

Sometimes I just let my children fall asleep in front of the TV. In a culture that idealizes motherhood, it’s scary to confess that, in your house, being a mother is beautiful and dirty and joyful and frustrating all at once. Admitting that it’s not easy doesn’t make you a bad mom; at least, it shouldn’t. If I can’t survive my daughter as a toddler, how the hell am I going to get through the teenage years? When Jill Smokler was first home with her small children, she thought her blog would be something to keep friends and family updated. To her surprise, she hit a chord in the hearts of mothers everywhere. I end up doing my son’s homework. It’s wrong, but so much easier. Total strangers were contributing their views on that strange reality called motherhood. As other women shared their stories, Jill realized she wasn’t alone in her feelings of exhaustion and imperfection. My eighteen month old still can’t say “Mommy” but used the word “shit” in perfect context. But she sensed her readers were still holding back, so decided to start an anonymous confessional, a place where real moms could leave their most honest thoughts without fearing condemnation. I pretend to be happy but I cry every night in the shower. The reactions were amazing: some sad, some pee-in-your-pants funny, some brutally honest. But they were real, not a commercial glamorization. I clock out of motherhood at 8 P.M. and hide in the basement with my laptop and a beer. If you’re already a fan, lock the bathroom door on your whining kids, run a bubble bath, and settle in. If you’ve not encountered Scary Mommy before, break out a glass of champagne as well, because you’ll be toasting your initiation into a select club. I know why some animals eat their young. In chapters that cover husbands (The Biggest Baby of Them All) to homework (Didn’t I Already Graduate?), Confessions of a Scary Mommy combines all-new essays from Jill with the best of the anonymous confessions. Sometimes I wish my son was still little—then I hear kids screaming at the store. As Jill says, “We like to paint motherhood as picture perfect. A newborn peacefully resting on his mother’s chest. A toddler taking tentative first steps into his mother’s loving arms. A mother fluffing her daughter’s prom dress. These moments are indeed miraculous and joyful; they can also be few and far between.” Of course you adore your kids. Of course you would lay down your life for them. But be honest now: Have you ever wondered what possessed you to sign up for the job of motherhood? STOP! DO NOT OPEN THIS BOOK UNTIL YOU RECITE THESE VOWS! I shall remember that no mother is perfect and my children will thrive because, and sometimes even in spite, of me. I shall not preach to a fellow mother who has not asked my opinion. It’s none of my damn business. I shall maintain a sense of humor about all things motherhood.

The Three Martini Playdate

Author: Christie Mellor
Publisher: Chronicle Books
ISBN: 9781452116549
Release Date: 2012-05-11
Genre: Family & Relationships

Parents were here first! How did the kids suddenly take control? Sure the world has changed from the days when children were supposed to be seen and not heardbut things have gotten a little out of hand. What about some quality time for the grownups? Author Christie Mellor's hilarious, personal, refreshing, and actually quite useful advice delightfully rights the balance between parent and child. In dozens of short, wickedly funny chapters, she skewers today's parental absurdities and reminds us how to make child-rearing a kick. With recipes, helpful hints, and illustrations, this high-spirited book is the only book parents will really needand enjoy.

Parenting Illustrated with Crappy Pictures

Author: Amber Dusick
Publisher: Harlequin
ISBN: 9781460309865
Release Date: 2013-04-01
Genre: Family & Relationships

"The drawings aren't very good, Mama." —Crappy Boy, age 5 Of course you love being a parent. But sometimes, it just sucks. I know. I'm Amber Dusick and I started my blog Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures because I needed a place to vent about the funny (and frustrating) day-to-day things that happened to me as a parent. Turns out, poop is hilarious! At least when you're not the one wiping it up. This book won't make your frustrating moments any less crappy. But these stories about my Crappy Baby, Crappy Boy and my husband, Crappy Papa, will hopefully make you laugh. Because you're not alone. And sometimes the crappiest moments make the best memories. Parenting is wonderful! And also, well, you know.

Hello My Name Is Mommy

Author: Sheri Lynch
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 0312318324
Release Date: 2004-04-07
Genre: Family & Relationships

The co-host of the syndicated morning radio show Bob & Sheri offers an entertaining look at the trials and tribulations of pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood and explains how to overcome the fears, anxieties, and examples of a dysfunctional childhood to become a mother. Original.

Chicken Soup for the Soul New Moms

Author: Jack Canfield
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1611591864
Release Date: 2011-03-08
Genre: Family & Relationships

Chicken Soup for the Soul: New Moms celebrates the physical, emotional, and spiritual experience of having a child and creating a family, and will encourage and amuse any expectant and new mom. A great baby shower and new mother gift! Becoming a mom is the most amazing event. Chicken Soup for the Soul: New Moms will delight new and expectant moms with its heartwarming and humorous stories about raising babies and toddlers. This book is full of stories by other moms sharing the wonders of early motherhood, from waiting for the baby, to those early weeks and first few years, and everything in between!