At some point in their lives, millions of people have waited tables. And many remain haunted by nightmare scenarios where they are the sole server in a packed restaurant. For all those disenchanted current and former food service employees, Darron Cardosa (a.k.a. the Bitchy Waiter) has your back. Since 2008 he s vented his frustrations about everything from entitled has-beens to what "really" goes on in that fancy restaurant in a popular blog. A snarky mix of Sedaris, Bourdain, Bombeck, and Mo Rocca, Cardosa distills 30 years of food service into dark, funny tales that anyone who worked in the industry will relate to."
Kitchen Confidential meets Sex and the City in this delicious, behind-the-scenes memoir from the first female captain at one of New York City's most prestigious restaurants While Phoebe Damrosch was figuring out what to do with her life, she supported herself by working as a waiter. Before long she was a captain at the New York City four-star restaurant Per Se, the culinary creation of master chef Thomas Keller. Service Included is the story of her experiences there: her obsession with food, her love affair with a sommelier, and her observations of the highly competitive and frenetic world of fine dining. She also provides the following dining tips: Please do not ask your waiter what else he or she does. Please do not steal your waiter's pen. Please do not say you're allergic when you don't like something. Please do not send something back after eating most of it. Please do not make faces or gagging noises when hearing the specials—someone else at the table might like to order one of them. After reading this book, diners will never sit down at a restaurant table the same way again.
Author: Michael Fazio
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Release Date: 2011-02-01
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
New York City's top concierge gives up a keyhole view into the luxe hotel rooms, private dining and dressing rooms of the ridiculous, rich and demanding Michael Fazio is the ultimate behind-the-scenes support man. Want two orchestra tickets to the Broadway musical that just won the Tony? Call Fazio. How about an upgrade to first class on an overbooked overnight flight to Tokyo? Call Fazio. Or a roomful of fresh hydrangeas—in winter? That's right. Call Fazio. From his early start as the harried and neglected personal assistant to a typical L.A. casting agent, Fazio took what he learned there and moved into concierge work at New York City's Intercontinental Hotel, where he was eventually able to parlay his services into a large and successful business of his own. In Concierge Confidential, Fazio reveals the behind-thescenes madness that goes into getting the rich and famous what they want, and shares some great insider knowledge on how to get access to the unattainable without making the concierge, waiters and other service people crazy. A few of Fazio's tips include: • When and how much to palm in tips • How to get a seat or ticket to the hottest thing in town • How to avoid being labeled a rube the minute you walk through the door • How you can become your favorite store or restaurant's most beloved customer • And much more
Author: Anna Drezen
Publisher: Potter Style
Release Date: 2016
"Find out what really goes on in the world of hospitality with this hilarious book full of funny and absurd stories, anecdotes told in dialogue, factoids, and satirical pop quizzes by two veteran concierges who paid their way while working at a combined 50 hotels in and around Times Square."--Back cover.
Author: Imogen Edwards-Jones
Publisher: Random House
Release Date: 2011-11-30
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
'Something strange occurs to guests as soon as they check in. Even if in real life they are perfectly well-mannered, decent people with proper balanced relationships, as soon as they spin through the revolving hotel doors the normal rules of behaviour no longer seem to apply.' All of the following is true.Only the names have been changed to protect the guilty. All the anecdotes, the stories, the characters, the situations, the highs, the lows, the scams, the drugs, the misery, the love, the death and the insanity are exactly as was told by Anonymous - someone who has spent his whole career working in hotels at the heart of London's luxury hotel industry. However, for legal reasons, the stories now take place in a fictitious hotel known as Hotel Babylon. More than a decade is compressed into a day. Everything else is as it should be. The rich spend money, the hotel makes money and the chambermaids still fight the bellboys over a two-pound coin.It's just another twenty-four hours in an expensive London hotel.
The Appetizer Katie has lofty career aspirations that seem to change almost hourly: writer, film director, teacher, educational psychiatrist. In the meantime, she's waiting tables and waiting for "Mr. Right" to arrive out of the blue -- which seems unlikely, considering her romantic track record is as pitiful as her job history. The Main Course Still, a girl can dream, even when she's rushing a hot plate of linguini over to the nasty customer at table six. So when gorgeous, sensitive, perfect Dan Crichton asks her out, Katie's over the moon. But once again, commitment phobia rears its ugly head and dinner turns into the Great First Date Disaster -- and Katie's ideal romance is over before the goodnight kiss. The Just Desserts Things are tough when a woman wants it all and will not settle -- and has a little trouble making up her mind. But it's about to get really complicated for the Queen of Complications. The Bill Not only is Dan coming back -- as her new boss and engaged to someone else -- but persistent Ex-Boyfriend #3 Hugh's back too, with a vengeance. And suddenly there's a lot more on her tray than even the most able food service professional could safely handle ...
Kaitlin Chambers is an ambitious catfighter who climbs her way up to the top of the sport. But, aside from her love life, there's only thing standing in the way of her conquest of the title: Jasmine, the ultimate catfighter.
The saucy secrets of the world's finest kitchens What makes a restaurant hot? Whose name do you need to drop to get a table? Why is one place booked solid for the next nine months while somewhere equally delicious is as empty and inhospitable as the Gobi desert? In Restaurant Babylon, Imogen Edwards-Jones and her anonymous industry insider lift the lid on all the tricks of the food trade and what really makes this £90 billion a year industry tick. So please do sit down, pour yourself some heavily marked-up wine and make yourself comfortable (although we'll need that table back by 8.30 sharp). 'Shocking and at times jaw-dropping, this is a must-read' HEAT
Author: Steve Dublanica
Publisher: Harper Collins
Release Date: 2011-09-06
Genre: Social Science
Tipping is huge in America. Almost everyone leaves at least one tip every day, more than five million American workers depend on them, and we spend $66 billion in tips each year. Omnipresent yet poorly understood, tipping has worked its way into almost every nook and cranny of daily life. In Keep the Change, bestselling author Steve Dublanica dives into this unexplored world, traveling the country to meet strippers and shoeshine men, bartenders and bellhops, in a hilarious and eye-opening effort to answer those perennial questions: Should we tip? and How much?
Author: Brian David Bruns
Release Date: 2010-09-27
In Cruise Confidential, Brian David Bruns spills the dirt - or in this case, the dirty water - on those romantic, fun-filled vacations at sea. His hilarious chronicle of the year he spent working for Carnival Cruise Lines takes readers down into the areas where the crew works and lives, leaving readers gasping with laughter as they're assaulted nonstop with events that range from the absurd to the utterly bizarre. Stewards fighting over food. Cutlery allowances and other nonsensical rules. What the crew calls those onboard (no, it's not ''passengers''). And of course, the sex. An abundance of ready, willing, and able bodies eager for action on a vessel replete with nooks and crannies leads to love in some mighty strange, and seemingly impossible, places. Breezy, entertaining, and informative, Cruise Confidential is essential reading for those planning a cruise or for anyone who just needs a good laugh.
According to The Waiter, eighty percent of customers are nice people just looking for something to eat. The remaining twenty percent, however, are socially maladjusted psychopaths. Waiter Rant offers the server's unique point of view, replete with tales of customer stupidity, arrogant misbehavior, and unseen bits of human grace transpiring in the most unlikely places. Through outrageous stories, The Waiter reveals the secrets to getting good service, proper tipping etiquette, and how to keep him from spitting in your food. The Waiter also shares his ongoing struggle, at age thirty-eight, to figure out if he can finally leave the first job at which he's truly thrived.
Author: Ozzy Osbourne
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Release Date: 2010-01-25
"They've said some crazy things about me over the years. I mean, okay: 'He bit the head off a bat.' Yes. 'He bit the head off a dove.' Yes. But then you hear things like, 'Ozzy went to the show last night, but he wouldn't perform until he'd killed fifteen puppies . . .' Now me, kill fifteen puppies? I love puppies. I've got eighteen of the f**king things at home. I've killed a few cows in my time, mind you. And the chickens. I shot the chickens in my house that night. It haunts me, all this crazy stuff. Every day of my life has been an event. I took lethal combinations of booze and drugs for thirty f**king years. I survived a direct hit by a plane, suicidal overdoses, STDs. I've been accused of attempted murder. Then I almost died while riding over a bump on a quad bike at f**king two miles per hour. People ask me how come I'm still alive, and I don't know what to say. When I was growing up, if you'd have put me up against a wall with the other kids from my street and asked me which one of us was gonna make it to the age of sixty, which one of us would end up with five kids and four grandkids and houses in Buckinghamshire and Beverly Hills, I wouldn't have put money on me, no f**king way. But here I am: ready to tell my story, in my own words, for the first time. A lot of it ain't gonna be pretty. I've done some bad things in my time. I've always been drawn to the dark side, me. But I ain't the devil. I'm just John Osbourne: a working-class kid from Aston, who quit his job in the factory and went looking for a good time."
Author: Davon Thomas
Release Date: 2011-05-01
This book was designed for any kind of waiter in the restaurant industry. Whether your waiting career has just started, or your a seasoned veteran. The tips in this book will guide you through every day ensuring that you get the tips you deserve.
Author: William O'Connor
Release Date: 2012-06-26
A guide to drawing dragons introduces techniques for achieving different effects and textures from start to finish, and profiles the behavior, history, and biology of eight dragons of legend from around the world.
Author: Dawn Weber
Release Date: 2016-12-29
Pesky kids, insane dogs, farting husbands. Some would call these major annoyances. Dawn Weber calls it Monday morning. But Dawn doesn't get mad. She gets mobile. That's right -- she whips out her smartphone, and she takes names. "I Love You. Now Go Away: Confessions of a Woman with a Smartphone" is a thoroughly modern concept, a book drafted entirely on a phone. On the bleachers, in the bathroom -- anywhere she could, with any time she could find, Dawn pulled her smartphone from her purse and let her thumbs do the walking, tapping out a side-splitting romp through midlife in the Midwest. Hey -- she loves her family. She can even tolerate her co-workers. But sometimes, they drive her nuts. They use all the toilet paper. They drink all the coffee. They swipe her stuff and spend her money and talk too loudly. They burp, they fart, and they snore, sometimes simultaneously. These are the stories Dawn tells in this hilarious humor collection, perfect for any woman who's busy and frazzled and ready for a break. "I Love You. Now Go Away: Confessions of a Woman with a Smartphone" is a fast-paced, raunchy, guilty pleasure, just like a nice box of wine.