What did the ref say to the chicken who tripped a defender? Fowl Why was the footballer upset on his birthday? He got a red card These and many more howlers to make you laugh even if we lose the Cup!!!
Did you hear that Ashley Cole and Cheryl Tweedy are releasing a song together?They're calling themselves Goals Allowed.A fab and funny joke book full of footballing jokes, anecdotes, cartoons and other crazy stuff to get you giggling!
Over four hundred of the funniest football jokes from the makers of Match! the UK's best football magazine! Match! Joke Book is a hilarious mix of football quips, puns, knock-knock jokes and shaggy-dog stories. You'll laugh your football socks off! The Sweetest Stars Sergio Agu-AERO (Manchester City) Lee KIT-KAT-termole (Sunderland) MARS Bender (Bayer Leverkusen) ROLO Touré (Liverpool) John TERRY'S CHOCOLATE ORANGE (Chelsea)
A funny joke book about LSU Football. It is filled with dirty jokes about your favorite LSU fan you love to hate. It makes a great gift or a book to share with friends. You will be telling these jokes over and over again to your laughing friends.
Hundreds of the most hilarious football jokes around. Perfect for football fans to enjoy in between those all-important World Cup games, Premier League matches and European Cup finals. When is a footballer like a baby? When he dribbles. Who's in goal when the ghost team plays football? The ghoulie, of course Why is a football crowd learning to sing like a person opening a tin of sardines? They both have trouble with the key. What goes stomp, stomp, stomp, squelch? An elephant with wet football boots. How does an octopus go on to a football pitch? Well-armed! How can a footballer stop his nose running? Put out a foot and trip it up. What's the best day for a footballer to eat bacon and eggs for breakfast? Fry-day.
A funny joke book about University of Tennessee Football. It is filled with dirty jokes about your favorite Tennessee fan you love to hate. It makes a great gift or a book to share with friends. You will be telling these jokes over and over again to your laughing friends.
Author: Joe King
Release Date: 2018-05-03
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
What did the ref say to the chicken who tripped a defender? Fowl! Why was the footballer upset on his birthday? He got a red card! These and many more howlers to make you laugh no matter how your team is doing!
Author: Nelson Mandela
Publisher: S. Fischer Verlag
Release Date: 2014-01-25
»Ich bin einer von ungezählten Millionen, die durch Nelson Mandelas Leben inspiriert wurden.« Barack Obama Eine fast drei Jahrzehnte währende Gefängnishaft ließ Nelson Mandela zum Mythos der schwarzen Befreiungsbewegung werden. Kaum ein anderer Politiker unserer Zeit symbolisiert heute in solchem Maße die Friedenshoffnungen der Menschheit und den Gedanken der Aussöhnung aller Rassen wie der ehemalige südafrikanische Präsident und Friedensnobelpreisträger. Auch nach seinem Tod finden seine ungebrochene Charakterstärke und Menschenfreundlichkeit die Bewunderung aller friedenswilligen Menschen auf der Welt. Mandelas Lebensgeschichte ist über die politische Bedeutung hinaus ein spannend zu lesendes, kenntnis- und faktenreiches Dokument menschlicher Entwicklung unter Bedingungen und Fährnissen, vor denen die meisten Menschen innerlich wie äußerlich kapituliert haben dürften.
Author: Bathroom Readers' Institute
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Release Date: 2016-05-01
Genre: Juvenile Nonfiction
Giggles, groans, and belly laughs, packed on every page. Kids can’t resist sharing jokes (even you try to stop them), so they always need a fresh supply. We’ve stuffed the pages of this little joke book with the funniest jokes we could find. Old favorites, new favorites, and a few festering stinkers—all guaranteed to make kids laugh out loud. You'll find Q&A jokes, knock-knock jokes, riddles, and one-liners. And, of course, we’ve included entire chapters of those all-time kid-pleasers: elephant jokes, pirate jokes, and space jokes. Here’s a sampling: What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill. Why don’t zombies eat clowns? They taste funny. Why did the hen scold her chicks? They were using fowl language. What kind of books do skunks read? Best-smellers! How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side.
Author: Editors of Portable Press
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Release Date: 2017-10-17
Genre: Juvenile Nonfiction
Make your friends giggle, guffaw, and groan with disgust at the funniest and grossest jokes ever! It's a 2-for-1 of epic proportions—this book combines our two bestselling kids' joke books! Do you know a kid who likes Q&A jokes, knock-knocks, puns, riddles, or one-liners? Of course you do! This collection has all that and more—over 900 jokes, actually. Perfect for boys or girls, it spans all kid-friendly topics, including fairy tales, animals, monsters, and disgusting jokes that'll make them (and you) want to barf. They'll laugh out loud at zingers like: Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch? A: Beef jerky! Q: Do zombies eat candy with their fingers? A: No, they eat the fingers separately. Q: What kind of life was found on Pluto? A: Fleas! And many more!
Feministisch! Herrlich sarkastisch! Und gar nicht dämlich! Können Frauen Genies sein? Oder sind ihre Arme zu kurz und ihre Köpfe zu klein? Warum haben wir im Geschichtsunterricht nur über zwei drei Frauen etwas gelernt? Was haben eigentlich all die anderen früher gemacht? »Jacky Fleming schaut genau hin – und das muss sie auch, denn sie sind schwer zu finden: Frauen in der Geschichte.« The Guardian »Schon der Anblick der weiblichen Gestalt lehrt, dass das Weib weder zu großen geistigen, noch körperlichen Arbeiten bestimmt ist.« Arthur Schopenhauer
Author: Jim Chumley
Release Date: 2017-10-12
Genre: English wit and humor
What did the manager do when the pitch became flooded? He sent on his subs. God and the devil were having an argument, and Satan proposed a football game between heaven and hell to resolve the dispute. God, in his eternal goodness, pointed out that it wouldn't be a fair match because all the 'good' players go to heaven. The devil smiled, replying, "Yes, but we've got all the refs." Football is obviously very serious business-- like when that disallowed goal was 'never off-side', and that was 'totally a dive' but it's a funny old game really. This compendium of hilarious jokes will help you see the lighter side when your team is showing you up, and give your mates a good chuckle at the celebrations when they win.
Football is a funny old game and, as this little book shows, it has inspired many laugh-out-loud jokes. Illustrated in full colour, Football’s Funniest Jokes is guaranteed to raise a laugh at half-time or even when your team loses on penalties.