The other side of the closet

Author: Amity Buxton
Publisher: Wiley
ISBN: UCSC:32106015218958
Release Date: 1994-06-07
Genre: Family & Relationships

Candid, compassionate, authoritative--a rich source of insights, information, and practical guidance. "The first major work on the topic." --Gay Community News "A much needed comprehensive study of what happens to husbands, wives, and children during the coming-out crisis. --The Reverend Jane E. Vennard, founder Task Force for Spouses of Gays and Lesbians "The new enlarged edition adds important factors, especially children's reactions to a parent's coming out. Well-researched and insightful." --Fritz Klein, M.D., author of The Bisexual Option "Anybody practicing in this area would be well advised to read this book." --Professor Arthur S. Leonard, New York Law School In two million marriages, one spouse is gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Having a spouse or parent disclose his or her same-sex attraction is a shattering experience fraught with pain, confusion, anger, and a profound loss of self-esteem. Amity Pierce Buxton spotlights this exploding phenomenon and reports constructive coping strategies that spouses and children have used to resolve problems of sexual damage, family breakdown, deception, and homophobia. Illustrated throughout by riveting personal narratives, this expanded edition of The Other Side of the Closet traces the family's journey from initial trauma to eventual transformation. This invaluable source of information for spouses, families, and professionals is based on Dr. Buxton's eight years of research, including interviews with 1,000 straight spouses and children, her own personal experience, and her counseling work with spouses of gay, lesbian, and bisexual partners.

Unseen Unheard

Author: Amity Pierce Buxton
Publisher: CCB Publishing
ISBN: 9781771430692
Release Date: 2013-06
Genre: Family & Relationships

When presumably heterosexual spouses turn out to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender, the unexpected revelation overshadows its devastating impact on their straight wives and husbands. "Unseen-Unheard" opens the window on their remarkable journeys from trauma to transformation. What would you do if your husband said he'd fallen in love with a man or thinks he might be gay or bisexual, or you discovered your wife's texts, photos, or emails indicating she has a female lover and wonders if she might be lesbian or bisexual? Well, this happens, a shattering reality that at least two million men and women have faced and tried to understand and accept, even as we were unseen and our voices unheard. Who are we? We are husbands and wives left behind when our spouses came out or after we discovered they were gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. Shocked and paralyzed, swirling in the devastating wake of our beloveds' revelation, we had to pick up unrecognizable pieces of our former lives and try to reconfigure them without much outside support, recognition, or understanding of the depth of the crisis. Yes, straight spouses typically cope alone with unique issues of sexuality, betrayal, and broken belief systems. Slowly, we redefine ourselves, create new lives, affirm the joy of living, and reap life's infinite possibilities. We invite you to walk with us and experience our journey from the first desperate cries of discovery or disclosure to insights and wisdom gained as we resolve our issues and transform our lives. As you observe and listen, we hope you will embrace the courage, creativity, and resilience of our strength, which we didn't know we had, yet was so powerful that lifelong habits were broken and we uniquely and marvelously became who we were meant to be. About the Authors: Amity Pierce Buxton, her Ph.D. from Columbia University, has taught grades pre-school through graduate school. Member of the American Psychological Association, she serves on the editorial boards of the Journal of Bisexuality and the Journal of GLBT Family Studies and on the board of the Catholic Association for Gay and Lesbian Ministry. She wrote "The Other Side of the Closet: the Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families" and founded the worldwide Straight Spouse Network. Currently, she counsels spouses and couples, conducts research, writes articles and chapters, lectures, and gives workshops on all aspects of the impact of a spouse's coming out in a mixed-orientation or transgender/non-transgender marriage. R. L. Pinely writes, "Collaborating with Amity to write this book has been an amazing journey. Absorbing her expertise has been a rare privilege as we lived vicariously through the lives of others and walked in their shoes. As owner of an online support group, I'm so thankful that I have the opportunity every day to pass along her wisdom, insight, experience, and understanding to nearly 3,000 women." Visit the Straight Spouse Network website: www.straightspouse.org

When Your Spouse Comes Out

Author: Carol Grever
Publisher: Routledge
ISBN: 9781136458835
Release Date: 2012-10-12
Genre: Family & Relationships

Effective therapeutic self-help techniques for a straight mate’s recovery One of the most traumatic events that can happen in a marriage is discovering your mate is gay. When Your Spouse Comes Out: A Straight Mate’s Recovery Manual is a comprehensive exploration of the trauma that provides practical steps that successful individuals have taken to keep this event from ruining their future. This guide offers solid therapeutic techniques for self-help and presents poignant true stories that illustrate that the damage is not irreparable. The book examines the various reactions to the coming-out event, the personal challenges and obstacles often experienced, and shares lessons learned and some of the secrets of transformation. When this crisis hits home, isolation, depression, anger, grief, and self-recrimination take root. When Your Spouse Comes Out: A Straight Mate’s Recovery Manual presents role models, analysis, practices, and activities promoting long-term emotional recovery for heterosexual men and women whose intimate partners are gay. The text includes integrated exercises helpful for class work and student discussion and case studies of people who recount their stories and explain their recovery. Topics in When Your Spouse Comes Out: A Straight Mate’s Recovery Manual include: different straight spouse responses to the coming out event diverse ways gay mates approach coming out typical stages of coping by straight spouses health risks how to tell the children helping children with the resulting challenges paths toward healing recreating family and more When Your Spouse Comes Out: A Straight Mate’s Recovery Manual offers a self-directed path to recovery which can be used individually or in the context of a support group. This guide is invaluable for straight spouses working alone or in groups, therapists, counselors, group facilitators, librarians, families of gays/lesbians, and their mates.

Handbook of LGBT Affirmative Couple and Family Therapy

Author: Jerry J. Bigner
Publisher: Routledge
ISBN: 9781136340338
Release Date: 2012-05-04
Genre: Psychology

The editors and contributors of this comprehensive text provide a unique and important contribution to LGBT clinical literature. Spanning 30 chapters, they discuss the diverse and complex issues involved in LGBT couple and family therapy. In almost 15 years, this book provides the first in-depth overview of the best practices for therapists and those in training who wish to work effectively with LGBT clients, couples, and families need to know, and is only the second of its kind in the history of the field. The clinical issues discussed include • raising LGBT children • coming out • elderly LGBT issues • sex therapy • ethical and training issues Because of the breadth of the book, its specificity, and the expertise of the contributing authors and editors, it is the definitive handbook on LGBT couple and family therapy.

Unseen Unheard

Author: Amity Pierce Buxton
Publisher: CCB Publishing
ISBN: 9781771430692
Release Date: 2013-06
Genre: Family & Relationships

When presumably heterosexual spouses turn out to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender, the unexpected revelation overshadows its devastating impact on their straight wives and husbands. "Unseen-Unheard" opens the window on their remarkable journeys from trauma to transformation. What would you do if your husband said he'd fallen in love with a man or thinks he might be gay or bisexual, or you discovered your wife's texts, photos, or emails indicating she has a female lover and wonders if she might be lesbian or bisexual? Well, this happens, a shattering reality that at least two million men and women have faced and tried to understand and accept, even as we were unseen and our voices unheard. Who are we? We are husbands and wives left behind when our spouses came out or after we discovered they were gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. Shocked and paralyzed, swirling in the devastating wake of our beloveds' revelation, we had to pick up unrecognizable pieces of our former lives and try to reconfigure them without much outside support, recognition, or understanding of the depth of the crisis. Yes, straight spouses typically cope alone with unique issues of sexuality, betrayal, and broken belief systems. Slowly, we redefine ourselves, create new lives, affirm the joy of living, and reap life's infinite possibilities. We invite you to walk with us and experience our journey from the first desperate cries of discovery or disclosure to insights and wisdom gained as we resolve our issues and transform our lives. As you observe and listen, we hope you will embrace the courage, creativity, and resilience of our strength, which we didn't know we had, yet was so powerful that lifelong habits were broken and we uniquely and marvelously became who we were meant to be. About the Authors: Amity Pierce Buxton, her Ph.D. from Columbia University, has taught grades pre-school through graduate school. Member of the American Psychological Association, she serves on the editorial boards of the Journal of Bisexuality and the Journal of GLBT Family Studies and on the board of the Catholic Association for Gay and Lesbian Ministry. She wrote "The Other Side of the Closet: the Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families" and founded the worldwide Straight Spouse Network. Currently, she counsels spouses and couples, conducts research, writes articles and chapters, lectures, and gives workshops on all aspects of the impact of a spouse's coming out in a mixed-orientation or transgender/non-transgender marriage. R. L. Pinely writes, "Collaborating with Amity to write this book has been an amazing journey. Absorbing her expertise has been a rare privilege as we lived vicariously through the lives of others and walked in their shoes. As owner of an online support group, I'm so thankful that I have the opportunity every day to pass along her wisdom, insight, experience, and understanding to nearly 3,000 women." Visit the Straight Spouse Network website: www.straightspouse.org

Current Research on Bisexuality

Author: Ronald Fox
Publisher: Routledge
ISBN: 9781136569630
Release Date: 2013-04-03
Genre: Social Science

Current Research on Bisexuality is an important resource on recent psychological and sociological findings in bisexual studies. The authors provide research findings and case studies that add to our understanding of bisexual identity, bisexuality and relationships, bisexuality and ethnicity, and attitudes toward bisexual people. This book examines research findings, literature reviews, and a wealth of resources that currently exist on bisexuality and bisexual issues. This book will bring you up to date on: bisexual identity development bisexuality in college students cross-orientation friendships of bisexual women bisexual married women and men—and their spouses bisexuality and heterosexually married couples monogamous as well as open bisexual relationships the interrelationship of bisexuality, race, and ethnicity attitudes toward bisexual women and bisexual men Current Research on Bisexuality also contains a comprehensive reader’s guide to the current social science literature about bisexuality. This bibliography brings together a wide range of nonfiction books, journal articles, book chapters, theses, and dissertations on bisexuality with a focus in the theoretical, research clinical, and community perspectives that have that have developed in the last twenty years. This reading list is essential for students, educators, researchers, and practitioners in psychology, counseling, social work, psychiatry, education, sociology, and anthropology. Current Research on Bisexuality provides new knowledge of the life experiences of bisexual people. With this book, you’ll find a basis for further research and education about bisexuality in the greater context of ongoing research, education, and advocacy regarding lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender issues.

Finally Out

Author: Loren A. Olson
Publisher: Ingroup Press
ISBN: 1935725033
Release Date: 2011-01-12
Genre: Biography & Autobiography

Includes bibliographical references (p. 239-247).

A Pebble In His Shoe

Author: Dr. Francine Barbetta
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
ISBN: 1453506853
Release Date: 2008-07-23
Genre: Family & Relationships

This is a captivating journey of a picture-perfect marriage and the devastating effects of a quest for self. Taken from Francine’s heart-wrenching diary, we see Francine, an eternal optimist, and Frank, a dedicated husband and father with a pain too deep to ignore any longer, travel the painful path of a straight spouse and a homosexual husband. As Frank’s repressed urges are aroused, he searches to understand his sexuality, while Francine tries to be supportive as she desperately tries to grasp on to what is slowly slipping away. Francine’s passion for forgiveness gives her courage and great strength to help Frank on his quest.

Gay and Lesbian Issues

Author: Chuck Stewart
Publisher: ABC-CLIO
ISBN: 9781851093724
Release Date: 2003
Genre: Reference

Presents an overview, including a chronology of events, of the gay civil rights movement and includes information about court decisions, laws and statutes, prominent people, the positions of major organizations, and other issues related to gay rights.

Women and Therapy in the Last Third of Life

Author: Valory Mitchell
Publisher: Routledge
ISBN: 9781317987307
Release Date: 2013-09-13
Genre: Family & Relationships

What is distinct about the last third of life, about women, that makes psychotherapy different? In this diverse collection, the psychological meanings and challenges of the last third of life are explored, as the capacity of the psyche expands, sense of time changes, and some questions take on new vibrance and urgency. Some chapters shine their light on women therapy clients - on their precarious sociocultural predicament in a sexist/ageist time and place, on intrapsychic changes that follow from changing bodies, relationships, involvements and emergent needs of the self. Other chapters enter the largely unexplored territory of changes in the therapy process itself - where some decide against therapy altogether, while others describe a rich revision of familiar elements of therapy, greater authentic presence, a changed standpoint on the power of the therapeutic relationship. Standing inside the ‘‘last third’’ and looking back on their own lives, several women psychotherapists offer a rare window into their private experience across time and their perspectives on the challenges and the gifts that they, and other women, may realize in the last third of their lives as they consider who they have become, who they are, and who they can be. This book was based on a special issue of Women and Therapy.

Lesbian Family Life Like the Fingers of a Hand

Author: Valory Mitchell
Publisher: Routledge
ISBN: 9781317992196
Release Date: 2013-09-13
Genre: Family & Relationships

In this book, an array of approaches - first person and theoretical accounts, clinical understandings, qualitative and quantitative research - are brought to bear on controversial or under-discussed topics in lesbian family life. From conception all the way to care for elderly parents, this book takes a fresh look at lesbian family relationships. Topics include: butch/femme couples, infidelity, the psychological meaning of family for lesbians, age-discrepant couples, lesbian nuns as family, Listservs as family, intentional family for aging women, women raising sons, mothers who come out late in life, mothers and children in situations of domestic violence, lack of support for lesbian domestic violence survivors, death of a partner, psychological issues in the use of sperm donors or surrogates, and middle-aged lesbians caring for homophobic elderly parents. Some authors use self psychology and Jungian psychology to describe aspects of family life. The richness and diversity of topics makes it a text on "lesbian lives". Therapists and academics from throughout the U.S. have contributed to this collection. Many lesbian women, as well as teachers (it can be a text) and mental health professionals who work with children, families, couples and elderly will find useful material here. This book was published as a special issue of the Journal of Lesbian Studies.

Playing It Straight

Author: Milton E. Ford
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
ISBN: 9781450045155
Release Date: 2009-09-11
Genre: Social Science

Playing It Straight: Gay Men and Heterosexual Marriage Milton E. Ford The words “gay men and straight marriage” raise many questions. Why would a man who knows he’s gay marry a woman? Can a man discover he’s gay after he marries? What is life like for a gay man in a marriage to a woman? Why, having married, would he get divorced? Why might he remain married? And what is the role of society, particularly religion, in this experience? Playing It Straight answers these and many other questions by examining common themes that emerge from interviews with men from many areas of the United States who are gay, or predominantly gay, and who married women. In face-to-face taped interviews, the men talk about the way they see themselves now, what their childhood and teen years were like, their experiences leading up to marriage, what the marriages were like, and how those marriages are continuing or how they ended. The book looks at where the men are now and the meaning they now make of their marriages to women. The topical arrangement of the book makes it a valuable resource for anyone interested in a deeper understanding of the realities that often emerge for a gay man when he marries a woman.

How It Feels to Have a Gay Or Lesbian Parent

Author: Judith E. Snow
Publisher: Routledge
ISBN: 9781135023065
Release Date: 2013-04-15
Genre: Family & Relationships

In their own words, children of different ages talk about how and when they learned of their gay or lesbian parent's sexual orientation and the effect it has had on them.

Sons Talk About Their Gay Fathers

Author: Andrew Gottlieb
Publisher: Routledge
ISBN: 9781317712961
Release Date: 2014-01-14
Genre: Social Science

Examine the impact of disclosure on sons whose fathers are gay! In this book, Andrew Gottlieb, author of Out of the Twilight: Fathers of Gay Men Speak, explores yet another side of the impact of homosexuality on families. He now looks at how sons react to learning that their fathers are gay, allowing us to see, over time, how this has changed their family relationships and their own lives. Simply and elegantly written, this psychoanalytically oriented qualitative research study is accessible to both the beginner and the more advanced researcher and practitioner. It draws from a wide range of literary, popular, and psychological sources and includes an interview guide, a reference section, and an index. “When someone discloses as gay, lesbian, or bisexual, it is not just an individual event. It is a family event. Based on estimates of married gay, lesbian, and bisexual persons, a spouse's coming out affects up to 2,000,000 couples. Yet, its impact has been largely ignored. Children’s voices are the least often heard. . . . Little has been written about sons of fathers who came out during or after marriage. Data for studies that do exist most often draw from the fathers' point of view. . . . The significance of this study lies in its comprehensive, detailed picture of sons and gay fathers as they develop their separate self-images as well as the images of their son-father relationships over time. Painful, sensitive, often triumphant, the stories and [the author’s] analysis of their thoughts, perceptions, and feelings afford a multidimensional, longitudinal viewing. Step by step, we follow the complicated dance of these sons and fathers as they develop and define their connection.” —from the Foreword by Amity Pierce Buxton, Author of The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families Sons Talk About Their Gay Fathers: Life Curves is a storybook—an extended narrative moved along, but not overshadowed, by psychoanalytic theory. The Introduction briefly reviews more recent writings of the fathering experience as told by gay men themselves, setting the stage for: “Father to Child”—a look at the father as seen through the ever-shifting eyes of his son at different phases of the life cycle “The Quest for the Real Father”—an examination of sons' responses to their fathers' homosexuality as captured in film, fiction, nonfiction, television, and the psychological literature “Methodology”—the story of the research process, including sampling, the search for subjects, trustworthiness, the interview, bias, and data collection “The Stories”—an anthology of narratives the author constructed from the interview material, painting an intimate portrait of each individual son “Findings”—a categorical analysis “Discussion”—a summary of all the preceding material cast in a developmental framework, highlighting implications for future research and clinical practice

You Can t Have Him He s Mine

Author: Marie H. Browne
Publisher: Adams Media
ISBN: 159869121X
Release Date: 2007-04-02
Genre: Social Science

Any marriage or long-lasting relationship can be susceptible to being broken apart by an affair. This text shows wives and significant others how to protect their relationships, describing what goes on in the other woman's head.