Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-selling series to read. But if you insist on discovering the unpleasant adventures of the Baudelaire orphans, then proceed with caution... Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The Reptile Room the siblings endure a car accident, a terrible smell, a deadly serpent, a long knife, a brass reading lamp, and the re-appearance of a person they'd hoped never to see again. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, A Series of Unfortunate Events has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All The Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: 'Who Could That Be at This Hour?' 'When Did you Last See Her?' 'Shouldn't You Be in School?' 'Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.
Dear Reader, If you have not read anything about the Baudelaire orphans, then before you read even one more sentence, you should know this: Violet, Klaus, and Sunny are kindhearted and quick-witted, but their lives, I am sorry to say, are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy and wretched, and this one may be the worst of them all.If you haven't got the stomach for a story that includes a hurricane, a signalling device, hungry leeches, cold cucumber soup, a horrible villain, and a doll named Pretty Penny, then this book will probably fill you with despair.I will continue to record these tragic tales, for that is what I do. You, however, should decide for yourself whether you can possibly endure this miserable story. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket
With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children’s authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.
Dear Wall Enthusiast, If you are looking for some sort of decoration for the walls of your home or cell, you have picked up the wrong item entirely. Not only is this poster book far too heavy to be nailed to a wall, the images it contains are extremely depressing. This book contains nothing but unnecessarily large photographs of distressing moments in the miserable lives of the three Baudelaire siblings. Even if you flip through the book as quickly as possible, you are likely to see images of a burnt-down house, a deadly snake, a bad play, and a notorious villain in a variety of badly tailored disguises. Your blank walls would be better off covered with a tapestry, a word which here means "an ugly piece of cloth too thin to use as a blanket and too large to use as a napkin." I will spend the rest of my life staring at images like these in the cavernous room of my mind. You, however, are free to find more cheerful posters, perhaps displaying a fuzzy cat, a basket full of puppies, or a handful of flowers arranged in some sort of vase. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES A Warning from the Publisher: Would you rather sprain your ankle, bruise your hip, and lose a toe to frostbite on the same day? Or would you rather have these accidents happen on three different days? This electronic collection of volumes seven through nine in A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket is the e-equivalent of having three ghastly accidents right in a row. Contained here are such unpleasantries as kidnapping, disguise, murder, paperwork, another disguise, heart-shaped balloons, false allegations, stiletto heels, a shattered crystal ball, a cryptic map, an irritating song, and quite a few more disguises, all bundled together into a continuous barrage of horror and dismay. The more sensible approach would be to read The Vile Village, The Hostile Hospital, and The Carnivorous Carnival months or even years apart from one another, so you have time to recuperate from the misery each volume offers—or better yet, to turn your eyes away from Mr. Snicket's work and find an electronic experience that would cause you no distress whatsoever.
Author: Lemony Snicket
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
Release Date: 2015-09-29
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
Train travel! Murder! Librarians! A Series Finale! On all other nights, the train departs from Stain'd Station and travels to the city without stopping. But not tonight. You might ask, why is this night different from all other nights? But that's the wrong question. Instead ask, where is this all heading? And what happens at the end of the line? The final book in Lemony Snicket's bestselling series, All the Wrong Questions.
'If you are interested in stories with happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book.' Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire are most unfortunate children. Orphaned after the sudden death of their parents in a house fire, they are left in the hands of their guardian, Count Olaf, who has diabolical plans for them . . . 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' has sold more than 60 million copies worldwide, has been translated into 41 languages and was adapted into a 2004 film starring Jim Carrey. 'Wicked good fun' - Kirkus Reviews
Wake up, Dad! We've got a big day ahead! Frankie and her little sister, Violet, are excited to be out and about with Dad! From pancakes to puppies to a super-duper surprise, the order of the day is F-U-N. The gifted actress, author, and mother Brooke Shields pairs with the delightful Cori Doerrfeld for this joyful book about dads and daughters and the love they share.
There is nothing to be found in the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on . . . There are many pleasant things to read about, but The Hostile Hospital contains none of them. Within its pages are such burdensome details as a suspicious shopkeeper, unnecessary surgery, heartshaped balloons, and some very startling news about a fire. Clearly you do not want to read about such things. With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children’s authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.
Author: A. R. R. R. Roberts
Publisher: Hachette UK
Release Date: 2012-09-18
Bingo Grabbins is a soddit who enjoys a comfortable life (apart from his feet, of course). But his contentment is disturbed when the wizard, Gandef, and a company of bizarrely Welsh dwarves drag him away on an adventure. They have a plot to raid the treasure hoard (or so they say) guarded by Smug, a large and very tedious dragon. Bingo is reluctant to take part in this insane venture, but a dwarven dagger held to his throat soon surprises even himself and off the companions go on a quest that seems truly epic (well, until you read about what later happened to Bingo's cousin, at any rate). Oh, and Bingo finds this ring thing...