Author: Ian Allen
Publisher: Pavilion Books
Release Date: 2013-08-08
Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling very well! Proving the age-old maxim that its in the way that you tell them, Dads for the best part of forever have always been renowned for being truly god-awful joke tellers. Whether its telling them at the wrong moment, misremembering the punchline or it just simply being one of those jokes that were terrible to begin with, Dads are an embarrassment to the whole family when it comes to trying to tell jokes. The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes is full to the brim with jokes that only your dear old Dad would dare say jokes that will make you groan, sigh ... and then probably make you groan again. Dads take great pleasure in these kinds of jokes and some of them are so rubbish they actually blossom into proper rib-ticklers but dont tell your dad that, itll only encourage him!
Author: Ian Allen
Publisher: Pavilion Books
Release Date: 2015-06-04
What happened to the man with five legs? His trousers fit him like a glove.You can’t keep a good Dad joke down. At the Sunday lunch table, down the pub, at the workplace, dads all over the nation are still churning out the lamest, most pathetic jokes you’ve ever heard. And we’ve gathered them all in this book. Back by popular demand, Extremely Embarrassing Dad Jokes is an all-new collection of Dad joke favourites. With 1000 rib-tickling jokes for every occasion, this book makes it easier than ever to have a laugh - or, more likely, a groan - with Dad.Who drives round the West Country in a camper van? Tess of the Dormobiles.What do angry mice send one another in winter? Cross-mouse cards.
He listened to vinyl before you did. He drank whiskey before you did. He had a mustache before you did. Admit it: your dad was a hipster before you were! Based on the blog phenomenon of the same name, this book celebrates dads as the original hipsters. Vintage photos of real dads back in the day—in their short shorts and tight tees playing arcade games—accompany snarky captions that at once tip a cap to Dad's glory days and poke fun at modern hipsters. Featuring tons of never-before-seen content, this is the perfect gift for dads, hipsters, and those who love to tease them!
Author: Ian Allen
Publisher: Pavilion Books
Release Date: 2013-06-14
What do you call a decomposing whale? Mouldy Dick. And that joke sums up, somewhat poorly, the 999 other jokes in Crap Dad Jokes. This is not a joke book that will make most people laugh. It is designed purely for dear ol' Dad. Following hot on the humorous heels of Porticos Very Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes comes this awful sequel for your parental amusement. Crammed with 1000 jokes that will make your silly Dad roll all over on the floor laughing, this book is guaranteed to really annoy the rest of the family. In fact, the jokes are so bad, you'll probably want to tear the book up and feed it to the dog. With that said and done, it's the perfect present for Father's Day and your dad. Because he's worth it. What athlete is warmest in the winter? A long jumper.
Author: Ian Allen
Release Date: 2014-06-05
It's official: dads were put onto this planet to embarrass the rest of their families. This hilarious book is a spotter's guide to the innumerable ways Dad can achieve this, whether it's via ridiculous dancing, experimental facial hair, cringeworthy sportswear or putting his foot in it at funerals. Contains a wealth of highly useful information for the discerning dad, including countdowns of the most embarrassing things Dads say in wedding speeches, the fashion fads Dad really shouldn't have bothered with and the 10 signs that Dad is having a midlife crisis, plus a handy diagrammatic guide to dancing like a dad and Dad's guides to travel, cleaning, hobbies, oneupmanship and many things besides. With all this plus a liberal scattering of charts, lists and jokes and illustrated with action shots of dads doing the things they love to do, this book is ideal for the dad in your life, or for any unsuspecting man who's about to become one.
Author: Simon Rose
Release Date: 2008-11-26
Genre: Family & Relationships
An all-encompassing guide to entertaining, amazing, and possibly even educating children, Be the Coolest Dad on the Block provides the perfect excuse to stand on a balloon, play with grated cheese in the microwave, and unroll an entire roll of toilet paper, all in the name of spending time with your kids. Written by a comedy writer and a cartoonist with thirty years’ combined experience as dads, Be the Coolest Dad on the Block is a cornucopia of practical parenting advice, like how to skip stones or teach a kid to ride a bike. It has answers to the pesky questions kids love, such as “Why is the sky blue?” or “Where do babies come from?” And it can help dads entertain large groups of kids with slapstick gags (“burp the alphabet”) or cool tricks (“the hole in the head”). Be the Coolest Dad on the Block also contains spooky myths for telling around the campfire and loads of quizzes and jokes for rainy days or endless car rides. With a range of ideas to suit all situations and sensibilities, Be the Coolest Dad on the Block gives any dad the right stuff to be the wackiest and smartest guy in the room. From the Trade Paperback edition.
Face it: You were awesome when you were a kid. You feared nothing. You spoke your mind. You tried new things. You had imagination. Now you play by the rules, dress appropriately, and choose politeness over self-expression. Well, life's too short for that and this book proves it. Vintage photographs of real kids doing awesome stuff—wearing footie pj's, eating sugar cereal, napping, and showing off— accompany witty captions that poke fun at the doldrums of adult life and remind us to unleash our inner kid. With a hilarious dose of 80s and 90s nostalgia, just enough snark, and an ultimately uplifting message, I Was an Awesomer Kid is a great gift for all who are young at heart . . . or wish they still were!
Jim Gaffigan never imagined he would have his own kids. Though he grew up in a large Irish-Catholic family, Jim was satisfied with the nomadic, nocturnal life of a standup comedian, and was content to be "that weird uncle who lives in an apartment by himself in New York that everyone in the family speculates about." But all that changed when he married and found out his wife, Jeannie "is someone who gets pregnant looking at babies." Five kids later, the comedian whose riffs on everything from Hot Pockets to Jesus have scored millions of hits on YouTube, started to tweet about the mistakes and victories of his life as a dad. Those tweets struck such a chord that he soon passed the million followers mark. But it turns out 140 characters are not enough to express all the joys and horrors of life with five kids, so hes' now sharing it all in Dad Is Fat. From new parents to empty nesters to Jim's twenty-something fans, everyone will recognize their own families in these hilarious takes on everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to growing up in a big family ("I always assumed my father had six children so he could have a sufficient lawn crew") to changing diapers in the middle of the night ("like The Hurt Locker but much more dangerous") to bedtime (aka "Negotiating with Terrorists"). Dad is Fat is sharply observed, explosively funny, and a cry for help from a man who has realized he and his wife are outnumbered in their own home.
Come to Daddy Depot: The Dad Megastore! From Acrobats to Zookeepers, we have the perfect dad for you! Exchange your old dad for a brand-new one . . . TODAY! Lizzie loves her dad, but he tells the same old jokes, falls asleep during story time, and gets distracted by football while Lizzie does her ballet twirls. When she sees an ad for a store called Daddy Depot, she decides to check it out—and finds dads of all kinds! Will Lizzie find the perfect dad? Join her on this sweet and silly adventure that celebrates fathers with lots of love.
Author: Editors of Portable Press
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Release Date: 2017-09-01
Dad's comedy arsenal is about to get a huge upgrade...to the relief of everyone around him! Put an end to courtesy laughs and awkward silences with the jokes in this book! From the people who brought you Uncle John's Bathroom Reader, this is an eclectic collection of the punniest, funniest, most outrageous knee-slappers that have ever been told! At work, at home, at the game—Dad will beat them all to the punch...line, that is! He'll be hip and humorous with totally bodacious jokes like these: *Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time, too! *Why is Christmas just like another day in the office? Because you do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit! *Dad: "I wouldn't want to be buried in this graveyard." Kid: "Why not?" Dad: "Because I'm not dead yet!" And many more!
In this New York Times bestselling memoir, the announcer of the biggest sporting events in the country—including the 2017 Super Bowl and this century's most-watched, historic, Chicago Cubs–winning World Series—reveals why he is one lucky bastard. Sports fans see Joe Buck everywhere: broadcasting one of the biggest games in the NFL every week, calling the World Series every year, announcing the Super Bowl every three years. They know his father, Jack Buck, is a broadcasting legend and that he was beloved in his adopted hometown of St. Louis. Yet they have no idea who Joe really is. Or how he got here. They don’t know how he almost blew his career. They haven’t read his funniest and most embarrassing stories or heard about his interactions with the biggest sports stars of this era. They don’t know how hard he can laugh at himself—or that he thinks some of his critics have a point. And they don’t know what it was really like to grow up in his father’s shadow. Joe and Jack were best friends, but it wasn’t that simple. Jack, the voice of the St. Louis Cardinals for almost fifty years, helped Joe get his broadcasting start at eighteen. But Joe had to prove himself, first as a minor league radio announcer and then on local TV, national TV with ESPN, and then finally on FOX. He now has a successful, Emmy-winning career, but only after a lot of dues-paying, learning, and pretty damn entertaining mistakes that are recounted in this book. In his memoir, Joe takes us through his life on and off the field. He shares the lessons he learned from his father, the errors he made along the way, and the personal mountain he climbed and conquered, all of which have truly made him a Lucky Bastard.
Exciting News! Mr Fullerman announces that class 5F are going on an 'Activity Break'! Which should be fun. As long as I don't get stuck in a group with anyone who snores or worse still with . . . . . . Marcus Meldrew.
Author: Elias Hill
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
Release Date: 2017-07-20
Dad jokes. They make you cringe, they make you groan but the one thing they have in common is they come from dad. Be it during a wedding toast or when introducing your dad to someone you want to impress, dad never fails to insert a dad joke wherever he can. This dad joke book makes a great gift for the dad who has everything and has heard everything. Or maybe you want to buy it for yourself and come prepared the next time dad wants to have a joke off. In any event, 101 So Bad, They're Good Dad Jokes will have your eyes rolling into the back of your head faster than dad can strip to his tighty-whities on a hot summer day!
Everybody appreciates a good dad joke. Dad jokes are friendly little jokes that the whole family can enjoy, often focusing on puns and wordplay. Some people enjoy them because they find them to be genuinely funny, while others enjoy them because they can't believe just how awful they are! Over the years, dad's have perfected the art of this inoffensive, positive style of joke as a way of entertaining both adults and kids alike. This book honors this style of humor by offering some of the best dad jokes around, guaranteed to make everyone you know either laugh or roll their eyes! How did the stupid dad get time off of work? He applied for thick leave! What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight? Sir Render! See the rest inside!