The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes

Author: Ian Allen
Publisher: Pavilion Books
ISBN: 9781909396098
Release Date: 2013-08-08
Genre: Humor

Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling very well! Proving the age-old maxim that its in the way that you tell them, Dads for the best part of forever have always been renowned for being truly god-awful joke tellers. Whether its telling them at the wrong moment, misremembering the punchline or it just simply being one of those jokes that were terrible to begin with, Dads are an embarrassment to the whole family when it comes to trying to tell jokes. The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes is full to the brim with jokes that only your dear old Dad would dare say jokes that will make you groan, sigh ... and then probably make you groan again. Dads take great pleasure in these kinds of jokes and some of them are so rubbish they actually blossom into proper rib-ticklers but dont tell your dad that, itll only encourage him!

Extremely Embarrassing Dad Jokes

Author: Ian Allen
Publisher: Pavilion Books
ISBN: 9781910232583
Release Date: 2015-06-04
Genre: Humor

What happened to the man with five legs? His trousers fit him like a glove.You can’t keep a good Dad joke down. At the Sunday lunch table, down the pub, at the workplace, dads all over the nation are still churning out the lamest, most pathetic jokes you’ve ever heard. And we’ve gathered them all in this book. Back by popular demand, Extremely Embarrassing Dad Jokes is an all-new collection of Dad joke favourites. With 1000 rib-tickling jokes for every occasion, this book makes it easier than ever to have a laugh - or, more likely, a groan - with Dad.Who drives round the West Country in a camper van? Tess of the Dormobiles.What do angry mice send one another in winter? Cross-mouse cards.

Dad Is Fat

Author: Jim Gaffigan
Publisher: Crown Archetype
ISBN: 9780385349055
Release Date: 2013
Genre: Humor

The popular comedian and actor shares his misadventures as an unlikely father of five, presenting full-length accounts of the experiences referenced in his popular tweets, from his formative years in a large Irish-Catholic family, to his middle-of-the-night diaper-changing foibles, to his struggles to lull tyrannical tots to sleep.

Dads Are the Original Hipsters

Author: Brad Getty
Publisher: Chronicle Books
ISBN: 9781452108858
Release Date: 2012-04-18
Genre: Family & Relationships

He listened to vinyl before you did. He drank whiskey before you did. He had a mustache before you did. Admit it: your dad was a hipster before you were! Based on the blog phenomenon of the same name, this book celebrates dads as the original hipsters. Vintage photos of real dads back in the day—in their short shorts and tight tees playing arcade games—accompany snarky captions that at once tip a cap to Dad's glory days and poke fun at modern hipsters. Featuring tons of never-before-seen content, this is the perfect gift for dads, hipsters, and those who love to tease them!

Crap Dad Jokes

Author: Ian Allen
Publisher: Pavilion Books
ISBN: 9781909396364
Release Date: 2013-06-14
Genre: Humor

What do you call a decomposing whale? Mouldy Dick. And that joke sums up, somewhat poorly, the 999 other jokes in Crap Dad Jokes. This is not a joke book that will make most people laugh. It is designed purely for dear ol' Dad. Following hot on the humorous heels of Porticos Very Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes comes this awful sequel for your parental amusement. Crammed with 1000 jokes that will make your silly Dad roll all over on the floor laughing, this book is guaranteed to really annoy the rest of the family. In fact, the jokes are so bad, you'll probably want to tear the book up and feed it to the dog. With that said and done, it's the perfect present for Father's Day and your dad. Because he's worth it. What athlete is warmest in the winter? A long jumper.

Dad Dancing

Author: Ian Allen
Publisher: Portico
ISBN: 1909396567
Release Date: 2014-06-05
Genre: Humor

It's official: dads were put onto this planet to embarrass the rest of their families. This hilarious book is a spotter's guide to the innumerable ways Dad can achieve this, whether it's via ridiculous dancing, experimental facial hair, cringeworthy sportswear or putting his foot in it at funerals. Contains a wealth of highly useful information for the discerning dad, including countdowns of the most embarrassing things Dads say in wedding speeches, the fashion fads Dad really shouldn't have bothered with and the 10 signs that Dad is having a midlife crisis, plus a handy diagrammatic guide to dancing like a dad and Dad's guides to travel, cleaning, hobbies, oneupmanship and many things besides. With all this plus a liberal scattering of charts, lists and jokes and illustrated with action shots of dads doing the things they love to do, this book is ideal for the dad in your life, or for any unsuspecting man who's about to become one.

Be the Coolest Dad on the Block

Author: Simon Rose
Publisher: Harmony
ISBN: 9780307482013
Release Date: 2008-11-26
Genre: Family & Relationships

An all-encompassing guide to entertaining, amazing, and possibly even educating children, Be the Coolest Dad on the Block provides the perfect excuse to stand on a balloon, play with grated cheese in the microwave, and unroll an entire roll of toilet paper, all in the name of spending time with your kids. Written by a comedy writer and a cartoonist with thirty years’ combined experience as dads, Be the Coolest Dad on the Block is a cornucopia of practical parenting advice, like how to skip stones or teach a kid to ride a bike. It has answers to the pesky questions kids love, such as “Why is the sky blue?” or “Where do babies come from?” And it can help dads entertain large groups of kids with slapstick gags (“burp the alphabet”) or cool tricks (“the hole in the head”). Be the Coolest Dad on the Block also contains spooky myths for telling around the campfire and loads of quizzes and jokes for rainy days or endless car rides. With a range of ideas to suit all situations and sensibilities, Be the Coolest Dad on the Block gives any dad the right stuff to be the wackiest and smartest guy in the room. From the Trade Paperback edition.

I Was an Awesomer Kid

Author: Brad Getty
Publisher: Chronicle Books
ISBN: 9781452149165
Release Date: 2015-04-07
Genre: Humor

Face it: You were awesome when you were a kid. You feared nothing. You spoke your mind. You tried new things. You had imagination. Now you play by the rules, dress appropriately, and choose politeness over self-expression. Well, life's too short for that and this book proves it. Vintage photographs of real kids doing awesome stuff—wearing footie pj's, eating sugar cereal, napping, and showing off— accompany witty captions that poke fun at the doldrums of adult life and remind us to unleash our inner kid. With a hilarious dose of 80s and 90s nostalgia, just enough snark, and an ultimately uplifting message, I Was an Awesomer Kid is a great gift for all who are young at heart . . . or wish they still were!

Dad Jokes The Punniest Joke Book Ever

Author: Editors of Portable Press
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 9781684120079
Release Date: 2017-09-01
Genre: Humor

Dad's comedy arsenal is about to get a huge upgrade...to the relief of everyone around him! Put an end to courtesy laughs and awkward silences with the jokes in this book! From the people who brought you Uncle John's Bathroom Reader, this is an eclectic collection of the punniest, funniest, most outrageous knee-slappers that have ever been told! At work, at home, at the game—Dad will beat them all to the punch...line, that is! He'll be hip and humorous with totally bodacious jokes like these: *Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time, too! *Why is Christmas just like another day in the office? Because you do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit! *Dad: "I wouldn't want to be buried in this graveyard." Kid: "Why not?" Dad: "Because I'm not dead yet!" And many more!

Dad Disasters

Author: Ian Allen
Publisher: Pavilion Books
ISBN: 9781911042518
Release Date: 2016-05-12
Genre: Humor

Disasters are terrible things: the sinking of the Titanic, the crash of the Hindenburg, the collapse of the Tay Bridge, etc. – not funny at all. But Dad Disasters are a completely different kettle of fishfingers. From DIY debacles to motoring mishaps, your typical Dad is highly skilled in putting his foot in it in a variety of hilarious ways. Dad Disasters contains a wealth of stories from around the world illustrating the daft things Dads can get up to without even trying, and the disastrous situations famous Dads have created. Plus, a collection of the silliest things ever done by ordinary Dads to put their own stamp on family history. And, of course, no book for Dads would be complete without a sprinkling of jokes old and new about dopey Dads and their travails. Whether the Dad in your life is a seasoned veteran with all the campaign medals or a terrified new recruit who still doesn’t which way up the baby goes, this is the perfect book for him.

Daddy Depot

Author: Chana Stiefel
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends
ISBN: 9781250167576
Release Date: 2017-05-16
Genre: Juvenile Fiction

Come to Daddy Depot: The Dad Megastore! From Acrobats to Zookeepers, we have the perfect dad for you! Exchange your old dad for a brand-new one . . . TODAY! Lizzie loves her dad, but he tells the same old jokes, falls asleep during story time, and gets distracted by football while Lizzie does her ballet twirls. When she sees an ad for a store called Daddy Depot, she decides to check it out—and finds dads of all kinds! Will Lizzie find the perfect dad? Join her on this sweet and silly adventure that celebrates fathers with lots of love.

Lucky Bastard

Author: Joe Buck
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 9781101984574
Release Date: 2016-11-15
Genre: Biography & Autobiography

In this New York Times bestselling memoir, the announcer of the biggest sporting events in the country—including the 2017 Super Bowl and this century's most-watched, historic, Chicago Cubs–winning World Series—reveals why he is one lucky bastard. Sports fans see Joe Buck everywhere: broadcasting one of the biggest games in the NFL every week, calling the World Series every year, announcing the Super Bowl every three years. They know his father, Jack Buck, is a broadcasting legend and that he was beloved in his adopted hometown of St. Louis. Yet they have no idea who Joe really is. Or how he got here. They don’t know how he almost blew his career. They haven’t read his funniest and most embarrassing stories or heard about his interactions with the biggest sports stars of this era. They don’t know how hard he can laugh at himself—or that he thinks some of his critics have a point. And they don’t know what it was really like to grow up in his father’s shadow. Joe and Jack were best friends, but it wasn’t that simple. Jack, the voice of the St. Louis Cardinals for almost fifty years, helped Joe get his broadcasting start at eighteen. But Joe had to prove himself, first as a minor league radio announcer and then on local TV, national TV with ESPN, and then finally on FOX. He now has a successful, Emmy-winning career, but only after a lot of dues-paying, learning, and pretty damn entertaining mistakes that are recounted in this book. In his memoir, Joe takes us through his life on and off the field. He shares the lessons he learned from his father, the errors he made along the way, and the personal mountain he climbed and conquered, all of which have truly made him a Lucky Bastard.

Be Glad Your Dad Is Not an Octopus

Author: Matthew Logelin
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
ISBN: 9780316392549
Release Date: 2016-05-03
Genre: Juvenile Fiction

Be glad your dad is not a dog, because he would lick your face to say hello! Most of the time, you're glad your dad is your dad, until he gets grouchy, bossy, or just totally gross. Then you wish you could swap him for something else. But be careful what you wish for, because it could be way worse.... In this silly what-if story, kids will roar with laughter at the misadventures of a monkey dad, an alligator dad, a whale dad, and even a unicorn dad! But nothing can replace the dads who love them more than anything in the whole wide world. Be sure to check out the fun facts about the animals in the story in the back of the book!

I m Sorry Love Your Husband

Author: Clint Edwards
Publisher: Page Street Publishing
ISBN: 9781624145339
Release Date: 2018-05-01
Genre: Humor

Marriage and Kids are No Joke He may not win Father of the Year, but Clint Edwards has won the hearts of thousands— including the New York Times, Scary Mommy and Good Morning America—thanks to his candor and irreverence when it comes to raising kids, being married and learning from his mistakes. Clint has three children: Tristan (the know it all), Norah (the snarky princess), and Aspen (the worst roommate ever). He describes parenting as “a million different gears turning in a million different directions, all of them covered in sour milk.” In this inspiring and unconventional book of essays, he sheds light on the darker yet hilarious side of domestic life. Owning up to all his mishaps and dumbassery, Edwards shares essays on just about every topic fellow spouses and parents can appreciate, including: stupid things he’s said to his pregnant wife, the trauma of taking a toddler shopping, revelations on buying a minivan and the struggle to not fight the nosy neighbor (who is five years old). Clint’s funny, heartwarming account of the terrifying yet completely rewarding life of a parent is a breath of fresh air. Each essay in I’m Sorry...Love, Your Husband will have you thinking finally, someone gets it.