How to deal with interpersonal conflict--from a Zen perspective. The people who get under your skin the most can in fact be your greatest teachers. It’s not a matter of overlooking differences, as is often taught, but of regarding those difficult aspects of the relationship with curiosity and compassion--for those very differences offer a path to profound connection. Diane Hamilton’s practical, reality-based guide to living harmoniously with even your most irritating fellow humans—spouses, partners, colleagues, parents, children--shows that “getting along” is really a matter of discovering that our differences are nothing other than an expression of our even deeper shared unity.
"A minicourse in how to deal with interpersonal conflict--from a Zen perspective. With her book, her hugely popular online courses, and her workshops at venues throughout the US and the world, Diane Musho Hamilton is one of the most highly visible of experts on conflict management--with good reason: her methods, which combine Zen wisdom with principles from Ken Wilber's Integral Theory and her own extensive experience in conflict resolution, really work. In this new book, she turns her attention to one of the main places conflict manifests: in intimate relationships. She provides a very practical guide to navigating conflict in love and to coming to satisfying outcomes where both partners feel heard and have their needs honored. The book can be thought of as a kind of relationship "first aid kit," but also as something all couples should read in order to foster a harmonious and respectful loving relationship"--
Conflict is going to be a part of your life—as long as you have relationships, a job, or dry cleaning to be picked up. Bracing yourself against it won’t make it go away, but if you approach it consciously, you can navigate it in way that not only honors everyone involved but makes it a source of deep insight as well. Seasoned mediator Diane Hamilton provides the skill set you need to engage conflict with wisdom and compassion, and even—sometimes—to be grateful for it. She teaches us how to: • Cultivate the mirror-like quality of attention as your base • Identify three personal conflict styles and determine which ones you fall into • Recognize the three fundamental perspectives in any conflict situation and learn to inhabit each of them • Turn conflicts in families, at work, and in every kind of interpersonal situation into win-win situations Her unique approach unites Zen wisdom and Integral Spirituality with her own story and her experiences as a professional mediator in a way that shows you how to look at conflict in a new way: as an essentially spiritual practice.
Good communiation is essential to any healthy relationship, whether it's between spouses, family members, friends, or co-workers. In this book Susan Chapman, a marriage and family therapist and a longtime meditation teacher, explains how mindfulness can be brought to bear in the way we speak and listen to each other so that we can strengthen our connections and better accomplish our goals. Drawing on Buddhist principles and on her training as a psychotherapist, Chapman explains how the practice of mindfulness—learning to become fully present in the moment—makes it possible for us to listen more deeply to others and to develop greater clarity and confidence about how to respond. Chapman highlights five key elements of mindful communication: silence, mirroring, encouraging, discerning, and responding, and she dedicates a chapter of the book to each. Other topics include identifying your communication patterns and habits; uncovering the hidden fears that often sabotage communication; staying open in the midst of difficult conversations so that we can respond wisely and skillfully; and learning how mindful communication can help us to become more truthful, compassionate, and flexible in our relationships.
A lighthearted and inspiring dialogue between the Oscar-winning actor and his long-time spiritual guru explores the challenges of Bridges' Hollywood career and the ways in which Zen teachings have informed his efforts to do good in the modern world. Reprint.
We can use whatever life presents, Ezra Bayda teaches, to strengthen our spiritual practice—including the turmoil of daily life. What we need is the willingness to just be with our experiences—whether they are painful or pleasing—opening ourselves to the reality of our lives without trying to fix or change anything. But doing this requires that we confront our most deeply rooted fears and assumptions in order to gradually become free of the constrictions and suffering they create. Then we can awaken to the loving-kindness that is at the heart of our being. While many books aspire to bring meditation into everyday experience, Being Zen gives us practical ways to actually do it, introducing techniques that enable the reader to foster qualities essential to continued spiritual awakening. Topics include how to cultivate: • Perseverance: staying with anger, fear, and other distressing emotions. • Stillness: abiding with chaotic experiences without becoming overwhelmed. • Clarity: seeing through the conditioned beliefs and fears that "run" us. • Direct experience: encountering the physical reality of the present moment—even when that moment is exactly where we don't want to be. Like Pema Chödrön, the best-selling author of When Things Fall Apart, Ezra Bayda writes with clear, heartfelt simplicity, using his own life stories to illustrate the teachings in an immediate and accessible way that will appeal to a broad spectrum of readers.
Cutting-edge science and spirituality tell us that what we believe, think, and feel actually determine the makeup of our body at the cellular level. In Zen and the Art of Happiness, you will learn how to think and feel so that what you think and feel creates happiness and vibrancy in your life rather than gloominess or depression. You'll learn how to adapt to life's inevitable changes, how to deal with stress in a healthy way, and how to nurture a mindful happiness in your daily life. Most importantly, the gentle wisdom of Zen and the Art of Happiness will show you how to invite magnificent experiences into your life and create a personal philosophy that will sustain you through anything. A timeless work about the art of happiness, the way of happiness, the inner game of happiness.
According to legend, when the founder of Zen Buddhism was asked about the main principle of his holy teaching, he replied that there was "nothing holy about it!" Now, a millennium and a half later, Tim Burkett reveals how and why the wisdom of nonholiness is the key to a joyful heart. You don’t need to go looking for something sacred—the happiness you seek is right where you are. In this book, a concise summary of Zen teachings unfolds within the ordinary comedies and tragedies of everyday life, beginning with the delightful nonholiness Burkett experienced in the presence of his original teacher, Shunyru Suzuki.
TV, radio, traffic, telephones, pagers - our minds are bombarded daily by constant noise and clutter. No wonder so many people find it increasingly difficult to listen and comprehend. Simple pieces of information such as names go "in one ear and out the other." Poor listening may have tragic consequences such as the Challenger disaster and the Potomac River crash of 1982, or it can result in smaller tragedies such as lost promotions, stalled marriages, and troubled children. Rebecca Shafir assures us that we can transform every aspect of our lives, simply by relearning how to listen. The Zen of Listening is grounded in the Zen concept of mindfulness, a simple yet profound way of learning how to filter our distractions and be totally in the present. Rather than a list of tricks, this book is an all-encompassing approach allowing you to transform your life. Readers will be amazed at how simply learning to focus intently on a speaker improves the relationship, increases attention span, and helps develop negotiating skills. Learn the great barricades of misunderstanding, find out how to listen to ourselves, discover how to listen under stress, and boost our memory. This is a fun and practical guide filled with simple strategies to use immediately to enjoy our personal and professional lives to the fullest.
Author: Mel Ash
Publisher: Open Road Media
Release Date: 2014-07-29
A practical synthesis of AA’s Twelve Steps and Zen’s Eightfold Path. In this compelling blend of East and West, Mel Ash shows how Zen mind and practice connect to the heart of recovery. Courageously drawing from his lifetime of experience as an abused child, alcoholic, Zen student, and dharma teacher, Ash presents a practical synthesis of Alcoholics Anonymous’s Twelve Steps and Zen’s Eightfold Path. You don’t have to be Buddhist to appreciate the healing power of The Zen of Recovery. The book makes Zen available to all seeking to improve the quality of their spiritual and everyday lives. It also includes practical instructions on how to meditate and put the book into action. Its message will help readers live more profoundly “one day at a time.”
Many books have been published in recent years on happiness. Ezra Bayda, a remarkably down-to-earth Zen teacher, believes that the happiness "boom" has been largely a bust for readers. Why? Because it's precisely the pursuit of happiness that keeps us trapped in cycles of dissatisfaction and suffering. Bayda offers alternatives to achieve the deepest, most lasting form of happiness through Zen insights and simple mindfulness practices. Most of us continually seek happiness in things that are external to us. We imagine that getting more money, a better relationship, or going on a nice vacation will finally make us happy. But Zen teacher Ezra Bayda shows us that it is only by dropping our pursuit of happiness and learning to surrender to what actually is--surrendering to the truth of our lived experience--that we can find the deepest and most lasting form of happiness.
Parenting, while simply amazing, is one of the most exhausting and challenging paths we can choose. As parents, we are under more pressure than ever to keep up with today's ever-changing "standards." We are expected to be encouraging, respectful, calm, and energetic all the while acting as teachers, master negotiators, psychiatrists, housekeepers, launderers, drivers, and so much more! It's intense. It requires delicate balance. Zen is the balance of body, mind and spirit. Living a zen existence involves making conscious choices to live a more peaceful and accepting life. We are all born zen. This crazy world we live in zaps that zen. The Zen Parent Guide provides you with witty insight, authentic ideas to find serenity in your daily life, zen-inspiring exercises, uplifting affirmations, and peaceful illustrations. They will inspire you to stop judging yourself and open up to embracing your inner calm, while you are sailing through the wonderfully chaotic issues that arise in life with small children. For those who have ever thought: These things only happen to me! I can assure you, you are not the only one! Read on to discover how to create peace in your world... For more information, visit: ZenParentGuide.com
So you think you're a Buddhist? Think again. Tibetan Buddhist master Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse, one of the most creative and innovative lamas teaching today, throws down the gauntlet to the Buddhist world, challenging common misconceptions, stereotypes, and fantasies. With wit and irony, Khysentse urges readers to move beyond the superficial trappings of Buddhism—beyond the romance with beads, incense, or exotic robes—straight to the heart of what the Buddha taught.
Denis Kelly’s life is part Hunter S. Thompson, part Timothy Leary, and part Eckhart Tolle. From his beginnings in an abusive and alcoholic home in Wisconsin to becoming a major force in the counterculture movement, and then from a life on the run and in prison to a life in a monastery and in service, it is as entertaining as it is inspirational. A Heart Blown Open chronicles the life and teachings of Zen master Jun Po Denis Kelly Roshi as he worked to integrate hard-won wisdom into his dynamic life. Experience the successes and failures that brought him to found an entirely new form of Zen called Mondo Zen. Extraordinary for their playfulness, depravity, and liberating insight, Jun Po’s life events swirl together to underscore and illuminate the environment from which one of the most controversial masters of the American Zen scene has emerged. -- FOREWORD REVIEW “Kelly came back to the question again and again: what did it mean to be an American Zen Roshi nearing the twenty-first century?” If Denis Kelly’s life was made into a novel, no one would believe it, so the truth, told here as accurately as possible by author and fellow Zen Buddhist Keith Martin-Smith, must suffice: Kelly crossed every inner river, climbed every emotional mountain, slayed every psychological dragon, to arrive at a place of peacefulness. Most of us imagine that a spiritual master would be a person of high moral integrity, likely celibate, and definitely vegetarian, someone who speaks in terse mysterious phrases and smiles a lot. Someone rather like the Dalai Lama, whom Kelly has met. Kelly had a habit, begun in grade school, of telling people in authority that what they said was “bull––” and he didn’t spare the Dalai Lama that assessment. The assertion generally resulted in shock and expulsion, but not in the case of the Dalai Lama, who just smiled and told Kelly that his spiritual insight wasn’t deep enough yet. Oddly, it was his tendency to blow up at authority that led to Kelly’s heart being blown open, and to his becoming a spiritual master himself. Kelly grew up with an abusive alcoholic father who savagely beat his sons while his mother turned a blind eye. This gave the boy a hatred of men in authority and a mistrust of all women that took him years to overcome. The only saving grace in his youth was a memory from infancy, of finding solace in a “sense of pervasive peace … a silence out of which everything arose.” Because of that fleeting but seemingly endless moment, despite all the self-ruining experiences Kelly had to go through, he was drawn to meditation and to Buddhism. Along the way to becoming a Zen adept, he was a wealthy drug dealer, a founding member of the California “family” that in the 1970s manufactured a notably pure form of LSD known as Windowpane. Kelly believed that enlightenment, that sense of peace he had felt as a baby, could be achieved through LSD. He traveled to India and met some interesting gurus, but none who could disabuse him of the notion that satori, the goal of Buddhist meditation, was available through a chemical. He wound up in prison for that belief. Finally he agreed to bend himself to the discipline of Eido Roshi (who pronounced him to be “worth civilizing”), lived in a Buddhist monastery, and became Vise Abbot for a time. Martin-Smith keeps Kelly’s story rolling on a fast track, just as the man’s life has been lived—the women, the violence, the good times, the regrets, the fear, and loathing, all are recounted. There is something in this book for everyone: spiritual seekers and unrepentant sinners alike will find Kelly’s ride hilarious, frustrating, poignant, and thoroughly human. The result of the journey is a new unique form of spiritual practice that Kelly, now a cancer survivor in his seventies who leads international workshops, calls “Mondo Zen”—“the radical invention that brought Zen into the twenty-first century and fully into the West.” Barbara Bamberger Scott August 6, 2012
Author: Robert M. Pirsig
Publisher: Harper Collins
Release Date: 2009-04-21
Acclaimed as one of the most exciting books in the history of American letters, this modern epic became an instant bestseller upon publication in 1974, transforming a generation and continuing to inspire millions. This 25th Anniversary Quill Edition features a new introduction by the author; important typographical changes; and a Reader's Guide that includes discussion topics, an interview with the author, and letters and documents detailing how this extraordinary book came to be. A narration of a summer motorcycle trip undertaken by a father and his son, the book becomes a personal and philosophical odyssey into fundamental questions of how to live. The narrator's relationship with his son leads to a powerful self-reckoning; the craft of motorcycle maintenance leads to an austerely beautiful process for reconciling science, religion, and humanism. Resonant with the confusions of existence, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance is a touching and transcendent book of life.