Unconditional Parenting

Author: Alfie Kohn
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1416531831
Release Date: 2006-03-28
Genre: Family & Relationships

Most parenting guides begin with the question "How can we get kids to do what they're told?"--and then proceed to offer various techniques for controlling them. In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking "What do kids need--and how can we meet those needs?" What follows from that question are ideas for working with children rather than doing things to them. One basic need all children have, Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time-outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send. More than just another book about discipline, though, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting--including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people. This is an eye-opening, paradigm-shattering book that will reconnect readers to their own best instincts and inspire them to become better parents.

Unconditional Parenting

Author: Alfie Kohn
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 9780743487481
Release Date: 2006-03-28
Genre: Family & Relationships

The author of Punished by Rewards and The School Our Children Deserve builds on his parenting theories of working with children rather than trying to control them, argues against practices that teach children that they must earn a parent's approval, and presents techniques that promote desired child qualities through unconditional support. Reprint. 30,000 first printing.

Punished by Rewards

Author: Alfie Kohn
Publisher: Mariner Books
ISBN: 132845052X
Release Date: 2018-08-07
Genre: Behaviorism (Psychology)

Updated and revised for the twenty-fifth anniversary of publication. The basic strategy we use for raising children, teaching students, and managing workers can be summarized in six words: Do this and you'll get that. We dangle goodies (from candy bars to sales commissions) in front of people in much the same way we train the family pet. Drawing on a wealth of psychological research, Alfie Kohn points the way to a more successful strategy based on working with people instead of doing things to them. "Do rewards motivate people?" asks Kohn. "Yes. They motivate people to get rewards." Seasoned with humor and familiar examples, Punished by Rewards presents an argument unsettling to hear but impossible to dismiss.

No Contest

Author: Alfie Kohn
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
ISBN: 9780547527390
Release Date: 2013-11-19
Genre: Business & Economics

No Contest stands as the definitive critique of competition. Contrary to accepted wisdom, competition is not basic to human nature; it poisons our relationships and holds us back from doing our best. In this new edition, Alfie Kohn argues that the race to win turns all of us into losers.

Beyond Discipline

Author: Alfie Kohn
Publisher: ASCD
ISBN: 9781416604723
Release Date: 2006
Genre: Education

What is most remarkable about the assortment of discipline programs on the market today is the number of fundamental assumptions they seem to share. Some may advocate the use of carrots rather than sticks; some may refer to punishments as "logical consequences." But virtually all take for granted that the teacher must be in control of the classroom, and that what we need are strategies to get students to comply with the adult's expectations. Alfie Kohn challenged these widely accepted premises, and with them the very idea of classroom "management," when the original edition of Beyond Discipline was published in 1996. Since then, his path-breaking book has invited hundreds of thousands of educators to question the assumption that problems in the classroom are always the fault of students who don't do what they're told; instead, it may be necessary to reconsider what it is that they've been told to do--or to learn. Kohn shows how a fundamentally cynical view of children underlies the belief that we must tell them exactly how we expect them to behave and then offer "positive reinforcement" when they obey. Just as memorizing someone else's right answers fails to promote students' intellectual development, so does complying with someone else's expectations for how to act fail to help students develop socially or morally. Kohn contrasts the idea of discipline, in which things are done to students to control their behavior, with an approach in which we work with students to create caring communities where decisions are made together. Beyond Discipline has earned the status of an education classic, a vital alternative to all the traditional manuals that consist of techniques for imposing control. For this 10th anniversary edition, Kohn adds a new afterword that expands on the book's central themes and responds to questions from readers. Packed with stories from real classrooms around the country, seasoned with humor and grounded in a vision as practical as it is optimistic, Beyond Discipline shows how students are most likely to flourish in schools that have moved toward collaborative problem solving--and beyond discipline.

Connection Parenting

Author: Pam Leo
Publisher: Wyatt-Mackenzie Pub
ISBN: 1932279768
Release Date: 2007
Genre: Family & Relationships

"Connection Parenting" is based on author Pam Leo's seven week parenting series, "Meeting the Needs of Children," that she has been teaching for over sixteen years. The premise is that a strong parent-child bond is the key to children's optimal human development and our most effective parenting tool. Connection Parenting is a proactive approach to parenting that supports parents and caregivers in creating and maintaining the strong bonds children need to thrive.

The Emotional Life of the Toddler

Author: Alicia F. Lieberman
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 9781476792040
Release Date: 2017-12-12
Genre: Family & Relationships

Now updated with new material throughout, Alicia F. Lieberman’s The Emotional Life of the Toddler is the seminal, detailed look into the varied and intense emotional life of children aged one to three. Hailed as “groundbreaking” by The Boston Globe after its initial publication, the new edition includes the latest research on this crucial stage of development. Anyone who has followed an active toddler around for a day knows that a child of this age is a whirlwind of explosive, contradictory, and ever-changing emotions. Alicia F. Lieberman offers an in-depth examination of toddlers’ emotional development, and illuminates how to optimize this crucial stage so that toddlers can develop into emotionally healthy children and adults. Drawing on her lifelong research, Dr. Lieberman addresses commonly asked questions and issues. Why, for example, is “no” often the favorite response of the toddler? How should parents deal with the anger they might feel when their toddler is being aggressively stubborn? Why does a crying toddler run to his mother for a hug only to push himself vigorously away as soon as she begins to embrace him? This updated edition also addresses twenty-first century concerns such as how to handle screen time on devices and parenting in a post-internet world. With the help of numerous examples and vivid cases, Lieberman answers these and other questions, providing, in the process, a rich, insightful profile of the roller coaster emotional world of the toddler.

Feel Bad Education

Author: Alfie Kohn
Publisher: Beacon Press
ISBN: 9780807001417
Release Date: 2011-04-05
Genre: Education

Mind-opening writing on what kids need from school, from one of education’s most outspoken voices Almost no writer on schools asks us to question our fundamental assumptions about education and motivation as boldly as Alfie Kohn. The Washington Post says that “teachers and parents who encounter Kohn and his thoughts come away transfixed, ready to change their schools.” And Time magazine has called him “perhaps the country’s most outspoken critic of education’s fixation on grades [and] test scores.” Here is challenging and entertaining writing on where we should go in American education, in Alfie Kohn’s unmistakable voice. He argues in the title essay with those who think that high standards mean joylessness in the classroom. He reflects thoughtfully on the question “Why Self-Discipline Is Overrated.” And in an essay for the New York Times, which generated enormous response, he warns against the dangers of both punishing and praising children for what they do instead of parenting “unconditionally.” Whether he’s talking about school policy or the psychology of motivation, Kohn gives us wonderfully provocative—and utterly serious—food for thought. This new book will be greeted with enthusiasm by his many readers, and by teachers and parents seeking a refreshing perspective on today’s debates about kids and schools.

The Daily Groove

Author: Scott Noelle
Publisher:
ISBN: 145375721X
Release Date: 2008-05-22
Genre:

THE DAILY GROOVE is an introduction to Scott Noelle's holistic parenting philosophy and a collection of more than 175 brief, simple, one-a-day tips and techniques for transforming the daily "grind" of parenting into a joyful daily "groove"! Ideal for parents who want to cultivate a spirit of creative partnership in their families, this book also makes a great gift for new parents and parents-to-be.FROM THE BACK COVER:"I've read a lot about parenting from many, many different people, but your words just have a way of going straight to my heart. They have been truly life-changing for me and my husband." --Amy (Maryland, US). "I really love The Daily Groove. It's nice to have something that takes a short while to read and gives me a boost for my day with my two adventurous, energetic boys." --Jeanette (New Zealand). "I just wanted to tell you how uplifting I find The Daily Groove. I use it as my morning meditation, and I have become a much gentler and patient mother." --Sarah (Georgia, US). "Your Daily Groove tips have changed my parenting completely for the better. I've read every parenting book I could get my hands on, but your approach is the first that's matched with my world view, resonated with my soul, doesn't make me feel bad about myself, and works all the time!" --Anna (Brighton, UK).

The Schools Our Children Deserve

Author: Alfie Kohn
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
ISBN: 0618083456
Release Date: 2000
Genre: Education

Arguing against the "tougher standards" rhetoric that marks the current education debate, the author of No Contest and Punished by Rewards writes that such tactics squeeze the pleasure out of learning. Reprint.

Tears Heal

Author: Kate Orson
Publisher: Piatkus
ISBN: 9780349410111
Release Date: 2016-10-06
Genre: Family & Relationships

One of the most difficult things parents of babies and young children have to deal with are tears. When babies cry, parents shhh, or rock them to try to get them to stop. When toddlers' tantrum parents may distract them, attempt to reason with them, or ignore their crying in the hope it won't last long. It seems natural to judge the success of parenting by how much children cry. Tears Heal will allow readers to discover parenting's biggest paradigm shift, the way they respond to their children's tears. Here parents will learn how to transform their parenting by moving away from stopping feelings, towards listening instead. Tears Heal explains how children's challenging behaviour comes from unheard feelings and how through simple shifts in how we respond to their upsets we can solve our parenting struggles. Tears Heal is warm, and full of empathy for the hard work, and struggles that parents go through. It also has a strong leaning towards helping parents with their own emotions, as they deal with their children's challenging moments. It explains why we find children's feelings hard to handle, because our feelings weren't fully listened to when we were children, and shows how we can nurture and support ourselves so that we can be the parents we want to be.

Parenting from the Inside Out

Author: Daniel J. Siegel MD
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 9781101662694
Release Date: 2013-12-26
Genre: Family & Relationships

An updated edition—with a new preface—of the bestselling parenting classic by the author of "BRAINSTORM: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain" In Parenting from the Inside Out, child psychiatrist Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., and early childhood expert Mary Hartzell, M.Ed., explore the extent to which our childhood experiences shape the way we parent. Drawing on stunning new findings in neurobiology and attachment research, they explain how interpersonal relationships directly impact the development of the brain, and offer parents a step-by-step approach to forming a deeper understanding of their own life stories, which will help them raise compassionate and resilient children. Born out of a series of parents' workshops that combined Siegel's cutting-edge research on how communication impacts brain development with Hartzell's decades of experience as a child-development specialist and parent educator, this book guides parents through creating the necessary foundations for loving and secure relationships with their children.

The Attachment Parenting Book

Author: William Sears
Publisher: Little, Brown
ISBN: 0759526036
Release Date: 2001-09-01
Genre: Family & Relationships

Might you and your baby both sleep better if you shared a bed? How old is too old for breastfeeding? What is a father's role in nurturing a newborn? How does early attachment foster a child's eventual independence? Dr. Bill and Martha Sears -- the doctor-and-nurse, husband-and-wife team who coined the term "attachment parenting" -- answer these and many more questions in this practical, inspiring guide. Attachment parenting is a style of parenting that encourages a strong early attachment, and advocates parental responsiveness to babies' dependency needs. "The Attachment Parenting Book" clearly explains the six "Baby B's" that form the basis of this increasingly popular parenting style: Bonding, Breastfeeding, Babywearing, Bedding close to baby, Belief in the language value of baby's cry, Beware of baby trainers.Here's all the information you need to achieve your most important goals as a new parent: to know your child, to help your child feel right, and to enjoy parenting.

Differently Wired

Author: Deborah Reber
Publisher: Workman Publishing
ISBN: 9781523503865
Release Date: 2018-06-12
Genre: Family & Relationships

Today millions of kids are stuck in a world that doesn't respect, support, or embrace who they really are—these are what Deborah Reber is calling the “differently wired” kids, the one in five children with ADHD, dyslexia, Asperger’s, giftedness, anxiety, sensory processing disorder, and other neurodifferences. Their challenges are many. But for the parents who love them, the challenges are just as hard—struggling to find the right school, the right therapist, the right parenting group while feeling isolated and harboring endless internal doubts about what’s normal, what’s not, and how to handle it all. But now there’s hope. Written by Deborah Reber, a bestselling author and mother in the midst of an eye-opening journey with her son who is twice exceptional (he has ADHD, Asperger’s, and is highly gifted), Differently Wired is a how-to, a manifesto, a book of wise advice, and the best kind of been-there, done-that companion. On the one hand it’s a book of saying NO, and how it’s time to say no to trying to fit your round-peg kid into society’s square holes, no to educational and social systems that don’t respect your child, no to the anxiety and fear that keep parents stuck. And then it’s a book of YES. By offering 18 paradigm shifts—what she calls “tilts”— Reber shows how to change everything. How to “Get Out of Isolation and Connect.” “Stop Fighting Who Your Child Is and Lean In.” “Let Go of What Others Think.” “Create a World Where Your Child Can Feel Secure.” “Find Your People (and Ditch the Rest).” “Help Your Kids Embrace Self-Discovery.” And through these alternative ways of being, discover how to stay open, pay attention, and become an exceptional parent to your exceptional child.