[Now includes a 14-page excerpt from Zari Ballard's new book Stop Spinning, Start Breathing] When our committed relationship involves a narcissistic partner or someone with a narcissistic personality disorder, it is inevitable that the experience, at some point, will take a very dark turn. Pathological liars, chronic cheaters, and masters at passive-aggressive punishments (i.e. the silent treatment), narcissists follow a specific relationship agenda where every deceptive move is deliberately calculated to confuse and abuse the people who love them. And, as crazy as it appears, those who love the narcissist will stick it out, thinking they can fix this person or love them out of their bad behavior...but the truth is that neither is possible. Narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths can never be fixed - not with love, therapy, and not with any magic pill. I know...because I stumbled down this very path for twelve long years. Do the behaviors of your partner continually cause you to feel suspicious? Are you subjected to silent treatments and other forms of controlling punishments? Do you find yourself choosing to overlook these behaviors rather than face a confrontation? Does your partner appear to create chaos just to keep you feeling anxious and insecure? Are you obsessed with trying to figure it all out? Answering "yes" to any of the above indicates that you may be involved with a narcissistic partner...a person without a conscience...a pretender...someone who is manipulating your life to suit his own purpose. You may even feel an agonizing codependency - not only to the narcissist but to the drama itself - and this, too, is an intention of the narcissist's pathological relationship agenda. When Love Is a Lie is a personal, non-clinical narrative that exposes the typical manipulative behavioral patterns of narcissistic partners. Based on my own 12-year experience, this book deliberately offers no excuses for narcissism (medical or otherwise) nor does it encourage readers to cut a narcissistic partner any slack whatsoever. This book is about the reality of the situation, about why we become codependent to the drama, and, most importantly, what we can do about all of it to save our own lives. Learn how/why a lover or partner with a narcissistic personality... can never have - or even pretend to have - the love-worthy human qualities (the undeniable truths!) that make up the beauty of life. can - and probably has - deliberately and methodically managed down your relationship expectations so that you expect less and he gets away with more will use the Silent Treatment and similar demoralizing methods of control to punish those who dare to call him out on questionable behaviors will create chaos even during "good" times as a tactic for keeping you in a constant state of codependent anxiety will juggle many relationships at once and often for years with no one being the wiser...not even you lies even when the truth is a better story Realizing the truth about your narcissistic partner is never easy but it's not the end of the world. Use this book to separate yourself from the narcissistic drama once and for all. **Scroll to the top to order** **Click image at top to Look Inside this book**
Stop Spinning, Start Breathing - from the author of When Love Is a Lie The characteristics of a narcissistic personality and/or narcissistic partner are such that once we finally bridge a connection to our partner's behaviors, there's simply no denying that we've found the answer. In an instant, we recognize our story as identical to all the others and our partner as interchangeable with every narcissist and sociopath on the planet. But making the discovery that the person we love is a fake doesn't magically give us the ability to walk away or make our codependency any easier to handle. Sadly enough, we become addicted to the very drama that we hate. In essence, we become the suffering - but it doesn't have to be that way. You can learn to mentally break free from the emotional abuse caused by a narcissist partner. Recovery from narcissist abuse is about coping with the emotional collateral damage of what you've experienced..and this is where Stop Spinning, Start Breathing, as a recovery workbook, will have the biggest impact. Stop Spinning, Start Breathing, the follow-up/companion workbook to Zari Ballard's When Love Is a Lie, presents a journal-style recovery process that you, as a codependent victim, can begin at any time.....whether you're in the relationship or out of it, whether you're maintaining "no contact" or struggling with it, whether your being subjected to a narcissist's silent treatment... and even while the narcissist is hoovering to keep you in the loop. No one but you needs to be the wiser about your recovery. Finally, you can stop investigating the abuse and the narcissist because you already know the truth. Counteract the N's pathological agenda with an agenda of your own - to get better - and you can start right now from wherever you're at! The recovery exercises in this 3-part workbook will show/teach you... how putting the relationship in its proper perspective - as simple as it sounds - really does end the suffering once and for all how mismanaging our own memories creates a relationship amnesia that keeps us addicted long after the Discard (and how to fix it!) to use simple logic as a way to navigate the confusion of cognitive dissonance to understand why there is so much pain and why any relationship with a narcissist will always be different than all the others that facing your fears/anxieties about ending the relationship will help you to recognize what it is that you're really afraid of to look in retrospect on life before the narcissist and decide now who/where you'll be going forward how to actually appreciate the silence of a silent treatment and use this time wisely to jump-start the healing to recognize and protect your personal boundaries so that no one - and especially the narcissist - can ever cross them again how learning to live "in the moment" is the key to breaking codependency and emotional addiction to anything With this codependency recovery workbook, you will learn to make the right choices and to come to terms with your conflicting beliefs about the person that is hurting you. You can learn to manage the memories involving a narcissistic partner so that what you remember is the reality and not the fantasy. Once you allow yourself to get better, detaching from a narcissistic lover /partner occurs swiftly and with less sadness, erratic emotions stabilize, and life begins to make miraculous changes! **Scroll to the top to ORDER TODAY**Scroll to the top to "Look Inside" this book
"When Evil Is a Pretty Face" is a unique compilation of the best content from all three of Zari Ballard's three popular books on narcissism in relationships but with the gender references reversed and with special chapters added that specifically speak to a man's experience with a female narcissistic partner. Is your wife or girlfriend a pathological liar, a cheater, and someone who is nothing like the person you fell in love with? Does she accuse you incessantly of cheating even though her own stories and excuses never seem to add up? Does she blame you for everything wrong with the relationship and take accountability for nothing? Are you subjected to silent treatments, sudden disappearances, and cold shoulders for no reason at all and will she use "the power of the pussy" to manipulate you into taking her back? Answer yes to any of the above and it's likely your woman has a narcissistic personality disorder and that chaos and confusion has become the norm in your life. It's also likely that you've been unable to find support since much of the information available about narcissism focuses on the male narcissist/female sufferer dynamic as if the reverse never happens. Moreover, this lack of support is exacerbated by the fact that we live in a society that doesn't provide a whole lot of sympathy for male victims of anything - and the female narcissist knows this all too well. "Lacking a moral compass, a narcissist will stay in multiple relationships, diligently working to keep partners unsure or unaware of the existence of the others, for as long as she can and even after her crime has been discovered. The fact that she causes pain to others is the fuel to her fire. Narcissists live their lives via the proxy of their partner's suffering and via the "rules and requirements" of the narcissist's relationship agenda." - When Evil Is a Pretty Face, 2015 This book will tell you what you need to know about what is happening to you. It will explain why the female narcissists does what she does, says what she says, and how her twisted mind thinks relative to her pathological agenda. The truth is that the female narcissist has her male counterparts beat hands down in the evil department and because she's a female, she is allowed to live her life in a way that is above reproach. But there is one thing that all narcissists have in common and that is that they can never be fixed - not with love, therapy, or with any magic pill. No Contact is the only way to escape the relationship alive and this book will show you the way.
In a revealing study of relationships where partners love themselves first, last, and always, Cynthia Zayn and Kevin Dibble help readers determine whether their partner is over the line and has narcissistic personality disorder. The book draws on the authors' research and interviews with a variety of men and women who've been narcissized. Featuring compelling stories and scenarios, Narcissistic Lovers helps victims understand the pain brought on by their abusers, shows why these self-loathers can't change, and offer hope for healing from their "N-fliction."
Although clinical research has been conducted on narcissism as a disorder, less is known about its effects on victims who are in toxic relationships with partners with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Individuals with this disorder engage in chronic devaluation and manipulation of their partners, a psychological and emotional phenomenon known as "narcissistic abuse." Unfortunately, the full extent of what narcissistic abuse entails is not taught in any psychology class or diagnostic manual. In this book, survivors will learn: •The red flags of narcissistic behavior and covert manipulation tactics, including subtle signs many survivors don't catch in the early stages of dating a narcissist. •The motives behind narcissistic abuse and techniques to resist a narcissist's manipulation. •Why abuse survivors usually stay with a narcissist long after incidents of abuse occur. •How our own brain chemistry locks us into an addiction with a narcissistic or toxic partner, creating cravings for the constant chaos of the abuse cycle. •Traditional and alternative methods to begin to detach and heal from the addiction to the narcissist, including eleven important steps all survivors must take on the road to healing. •Methods to rewrite the narratives that abusers have written for us so we can begin to reconnect with our authentic selves and purpose. •How to rebuild an even more victorious and empowering life after abuse.
Author: Rokelle Lerner
Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.
Release Date: 2010-01-01
Genre: Family & Relationships
Does your boss constantly blame you for things you didn't do? Do you isolate yourself from friends and family to avoid conflict at home? Do you feel anxious when you see a certain 'friend's' name on your cell phone? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you most likely have a narcissist in your life. The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection will help you understand the complexities of this disorder and arm you with the coping mechanisms to navigate through this type of relationship. Narcissists suffer from a personality disorder that began in the early stages of childhood. They are stuck in an early development stage where there is tremendous self-interest, excessive self-absorption, and extreme entitlement. Their behavior is a consequence of early childhood abandonment and abuse. Rokelle Lerner specializes in working with narcissists and the people they impact. Her astounding results in improving the quality of life for those that live or work with narcissists has been recognized by therapists across the country. She explains why narcissists do the things they do and how you can protect yourself from their intimidation and manipulations. Lerner shows you how to: * Spot a narcissist at work and in your personal life * Set appropriate boundaries to avoid further conflict * Avoid antagonizing a narcissist at work or at home Narcissists are disarming, manipulative, and mesmerizing by nature. The Object of My Affection is in My Reflection will help you see through their charm so you can recharge your spirit, redefine your purpose, and regain your life.
Author: Wendy T. Behary
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Release Date: 2013-07-01
Genre: Family & Relationships
Do you know someone who is overly arrogant, shows an extreme lack of empathy, or exhibits an inflated sense of entitlement? Do they exploit others, or engage in magical thinking? These are all traits of narcissistic personality disorder, and when it comes to dealing with narcissists, it can be difficult to get your point across. So how do you handle the narcissistic people in your life? You might interact with them in social or professional settings, and you might even love one—so ignoring them isn’t really a practical solution. They're frustrating, and maybe even intimidating, but ultimately, you need to find a way of communicating effectively with them. Disarming the Narcissist, Second Edition, will show you how to move past the narcissist's defenses using compassionate, empathetic communication. You'll learn how narcissists view the world, how to navigate their coping styles, and why, oftentimes, it's sad and lonely being a narcissist. By learning to anticipate and avoid certain hot-button issues, you'll be able to relate to narcissists without triggering aggression. By validating some common narcissistic concerns, you'll also find out how to be heard in conversation with a narcissist. This book will help you learn to meet your own needs while side-stepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments with someone who is at the center of his or her own universe. This new edition also includes new chapters on dealing with narcissistic women, aggressive and abusive narcissists, strategies for safety, and the link between narcissism and sex addiction. Finally, you'll learn how to set limits with your narcissist and when it's time to draw the line on unacceptable behavior.
You try to understand how another human being could psychologically terrorize you in the manner that the Narcissist you were with did to you. You loved this person and they SAID they loved you back. They participated in the relationship and it seemed like 'normal' reciprocation as far as them loving you back. BUT today you are looking at this relationship and wondering HOW did this turn around in such a hideous manner that you feel so lost, so confused, so broken, and disabled. What did you do wrong, why did this person that you loved unconditionally now seems to hate you and blame you and WHAT IS THE REASON? They have probably moved on very quickly and are with someone new and they are saying that they are in love and it is amazing. They are also saying that they basically had to run from YOU because you were impossible to deal with, or perhaps you have mental health issues, OR you abused them. You feel frozen in time, very vulnerable, and in shock or better yet traumatized from this and you want to dig through all of the layers and understand this so you can move on, BUT YOU JUST CAN'T SEEM TO DO SO. Family and friends are there to support you but more than likely it is to give you a small pat on the back and say time will heal your wounds, or you HAVE to move on, OR how could you stay in this relationship for as long as you have if it was this bad. When you try to tell your story it is so incredulous that most people seem to be in shock over the allegations that you are proposing about the relationship. In turn you only feel like you are the problem and you blame yourself even more and MAYBE you start to believe that you were the problem just like that Narcissist said. You feel like your spirit is gone and your whole belief system has been thrown out the door about life. Where do you start, how do you turn off the many negative messages? How do you reclaim your spirt and join life again? Who do you go to for the help that you need and WHY is this taking so long to get over? Every day is a struggle and you want this to stop NOW and you want to move on. You have heard 'things' your Narcissist has said about you to the very people you love in your life and now they may be challenging you or questioning this from the Narcissist's point of view. You are defending yourself when you shouldn't have to. Again you are feeling you are the problem here and all of this has become insurmountable. Well I totally believe you, I totally understand what you are going through and I am going to explain this abuse in a manner to educate you, as well as help you embrace this in a manner to achieve closure on your own. I am going to try to explain as much of this as I possibly can to help you get through this and achieve that "Ah Ha' moment where you do 'GET THIS'. I am going to do this in a manner that goes beyond the clinical definitions and put it out there in a raw manner with real definitions and explanations from the perspective of a person that has gone through this and returned back to a normal lifestyle. With each and every separate topic I am going to keep bringing you back to some of the same specific points I may have already covered in a manner that not only defines a specific situation but constantly reconnects it to the bigger picture! I will repeat and connect thoughts in each chapter because there is no real 'rhyme or reason' to this abuse, only the truth and facts that every target/victim of this abuse experiences the SAME thing. That is what I am trying to connect you to! Each chapter is its own separate story so you can read a chapter at a time, return and connect to a new definition that brings you back to a little more of the truth and understanding the total picture step by step.
The narcissism handbook for suspecting partners Is your partner actually a narcissist or is he/she just a person behaving badly...and how can you tell? Learning to recognize the signs/behaviors of the narcissistic personality can prevent this type of emotional manipulation and abuse from ever happening to you at all OR the knowledge will give you the confidence to finally go "no contact" with the abuser you are involved with. Yet another amazingly intuitive book about narcissism in relationships from blogger/relationship consultant Zari Ballard (thenarcissisticpersonality.com), Narcissism in A Nutshell will quickly provide you with an answer to that all-too familiar nagging question: Is he or isn't he? Zari explains that this isn't rocket science...that the trick to determining whether a partner's behaviors are truly narcissistic is inremaining watchful of how these behaviors connect and relate to each other. These behaviors do not stand alone and if you make the mistake of thinking that they do, you will always lose. This narcissism handbook not only describes the thirteen most blatant characteristics of narcissism in a relationship, it also explains, very clearly, how all of the described behaviors seamlessly connect to form the pathological relationship agenda - an agenda by which the narcissist lives his/her life and by which you, if you choose to stay with this person, will live your life as well. In a nutshell, here is how a narcissist's mind-boggling behaviors connect from one to the other within this book: A narcissist's initial love-bombing (Chapter I) sets the stage for years of future-faking (Chapter III) much like the nefarious silent treatment (Chapter VI) succeeds due to the managing down of a partner's expectations (Chapter VIII) which will always involve the type of covert pathological lying (Chapter II) that, combined with cell phone games (Chapter V), the pain of triangulation (Chapter X), and projection tactics (Chapter XIII), will contribute to an overall confusion in the loving partner that allows a narcissist to get away with everything that he does. It's all about creating chaos (Chapter XII) and distraction(Chapter IX)! Seemingly separate at first, these passive-aggressive behaviors will always combine in such a way that there will be no doubt as to who this person really is. And those are just a FEW of the many ways that we can connect the dots within this book. It's easier than you think...all you have to do is know what you see. Don't ever be fooled by a narcissist again...Download this book today! Visit Zari's blog: thenarcissisticpersonality.com
Author: Paul Meier
Publisher: Hillcrest Publishing Group
Release Date: 2009
Genre: Family & Relationships
Why is this relationship so hard? It is so invigorating to know that we don't have to stay stuck -- even if we are not the one struggling with narcissism -- we can change the way we relate to the people who do. Find out if the stress in your relationships with family, friends, or at work is unknowingly caused from narcissism in yourself or others. Narcissism is actually much more common than we may think and, in reality, most of us have some of these characteristics. This book has been written by two psychotherapists and a psychiatrist with decades of both personal and professional experience with narcissism. It is filled with many interesting-to-read stories taken from the authors' or their clients' lives that clearly demonstrate examples of narcissism. A Narcissism Questionnaire and practical suggestions are given for dealing with narcissism whether it's in your spouse, a co-worker, or even yourself.
Web of Lies takes you on an emotional roller-coaster, experienced through the eyes of Sarah Tate, an intelligent, young newcomer to Switzerland who is swept off her feet by an older, more experienced company manager. Within weeks of their meeting, Bill impresses her with a courtship vastly unusual in modern times. He lures Sarah with his intellect along with numerous gifts, expensive restaurants, and trips to luxury hotels. Sarah, who is searching for not only love but security, quickly finds herself falling for the worldly but sensitive and caring man Bill represents himself to be. In Web of Lies, she describes the highs and the lows of what it is like to be involved with a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, how to come to terms with the abuse, and most importantly, how to escape.
"The No-Contact strategy for breaking up with a narcissistic partner is nothing new for anyone who has searched the internet for answers to the nightmare that is narcissism. The truth, however, is that going No Contact - by its true definition - does mean that this particular break-up is the last one, thus increasing the intensity of the decision three-fold. No Contact means committing to the fact that you've had enough and that you want your life back. It means that you're willing to accept the possibility of sad, sad days ahead - days spent lamenting a relationship that we know now was a lie. It means ignoring meaningless hoovering (the narcissist's attempts to solicit a reaction) because you know that giving in means emotional suicide. Going No Contact means that you mean business once and for all. The No-Contact (NC) strategy is all about you and no one else. This no-reaction strategy for leaving the narcissistic partner will give you all of the things that you've been wanting throughout the nightmare. Even if you have a co-parenting situation with a narcissistic partner, NC is still possible and Zari will show you how to spin it your way. After all those silent treatments and disappearances and after all of the pathological bullshit, you will finally be given that elusive "closure". Breaking Up With a Narcissist is a No Contact handbook that will walk you through the steps that come before, during, and after the break-up. The no-contact strategy instantly ends the vicious cycle of abuse that has become the norm in your life"--Amazon.com.
Author: Lisa E. Scott
Publisher: Cedar Fort
Release Date: 2009
Ever wonder why your guy can t seem to understand you? Is he avoiding intimacy? Obsessed with his image? Is he just incapable of empathizing with you?Well, when your guy is a narcissist, it has nothing to do with you . . . it s all about him.In this engaging collection of personal anecdotes combined with current scientific research, Lisa E. Scott examines the typical traits of pathological narcissism. Clear examples from her own experiences help Lisa explain how a narcissist is dependent on a significant other to provide him the praise and attention he craves. Everything you do will never be enough.Narcissists perfect the art of charm, usually seeming too good to be true. So what can you do to protect yourself from a narcissist?It s All About Him will help you examine the men in your life and see through their charming facades. You will learn Why you fall for him Why he does what he does How to move on if you ve been hurtMost important of all, It s All About Him will help you prevent the heartache that comes from falling in love with a narcissist.