Candid, compassionate, authoritative--a rich source of insights, information, and practical guidance. "The first major work on the topic." --Gay Community News "A much needed comprehensive study of what happens to husbands, wives, and children during the coming-out crisis. --The Reverend Jane E. Vennard, founder Task Force for Spouses of Gays and Lesbians "The new enlarged edition adds important factors, especially children's reactions to a parent's coming out. Well-researched and insightful." --Fritz Klein, M.D., author of The Bisexual Option "Anybody practicing in this area would be well advised to read this book." --Professor Arthur S. Leonard, New York Law School In two million marriages, one spouse is gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Having a spouse or parent disclose his or her same-sex attraction is a shattering experience fraught with pain, confusion, anger, and a profound loss of self-esteem. Amity Pierce Buxton spotlights this exploding phenomenon and reports constructive coping strategies that spouses and children have used to resolve problems of sexual damage, family breakdown, deception, and homophobia. Illustrated throughout by riveting personal narratives, this expanded edition of The Other Side of the Closet traces the family's journey from initial trauma to eventual transformation. This invaluable source of information for spouses, families, and professionals is based on Dr. Buxton's eight years of research, including interviews with 1,000 straight spouses and children, her own personal experience, and her counseling work with spouses of gay, lesbian, and bisexual partners.
Author: Loren A. Olson MD
Publisher: Oak Lane Press
Release Date: 2017-04-01
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
Dr. Loren A. Olson has frequently been asked two questions: How could you not know that you were gay until the age of forty? Wasn't your marriage just a sham to protect yourself at your wife's expense? In Finally Out, Dr. Olson answers these questions by telling the inspiring story of his evolving sexuality, into which he intelligently weaves psychological concepts and gay history. This book is a powerful exploration of human sexuality, particularly the sexuality of mature men who, like Dr. Olson, lived a large part of their lives as straight men--sometimes long after becoming aware of their same-sex attractions. Readers will come to understand: - That there is no universal model for coming out - Why many older LGBTQ men came out late, do not come out at all, or come out to varying degrees in different environments - How stigma has created mental health problems for isolated and closeted men who have sex with men, particularly in geographical areas and cultures where there is little or no acceptance of homosexuality - How sexual function changes but perhaps even improves for older men - That aging creates opportunities that one has never had and may never have again, e.g., freedom from the tyranny of ambition - That some people consistently prefer an older sexual partner and this can lead to stable, intergenerational relationships - How same-sex sexual activity was considered prior to the Stonewall uprising in 1969 contrasted with the way it is perceived after Stonewall - How age, culture, geographical location, heterosexual marriage, and children impact a person's decision to come out - Why "conversion therapy" does not work and may be harmful - The difference between homophobia and homonaivete - The archetypes of self-identified straight men who seek occasional or regular sex with other men - How to overcome the shame and guilt experienced by men who are sexually attracted to other men
This is the first British guide for counsellors and therapists working with people who are lesbian, gay or bisexual. It provides a much needed overview of lesbian, gay and bisexual psychology, and examines some of the differences between lesbians, gays and bisexuals, and heterosexuals. Pink Therapy proposes a model of gay affirmative therapy, which challenges the prevailing pathologizing models.
Author: Carol Bowman
Publisher: Harper Collins
Release Date: 2009-10-06
Genre: Body, Mind & Spirit
What if you could see a loved one who has died, not in a future spiritual realm, but here and now, in this lifetime? It is possible, says Carol Bowman, author of Children’s Past Lives and a pioneer in reincarnation studies. Based on in-depth research and direct observation of very young children, she shows in this groundbreaking book how common it is for beloved relatives to reincarnate into the same family. Typical families share how their children -- some as young as two and still in diapers -- speak spontaneously of intimate details from the lives of a family member they never knew. These true stories shed new light on age-old questions of family relationships: Do we choose our parents? What relationships survive death? What happens to the soul after a miscarriage or abortion? Bowman offers hope for anyone who has lost a beloved relative and longs to be reunited again.
Author: Carol Grever
Release Date: 2012-10-12
Genre: Family & Relationships
Effective therapeutic self-help techniques for a straight mate’s recovery One of the most traumatic events that can happen in a marriage is discovering your mate is gay. When Your Spouse Comes Out: A Straight Mate’s Recovery Manual is a comprehensive exploration of the trauma that provides practical steps that successful individuals have taken to keep this event from ruining their future. This guide offers solid therapeutic techniques for self-help and presents poignant true stories that illustrate that the damage is not irreparable. The book examines the various reactions to the coming-out event, the personal challenges and obstacles often experienced, and shares lessons learned and some of the secrets of transformation. When this crisis hits home, isolation, depression, anger, grief, and self-recrimination take root. When Your Spouse Comes Out: A Straight Mate’s Recovery Manual presents role models, analysis, practices, and activities promoting long-term emotional recovery for heterosexual men and women whose intimate partners are gay. The text includes integrated exercises helpful for class work and student discussion and case studies of people who recount their stories and explain their recovery. Topics in When Your Spouse Comes Out: A Straight Mate’s Recovery Manual include: different straight spouse responses to the coming out event diverse ways gay mates approach coming out typical stages of coping by straight spouses health risks how to tell the children helping children with the resulting challenges paths toward healing recreating family and more When Your Spouse Comes Out: A Straight Mate’s Recovery Manual offers a self-directed path to recovery which can be used individually or in the context of a support group. This guide is invaluable for straight spouses working alone or in groups, therapists, counselors, group facilitators, librarians, families of gays/lesbians, and their mates.
A new, multidisciplinary look at GLBT parenting Over the past 30 years, research on gay and lesbian parents has produced findings that challenge deeply rooted beliefs in child psychology about the processes through which parents influence the development of their children. Gay and Lesbian Parenting: New Directions builds on this important research with a detailed multidisciplinary examination of established knowledge and emerging information. In addition to evaluating already substantiated findings, this innovative collection marks a turning point in the field by showcasing a new wave of research that examines the dynamics of same-sex parenting and addresses questions about newly emerging concerns such as the consequences of different routes to same-sex parenthood and the effects of social perceptions on gay and lesbian family life. Gay and Lesbian Parenting: New Directions presents an overview of significant developments and suggests future directions for the field. Arranged in four sections, this unique text offers cutting-edge information gathered from both quantitative and qualitative research methods. Section one considers gay and lesbian family formation and the may routes through which lesbians and gay men have become parents. Section two reviews family relationships from parents', and their children's, perspective. The contributions to the third section discuss how gay and lesbian families describe themselves to others. The final section examines the public perceptions held by heterosexuals about lesbian and gay parenting and looks toward possibilities for the future. Chapters in Gay and Lesbian Parenting: New Directions: look at established research and the perspective of gay and lesbian parents and their children on family life explore methodological advances in the research field define the demographics of gay and lesbian parenting and the comparisons of lesbians, gay men, heterosexual women, and heterosexual men without children consider the decisions involved in and the systemic process of donor insemination and surrogacy study gay and lesbian adoptive parents investigate representations of diversity in storybooks for children of gay and lesbian parents situate gay men’s journeys into fatherhood within the sociohistorical context of developments in the United States tell personal stories about the prospect of gay fatherhood present a consideration of the different identities that lesbian and heterosexual mothers construct critically consider the terminology used both within and outside lesbian-parented families to describe a wide variety of co-parenting relationships give an introduction to critical psychology and deconstruct the debate over the importance of paternal influence report findings from a large community survey in Australia on attitudes toward same-sex parenting and beliefs about developmental outcomes and much more! Accessible and detailed, with numerous case studies, bibliographies, tables, and figures, Gay and Lesbian Parenting: New Directions is an ideal resource for students and educators, researchers and professionals working in GLBT and Queer Studies, family therapists, counselors, psychotherapists, social workers, and psychiatrists.
Author: Aaron Devor
Publisher: Indiana University Press
Release Date: 2016-08-29
Genre: Social Science
In this ground-breaking study, Aaron Devor provides a compassionate, intimate, and incisive look at the life experiences of forty-five trans men. Emerging into 21st-century political and social conversations, questions persist. Who are they? How do they come to know themselves as men? What do they do about it? How do their families respond? Who are their lovers? What does it mean for everyone else? To answer these and other questions, Devor spent years compiling in-depth interviews and researching the lives of transsexual and transgender people. Here, he traces the everyday and significant events that coalesce into trans identities, culminating in gender and sex transformations. Using trans men’s own words as illustrations, Devor looks at how childhood, adolescence, and adult experiences with family members, peers, and lovers work to shape and clarify their images of themselves as men. With a new introduction, Devor positions the volume in twenty-first century debates of identity politics and community-building and provides a window into his own self-exploration as a result of his research.
The old model of lesbianism as a pathological affliction has largely given way to a liberal social scientific one which presents it as an alternative lifestyle, a way of loving, a sexual preference, or a source of personal fulfilment. This controversial book argues that the shift from pathological' to gay affirmative' research merely substitutes one depoliticized construction of lesbianism for another. The author contends that the gay affirmative model is fundamentally incompatible with radical feminist theory in which lesbianism is a political statement representing the bonding of women against male supremacy. This volume was awarded a 1989 Distinguished Publication Award by the Association for Women in Psychology.
As mainstream America becomes more aware of the needs and concerns of the nonheterosexual community, gay, lesbian, transgendered, and bisexual teenagers are revealing their sexual identities to their parents at a younger age than ever before. Drawing from over 150 original interviews with teenagers, the author separates fact from fiction in this survey of coming out experiences. Drawing from existing developmental research, the wide range of family reactions and factors that determine how parents come to terms with the disclosure over time is illustrated. The author reveals that the coming out experience is greatly influenced by gender, and chapters highlight common mother-daughter, mother-son, father-daughter, and father-son dynamics. Tips on how parents can be helped to negotiate the coming out process and learn to support their child's emerging sexual identity are suggested at the end of the book. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2004 APA, all rights reserved).
Author: Gianna E. Israel
Publisher: Temple University Press
Release Date: 2001-03
Genre: Health & Fitness
By empowering clients to be well informed medical consumers and by delivering care providers from the straitjacket of inadequate diagnostic standards and stereotypes, this book sets out to transform the nature of transgender care. In an accessible style, Gianna Israel and Donald Tarver discuss the key mental health issues, with much attention to the vexed relationship between professionals and clients. They propose a new professional role, that of the "Gender Specialist." The authors have also provided useful listings of organizations, centers, and World Wide Web sites.Transgender Care has been reviewed by a national committee of professionals and consumers, some of whose members contributed essays in the second part of the book.
Addresses a wide range of gay and lesbian issues for concerned students, including promoting self-esteem and being comfortable with one's gay or lesbian identity, coming out, dealing with harassment and personal safety, and coping with parental concerns.
Author: Justin Spring
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Release Date: 2010-08-17
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
Drawn from the secret, never-before-seen diaries, journals, and sexual records of the novelist, poet, and university professor Samuel M. Steward, Secret Historian is a sensational reconstruction of one of the more extraordinary hidden lives of the twentieth century. An intimate friend of Gertrude Stein, Alice B. Toklas, and Thornton Wilder, Steward maintained a secret sex life from childhood on, and documented these experiences in brilliantly vivid (and often very funny) detail. After leaving the world of academe to become Phil Sparrow, a tattoo artist on Chicago's notorious South State Street, Steward worked closely with Alfred Kinsey on his landmark sex research. During the early 1960s, Steward changed his name and identity once again, this time to write exceptionally literate, upbeat pro-homosexual pornography under the name of Phil Andros. Until today he has been known only as Phil Sparrow—but an extraordinary archive of his papers, lost since his death in 1993, has provided Justin Spring with the material for an exceptionally compassionate and brilliantly illuminating life-and-times biography. More than merely the story of one remarkable man, Secret Historian is a moving portrait of homosexual life long before Stonewall and gay liberation. Secret Historian is a 2010 National Book Award Finalist for Nonfiction.