Wired for Love

Author: Stan Tatkin
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
ISBN: 9781608826407
Release Date: 2012-01-02
Genre: Family & Relationships

"What the heck is my partner thinking?" is a common refrain in romantic relationships, and with good reason. Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and rituals, making it possible to actually neurologically prime the brain for greater love and fewer conflicts. Wired for Love is a complete insider’s guide to understanding your partner’s brain and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust. Synthesizing research findings on how and why love lasts drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this book presents ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. Strengthen your relationship by: • Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” • Using morning and evening rituals to stay connected • Learning to fight so that nobody loses • Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By learning to use simple gestures and words, readers can learn to put out emotional fires and help their partners feel more safe and secure. The no-fault view of conflict in this book encourages readers to move past a "warring brain" mentality and toward a more cooperative "loving brain" understanding of the relationship. This book is essential reading for couples and others interested in understanding the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships. While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you can discover how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences to create a lasting intimate connection.

Wired for Love

Author: Stan Tatkin
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
ISBN: 9781608820597
Release Date: 2012-01-02
Genre: Family & Relationships

"What the heck is my partner thinking?" is a common refrain in romantic relationships, and with good reason. Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and rituals, making it possible to actually neurologically prime the brain for greater love and fewer conflicts. Wired for Love is a complete insider's guide to understanding a partner's brain and promoting love and trust within a romantic relationship. Readers learn ten scientific principles they can use to avoid triggering fear and panic in their partners, manage their partners' emotional reactions when they do become upset, and recognize when the brain's threat response is hindering their ability to act in a loving way. By learning to use simple gestures and words, readers can learn to put out emotional fires and help their partners feel more safe and secure. The no-fault view of conflict in this book encourages readers to move past a ""warring brain"" mentality and toward a more cooperative ""loving brain"" understanding of the relationship. Based in the sound science of neurobiology, attachment theory, and emotion regulation research, this book is essential reading for couples and others interested in understanding the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships.

Wired for Love

Author: Stan Tatkin
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications Incorporated
ISBN: 1608820580
Release Date: 2011
Genre: Family & Relationships

Citing a high percentage of first marriages that end in divorce, a guide based on the author's extensive work as a family therapist incorporates cutting-edge findings in brain science and the nervous system while outlining 10 principles for managing a partner's emotional reactions and resolving conflicts lovingly. (This title was previously listed in Forecast.) Original.

Wired for Dating

Author: Stan Tatkin
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
ISBN: 9781626253056
Release Date: 2016-01-02
Genre: Family & Relationships

In the age of online dating, finding a real connection can seem more daunting than ever! So, why not stack the odds of finding the right person in your favor? This book offers simple, proven-effective principles drawn from neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find the perfect mate. Everybody wants someone to love and spend time with, and searching for your ideal partner is a natural and healthy human tendency. Just about everyone dates at some point in their lives, yet few really understand what they're doing or how to get the best results. In Wired for Dating, psychologist and relationship expert Stan Tatkin—author of Wired for Love—offers powerful tips based in neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find a compatible mate and go on to create a fabulous relationship. Using real-life scenarios, you’ll learn key concepts about how people become attracted to potential partners, move toward or away from commitment, and the important role the brain and nervous system play in this process. Each chapter explores the scientific concepts of attachment theory, arousal regulation, and neuroscience. And with a little practice, you’ll learn to apply these exercises and practical techniques to your dating life. If you’re ready to get serious (or not!) about dating, meet your match, and have more fun, this book will be your guide.

Attached

Author: Amir Levine
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101475161
Release Date: 2010-12-30
Genre: Family & Relationships

Is there a science to love? In this groundbreaking book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S. F. Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Attachment theory forms the basis for many bestselling books on the parent/child relationship, but there has yet to be an accessible guide to what this fascinating science has to tell us about adult romantic relationships-until now. Attachment theory owes its inception to British psychologist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, who in the 1950s examined the tremendous impact that our early relationships with our parents or caregivers has on the people we become. Also central to attachment theory is the discovery that our need to be in a close relationship with one or more individuals is embedded in our genes. In Attached, Levine and Heller trace how these evolutionary influences continue to shape who we are in our relationships today. According to attachment theory, every person behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: *ANXIOUS people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back. *AVOIDANT people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. *SECURE people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mates) follow. It also offers readers a wealth of advice on how to navigate their relationships more wisely given their attachment style and that of their partner. An insightful look at the science behind love, Attached offers readers a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections.

Insecure in Love

Author: Leslie Becker-Phelps
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
ISBN: 9781608828173
Release Date: 2014-06-01
Genre: Family & Relationships

Has your romantic partner called you clingy, insecure, desperate, or jealous? No one wants to admit that they possess these qualities; but if you find yourself constantly on the alert, anxious, or worried when it comes to your significant other, you may suffer from anxious attachment, a fear of abandonment that is often rooted in early childhood experiences. In Insecure in Love, you'll learn how to overcome attachment anxiety using compassionate self-awareness, a technique that can help you recognize your negative thoughts or unhealthy behavior patterns and respond to them in a nurturing way—rather than beating yourself up. You’ll also learn how insecurity can negatively affect healthy dialog between you and your partner (or potential partners) and develop the skills needed to stop you from reverting back to old patterns of neediness and possessiveness. If you suffer from anxious attachment, you probably know that you need to change, and yet you have remained stuck. With compassionate self-awareness, you can successfully explore old anxiety-perpetuating perceptions and habits without being overwhelmed or paralyzed by them. By understanding the psychological factors at the root of your attachment anxiety, you will learn to cultivate secure, healthy relationships to last a lifetime. If you’re ready to stop getting stuck in the same hurtful relationship patterns and finally break the cycle of heartache, this book can show you how to get the love you deserve—and keep it!

Love and War in Intimate Relationships Connection Disconnection and Mutual Regulation in Couple Therapy

Author: Marion Solomon
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company
ISBN: 9780393706727
Release Date: 2011-04-11
Genre: Psychology

Neuroscience and couples therapy come together to help couples break patterns of bad behavior. What happens between partners that makes love turn to war? How can couples therapists help deescalate the battles? Two leading therapists apply the latest neuroscience research on emotional arousal to help couples regulate each other’s emotions, maintain secure attachment, and foster positive, enduring relationships. The neurobiologically-grounded and sensitive approach set forth by Solomon and Tatkin in this book is sure to transform the way clinicians understand and treat couples in therapy.

Attachments

Author: Tim Clinton
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
ISBN: 9781418568696
Release Date: 2009-02-15
Genre: Self-Help

The answer to why people feel and act the way they do lies in the profound effect of a child's bonding process with his or her parents. How successfully we form and maintain relationships throughout life is related to those early issues of "attachment." The author has cited four primary bonding styles that explain why people love, feel, and act the way they do. This book is for anyone who desires closeness, especially in the most intimate relationships: marriage, parenting, close friends, and ultimately with God.

The Smart Couple Quote Book

Author: Jayson Gaddis
Publisher: Tckpublishing.com
ISBN: 1631610325
Release Date: 2017-08
Genre:

Real, Actionable Relationship Advice Without the Fluff Real relationships aren't just filled with romance, great sex, and warm, fuzzy feelings forever. All romantic relationships get stressful and challenging. After the honeymoon phase is over, maintaining a loving relationship can get downright hard, and even painful. How you handle the daily challenges of life (alone and together with your partner) will determine whether your relationship gets better or goes down the shitter. The difference between a struggling couple and a smart couple is the smart couple learns how to handle interpersonal stress and relationship challenges with the right map and tools. Discover the Tools for Building a Loving Relationship That Gets Even Better Year After Year In this relationship book for couples and individuals, you will discover the tools you need to create and maintain an incredible relationship-one that gets stronger over time instead of drifting apart. The lessons and love quotes in this book will help you deepen your relationship instead of running away, blaming, or staying stuck in an unfulfilling partnership. Most marriage books try to sell you a "happily ever after" life while skipping over the pain and struggle that comes in all long-term relationships. While avoiding pain may feel good in the short-term, these bad habits will destroy your relationship in the long run. This book will help you squash those fantasies and remind you a fulfilling marriage is earned, not given. Relationship teacher Jayson Gaddis will challenge you and inspire you to think differently about how you deal with the inevitable relationship problems that arise. Instead of viewing every issue or confrontation as an attack to be afraid of, you will learn to lean into the deepest parts of yourself in order to grow, heal, and reconnect with your partner. From Wound Mates to Soul Mates The smart couple learns to move from wound mates to soul mates that inspire the very best in each other. When you make this move, you become a love warrior, destined for a strong partnership over many years. It's not an easy path, but it's the path you must take if you want to create a fulfilling, lasting relationship. Contrary to popular belief, "just loving each other" is not enough to make a relationship last forever. It takes two people who are willing to grow, learn, and challenge each other to rise together in partnership. A loving relationship is a path that demands you gain more self-awareness and self-responsibility so that you can attend to the amazing fire of your connection. A great relationship is designed to get you to grow up and grow into yourself, and a strong, loving relationship has the power to help you accomplish and achieve more in your life. Strap Yourself in for the Ride of a Lifetime There is nothing quite like having a lover, a best friend, and a co-pilot on this crazy ride called life. When you learn the tools that make relationships work, you will indeed become a couple that side-steps the pointless fights, gets stronger through conflict, and has more connected sex, as you become an unstoppable couple that lights up a room. The love quotes found in this relationship book are a gold mine. Read slowly and digest each sentence. You can ponder each one alone and together. You might have to discuss, disagree, and work through a quote, just like you would a normal difference in your own lives. Doing so will be considered "practice" for your relationship or marriage (you can even share your wins and challenges in our private community of Smart Couples). You reap what you sow each day in your relationship, and my strong wish is for you to take good care of your precious relationship by attending to it daily. May these quotes help guide you into a more realistic and magnificent love that lasts.

The Attachment Effect

Author: Peter Lovenheim
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 9780525504405
Release Date: 2018-06-05
Genre: Psychology

"Every reader will find this book about attachment enlightening." --Dr. Sue Johnson, author of Hold Me Tight "Does a magnificent job of revealing how attachment manifests at the workplace, in friendships, religion, and even politics.” --Amir Levine, M.D., author of Attached A revealing look at attachment theory, uncovering how our early childhood experiences create a blueprint for all our relationships to come Attachment theory is having a moment. It’s the subject of much-shared articles and popular relationship guides. Why is this fifty-year-old theory, widely accepted in psychological circles, suddenly in vogue? Because people are discovering how powerfully it sheds light on who we love--and how. Fascinated by the subject, award-winning journalist and author Peter Lovenheim embarked on a journey to understand it from the inside out. Interviewing researchers, professors, counselors, and other experts, as well as individuals and couples whose attachment stories illuminate and embody the theory's key concepts. The result is this engaging and revealing book, which is part journalism, part memoir, part psychological guide--and a fascinating read for anyone who wants to better understand the needs and dynamics that drive the complex relationships in their lives. Topics include: * What it means to be securely and insecurely attached * How our early childhood experiences create a blueprint for future relationships--and how to use those insights to gain self-awareness and growth * Why anxious and avoidant attachment types tend to attract each other, and how to break the negative cycle * How anyone can work to become "earned secure" regardless of their upbringing and past relationships.

Troubleshooting Relationships on the Autism Spectrum

Author: Ashley Stanford
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
ISBN: 9780857008084
Release Date: 2013-08-28
Genre: Family & Relationships

Don't you wish relationships came with a manual? Ashley Stanford has written a user's guide to relationships that adopts a practical troubleshooting approach to resolving difficulties that will greatly appeal to the logical minds of individuals on the autism spectrum, as well as offering valuable guidance to their partners. Troubleshooting identifies problems and makes them fixable. This book presents a three-step troubleshooting process that can defuse even the trickiest relationship dilemma. Specific problem areas are covered in detail including communication, executive functioning, mindblindness, attachment, intimacy, co-habiting, and raising a family. The book offers straightforward solution-focused strategies and additional help is given in the form of bulleted lists, summaries, scripts, and example scenarios.

Bad Boyfriends

Author: Jeb Kinnison
Publisher:
ISBN: 0991663616
Release Date: 2014-03
Genre: Family & Relationships

This book is a practical guide to using the science of attachment and relationships to find the right life partner. If you were brought up in the Western world, you've been trained on fairy tales of love and relationships that are misleading at best, and at worst have you making mistake after mistake in starting relationships with the wrong kinds of people who will waste your time and keep you from finding a loyal partner. Science has the answer! Or at least a guide to save you the time and effort of discovering for yourself how many wrong types of romantic partners there are. Reading this book will help you recognize the signs of some of the syndromes that prevent people from being good partners. We'll go through those syndromes and point out some of the signs. Those little red flags you sometimes notice when you are getting to know someone? Often they speak loud and clear once you understand the types, and you can decide immediately to run away or approach with caution those who show them. This book outlines the basics (which might be all you need), and points you toward more resources if you want to understand more about your problem partner. If you're wondering if the guy or girl you've been hanging out with might not be quite right, this is the place to match those little red flags you've noticed with known bad types. And by getting out fast, you can avoid emotional damage and wasted time, and get going on finding someone who's really right for you. Study all of the bad types and you'll detect them before even getting involved. Or you could be one of the few people who recognizes their own problems in one of these types. There are study materials and plans of action for you, too. If you've had lots of relationships and they all seem to go wrong, the common factor is you! Your task is to make yourself into a better partner - a goal that even the most evolved of us can always work toward.

The Emotionally Absent Mother

Author: Jasmin Lee Cori
Publisher: The Experiment
ISBN: 9781615193837
Release Date: 2017-04-18
Genre: Family & Relationships

The groundbreaking guide to self-healing and getting the love you missed. Was your mother preoccupied, distant, or even demeaning? Have you struggled with relationships—or with your own self-worth? Often, the grown children of emotionally absent mothers can’t quite put a finger on what’s missing from their lives. The children of abusive mothers, by contrast, may recognize the abuse—but overlook its lasting, harmful effects. Psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori has helped thousands of men and women heal the hidden wounds left by every kind of undermothering. In this second edition of her pioneering book, with compassion for mother and child alike, she explains: Possible reasons your mother was distracted or hurtful—and what she was unable to give The lasting impact of childhood emotional neglect and abuse How to find the child inside you and fill the “mother gap” through reflections and exercises How to secure a happier future for yourself (and perhaps for your children)

Love Sense

Author: Sue Johnson
Publisher: Little, Brown
ISBN: 9780316251082
Release Date: 2013-12-31
Genre: Family & Relationships

The bestselling author of Hold Me Tight presents a revolutionary new understanding of why and how we love, based on cutting-edge research. Every day, we hear of relationships failing and questions of whether humans are meant to be monogamous. LOVE SENSE presents new scientific evidence that tells us that humans are meant to mate for life. Dr. Johnson explains that romantic love is an attachment bond, just like that between mother and child, and shows us how to develop our "love sense"--our ability to develop long-lasting relationships. Love is not the least bit illogical or random, but actually an ordered and wise recipe for survival. LOVE SENSE covers the three stages of a relationship and how to best weather them; the intelligence of emotions and the logic of love; the physical and psychological benefits of secure love; and much more. Based on groundbreaking research, LOVE SENSE will change the way we think about love.

Stories of Therapy Stories of Faith

Author: Lex McMillan
Publisher: Wipf and Stock Publishers
ISBN: 9781498291743
Release Date: 2017-03-28
Genre: Psychology

Stories of Therapy, Stories of Faith is a collection of stories from therapists who have amplified the theology already present in their work. In particular, these authors, a group of counseling practitioners and educators, bring forward a dialogue between their practices and a social Trinitarian theology that emphasizes the relational nature of God and humans. The resulting stories of practice give voice to the ethical hope that counseling practice is participation in the redemptive story of the Gospel. The authors write about their motivations for practice in initiatives as diverse as parenting, trauma work, opposing bullying in schools, reengaging orphaned African children with their heritage, providing hospitality for difference, and counselor education. Stories of Therapy, Stories of Faith will be of interest to counselors and counselor educators, particularly those drawn to developing their ethical and theological commitments within their therapeutic practices.