Author: Marsha Means
Release Date: 2014-04-08
Genre: Family & Relationships
Using a trauma-model approach, Journey to Healing & Joy: A Workbook for Partners of Sexual Addicts, provides a healing pathway women can follow, either individually or in a support group. Beginning with the raw pain partners of sex addicts experience, this well-researched, soul-searching guide sensitively uses a forward-moving process, enabling women to grieve, grow, and heal. With a balance of educational content and penetrating questions, women review what has happened in their relationship and process it as they journal their answers to the workbooks self-reflective questions. They also learn important new skills and gain new strengths that equip them for the challenges they face, whether their relationship heals, or comes to an end. Chapter by chapter, women learn what it takes to share one's life with a man striving to break free from sex addiction. And as they grow and evaluate their options, they gain new insight and clarity, enabling them to choose the next best step for their own lives.
Author: Paula Hall
Release Date: 2015-08-20
Sex and pornography addiction are growing problems that devastate the lives of partners as well as sufferers. Sex Addiction: The Partner's Perspective has been written to help partners and those who care about them to survive the shock of discovering their partner is a sex addict and to help them make decisions about the future of their relationships and their lives. First and foremost, it is a practical book, full of facts, and self help exercises to give partners a much needed sense of stability and control. Like its sister book, Understanding and Treating Sex Addiction, it includes case examples and survey results revealing the reality of life for partners of sex addicts. Sex Addiction: The Partner's Perspective is divided into three parts. Part I explores the myths surrounding sex addiction and provides up to date information about what sex addiction is and what causes it before moving on to explain why the discovery hurts partners so much. Part II is about partners’ needs and includes self-help exercises and strategies to help partners regain stability, rebuild self-esteem and consider their future. The controversial topic of co-dependency is also explored with guidance on how to identify it, avoid it and overcome it. Part III focuses on the couple relationship starting with the difficult decision of whether to stay or leave. Whatever the decision, partners will then find help and support for rebuilding trust and reclaiming their sexuality. This book has been written to help partners not only survive, but to grow stronger and move on with their lives – whether alone, or in their relationship. Readers will find revealing statistics and real life stories shared by partners who kindly took part in the first UK survey of sex addiction partners. This book will this book be a valuable guide for partners, but also for the therapists who seek to support them on their journey of recovery.
When your partner betrays, what are the first steps to picking up the pieces of your shattered heart? Many unsuspecting people wake up every day to discover their loved one, the one person whom they are supposed to trust completely, has been living a life of lies and deceit because they suffer from a disease-sex addiction. This is a disease shrouded in secrecy and shame. This is your go-to-guide for what to do when you discover your partner is a sex addict. Each chapter is based on frequently asked questions by partners such as: Should I Stay or Should I Go? Is This Going to Get Better? How Do I Set Boundaries and Keep Myself Safe? and What Should I Tell the Kids?
"How grateful I am for Francoise, Richard and their hearts to help partners of sex addicts heal from the trauma they experience! I am even more grateful that they have felt the call to share their gifts, insights, and encouragement for partners through this workbook, Spouses of Sex Addicts: Hope for the Journey. As you read through this workbook and start applying the wisdom and helpful exercises to your own experience, I hope you will know, as I do, that this book comes from their hearts, experience, and spiritual strength. The pages of this workbook are filled with appropriate and helpful information and opportunities for you to apply the materials to your experience, which will help you in your journey of healing. May you find in these pages a path for yourself as you join the journey of healing along with so many other wounded spouses. Those of us who are a little further along in the journey hold you in our hearts, thoughts, and prayers. You are not alone. Blessings and hope to you." - Dr. Barbara Steffens PhD, LPCC, BCC, CCSAS. President, Association for Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS), Co-author, Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal
Partners experience dire consequences as a result of being in a relationship with someone suffering from compulsive sexual behavior. Their emotional well-being requires developing new skill sets for self-care and self-protection as they confront the difficult and painful process of discovery, disclosure, and beyond. In other words—they need boundaries. This is the first book specifically for partners affected by addictive behavior that addresses, in detail, how to identify, create, and maintain boundaries as a vital component of self-care and an indispensable tool for healing and growth. Moving Beyond Betrayal guides partners to define the current problem(s); identify needs that aren't being met; find where they have the power to effect change; take action; and evaluate the results to determine if their goal has been accomplished. The author examines all aspects of effective boundary work, including what to do when boundaries are violated. Through working the 5-Step Boundary Solution partners will: Gain clarity Reduce the chaos inherent in relationships impacted by sex addiction Feel more empowered and in control of their lives Discover whether or not their relationship with the addict is salvageable Vicki Tidwell Palmer is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP) in private practice in Houston, Texas. She is the author of the blog for partners Survival Strategies for Partners of Sex Addicts.
Author: David J. Ley
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers
Release Date: 2012-03-08
Genre: Family & Relationships
The media today is filled with powerful men in trouble for their sexual behaviors, and invariably, they are diagnosed as sexual addicts. Since Adam first hid his nakedness from God and pointed the finger at Eve, men have struggled to take responsibility for their sexuality. Over the past three decades, these behaviors have come to reflect not a moral failing, but instead, evidence of an ill-defined disease, that of “sexual addiction.” The concept of sexual addiction is a controversial one because it is based on questionable research and subjective moral judgments. Labeling these behaviors as sex addiction asserts a false, dangerous myth that undermines personal responsibility. Not only does this epidemic of sex addiction excuses mislabel male sexuality as dangerous and unhealthy, but it destroys our ability to hold people accountable for their behaviors. By labeling males as weak and powerless before the onslaught and churning tide of lust, we take away those things that men should live up to: personal responsibility; integrity; self-control; independence; accountability; self-motivation; honor; respect for self and others. In The Myth of Sex Addiction, Ley presents the history and questionable science underlying this alleged disorder, exposing the moral and cultural judgments that are embedded in the concept, as well as the significant economic factors that drive the label of sex addiction in clinical practice and the popular media. Ley outlines how this label represents a social attack on many forms of sexuality—male sexuality in particular—as well as presenting the difficulty this label creates in holding people responsible for their sexual behaviors. Going against current assumptions and trends, Ley debunks the idea that sex addiction is real, or at least that it is as widespread as it appears to be. Instead, he suggests that the high-sex behaviors of some men is something that has been tacitly condoned for countless years and is only now labeled as a disorder as men are being held accountable to the same rules that have been applied to women. He suggests we should expect men to take responsibility for sexual choices, rather than supporting an approach that labels male sexual desire as a "demonic force" that must be resisted, feared, treated, and exorcised.
Infidelity doesn’t have to ruin your life—or your marriageIf you have been devastated by your husband’s sexual betrayal—whether an isolated incident or a long-term pattern of addiction—you need to know you don’t have to live as a victim. If you choose to stay in your marriage, you have options other than punishing, tolerating, or ignoring your spouse; in fact, extraordinary growth awaits a woman willing to deal with the pain of her husband’s struggles with sexual purity. Even if a spouse will not participate in a program for healing, a woman who has been sexually betrayed can change her own life in powerful and permanent ways.This sensitive guide provides practical tools to help you make wise and empowering decisions, emotional tools to develop greater intimacy in your life, and spiritual tools to transform your suffering. Debra Laaser’s personal journey through betrayal, her extensive work with hundreds of hurting women, and her intimate marriage two decades after the disclosure of her husband’s infidelity provide meaningful answers to the questions that arise amid the complex fallout of broken vows.The pain endured from sexual betrayal can break your heart, but it does not need to break your life.
Author: Susan Pease Gadoua
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Release Date: 2008-01-01
Genre: Family & Relationships
Just as there are right and wrong reasons to marry, there are good and bad reasons to divorce. Some couples are quick to split because they are unwilling to devote the necessary effort to fixing their relationships or to understanding their partners, while others miss out on personal fulfillment by staying too long in unhealthy marriages. This insightful and practical guide, written by a therapist with nearly a decade of experience counseling those considering divorce, will help you evaluate your marriage to determine whether you should stay or go. Without bias toward or against the option of divorce, Contemplating Divorce includes helpful tools to guide you to the right decision. Use the tests and relationship evaluations to assess your level of fulfillment in your marriage Learn about the five types of needs happy marriages satisfy Find out how to fix 'problem areas' in your relationship Plan for the future, whether you decide to stay or move on This is a much-needed book. The anxiety in making a life-changing decision is sometimes overwhelming. It is of immense help to have a coach like Susan Pease Gadoua! -John Bradshaw, best-selling author of Homecoming and Creating Love Better than therapy! Pease Gadoua allows the reader who is contemplating any great change to process the pros and cons in the confines of his or her own heart and mind, leaving no chance for those on the fence to skip out on the truth. A must-read for any transition. -Joan Anderson, bestselling author of A Year by the Sea, An Unfinished Marriage, A Walk on the Beach, and The Second Journey Making an appointment to see a divorce lawyer doesn't mean that the person I am advising necessarily needs or wants a divorce. With Pease Gadoua's wise, thorough, and accessible book, Contemplating Divorce, at last there is a resource I can give to confused and unhappy clients who think the marriage may be over but can't decide whether the embers are truly dead or not. -Pauline H. Tesler, author of Collaborative Divorce and Collaborative Law An exceptional and outstanding book for all those considering making the life-altering decision to divorce. Pease Gadoua offers profound personal insight and practical guidance that empowers adults to find clarity, overcome hurdles, and make the best choices for the future of their relationships. I wholeheartedly recommend Contemplating Divorce to men and women alike. -Helene Taylor, Esq., president and founder of TheModernWomansDivorceGuide.com
Author: Claudia Black
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Release Date: 2009-07-30
Renowned lecturer, author, and trainer Claudia Black offers a comprehensive guide to healing and recovery for women whose partners are acting out sexually. Pornography, cybersex, prostitutes, voyeurism, multiple affairs. No matter their "drug" of choice, men who act out sexually leave their partners reeling in fear, rage, incredible shame, and isolation.But there is hope.In Deceived, bestselling author Claudia Black offers women in relationships plagued by sexual betrayal the care and guidance to create a new path of clarity, direction, and confidence. Black uses stories of real women who have been through a wide variety of experiences to help readers develop the understanding and skills to:confront their partnersheighten their personal security by setting nonnegotiable boundariesavoid preoccupation with their partners' problemspractice forgivenesslet go of the uncontrollabletalk to their childrenmake positive changes derived from esteem and integrityDeceived teaches women how to proactively emerge from emotional isolation, shed secrets and shame, and discover their power to incite positive change in their relationships
Author: Paula Hall
Release Date: 2012-11-08
Sex addiction is on the increase - in the media as well as in the therapy room. But while more and more people seek help for their compulsive sexual behaviours, there is still confusion and debate about whether the condition even exists. Understanding and Treating Sex Addiction explains why an increasing number of people are inadvertently finding their lives devastated by their sexual behaviours. It explores the latest scientific understandings and research into why pornography, cyber sex, visiting sex workers, fetishes and multiple affairs can come to control some people's lives to the point that they can't stop. It explains how sex addiction is not a moral issue, as some assume, but a health issue that we as a society need to start taking seriously. Throughout the book are the revealing statistics from the UK's latest survey on sex addiction. Three hundred and fifty people who struggle with this condition have bravely and candidly shared their experience for the benefit of their fellow sufferers and those who choose to help them. This book contains support and advice for both the clinician and for those who suffer from sex addiction. As well as practical guidance and techniques for stopping compulsive behaviours and preventing relapse, there is also a thorough exploration of the deeper underlying causes and how these must be addressed.
Author: Paldrom Collins
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Release Date: 2011-11-18
Like other psychiatric disorders, sexual addiction is a condition that affects peoples' relationships with others as much as it affects their own mental state. Individuals suffering from sexual addiction typically pursue sex through any means possible and often engage in risky forms of sexual activity such as exhibitionism, promiscuous sex with multiple partners, online sex, etc. It's easy to see how a couple's relationship may be challenged by the manifestations and reality of a disorder like this one. A Couple's Guide to Sexual Addiction discusses common relationship issues within the context of sexual addiction and provides the reader with exercises, information, and advice on the following topics: Trust Communication Healthy sexuality & sexual behaviors Family By understanding the reality of sexual addiction and what it means for a relationship, couples will be able to better relate to each other and plan for a successful future.