You re Wearing That

Author: Deborah Tannen
Publisher: Random House Large Print Publishing
ISBN: 9780739326022
Release Date: 2006
Genre: Family & Relationships

A study of the mother-daughter relationship examines every aspect of this complex bond and shows how to improve communication within a family by developing an understanding of the other's point of view.

You re Wearing That

Author: Deborah Tannen
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1588365212
Release Date: 2006-01-24
Genre: Family & Relationships

Deborah Tannen's #1 New York Times bestseller You Just Don’t Understand revolutionized communication between women and men. Now, in her most provocative and engaging book to date, she takes on what is potentially the most fraught and passionate connection of women’s lives: the mother-daughter relationship. It was Tannen who first showed us that men and women speak different languages. Mothers and daughters speak the same language–but still often misunderstand each other, as they struggle to find the right balance between closeness and independence. Both mothers and daughters want to be seen for who they are, but tend to see the other as falling short of who she should be. Each overestimates the other’s power and underestimates her own. Why do daughters complain that their mothers always criticize, while mothers feel hurt that their daughters shut them out? Why do mothers and daughters critique each other on the Big Three–hair, clothes, and weight–while longing for approval and understanding? And why do they scrutinize each other for reflections of themselves? Deborah Tannen answers these and many other questions as she explains why a remark that would be harmless coming from anyone else can cause an explosion when it comes from your mother or your daughter. She examines every aspect of this complex dynamic, from the dark side that can shadow a woman throughout her life, to the new technologies like e-mail and instant messaging that are transforming mother-daughter communication. Most important, she helps mothers and daughters understand each other, the key to improving their relationship. With groundbreaking insights, pitch-perfect dialogues, and deeply moving memories of her own mother, Tannen untangles the knots daughters and mothers can get tied up in. Readers will appreciate Tannen’s humor as they see themselves on every page and come away with real hope for breaking down barriers and opening new lines of communication. Eye-opening and heartfelt, You’re Wearing That? illuminates and enriches one of the most important relationships in our lives. “Tannen analyzes and decodes scores of conversations between moms and daughters. These exchanges are so real they can make you squirm as you relive the last fraught conversation you had with your own mother or daughter. But Tannen doesn't just point out the pitfalls of the mother-daughter relationship, she also provides guidance for changing the conversations (or the way that we feel about the conversations) before they degenerate into what Tannen calls a mutually aggravating spiral, a "self-perpetuating cycle of escalating responses that become provocations." – The San Francisco Chronicle From the Hardcover edition.

You re Wearing That

Author: Deborah Tannen
Publisher: Random House Large Print Publishing
ISBN: 0739326023
Release Date: 2006
Genre: Family & Relationships

A study of the mother-daughter relationship examines every aspect of this complex bond and shows how to improve communication within a family by developing an understanding of the other's point of view.

You Were Always Mom s Favorite

Author: Deborah Tannen
Publisher: Random House Digital, Inc.
ISBN: 9780345496973
Release Date: 2010
Genre: Family & Relationships

Explores the connections among sisters throughout their childhood years into adulthood, including competitiveness, age differences, and lifelong friendships.

I Only Say This Because I Love You

Author: Deborah Tannen
Publisher: Random House Digital, Inc.
ISBN: 9780345407528
Release Date: 2002
Genre: Family & Relationships

A guide to communicating better within families explains how to untie the knots that often hamper important discussions and how to enhance personal relationships among family members by understanding the art of conversation and listening.

You re the Only One I Can Tell

Author: Deborah Tannen
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 9780349010243
Release Date: 2017-05-02
Genre: Family & Relationships

Deborah Tannen's bestselling You Just Don't Understand: Conversations Between Women and Men made us aware of the deep and subtle meanings behind the words we say. She has since explored the way we talk at work, in arguments, to our mothers and our daughters. Now she turns to that most intense, precious and potential minefield: women's friendships. Best friend, old friend, good friend, new friend, neighbour, fellow mother at the school gate, workplace confidante: women's friendships are crucial. A friend can be like a sister, daughter, mother, mentor, therapist or confessor. She can also be the source of pain and betrayal. From casual chatting to intimate confiding, from talking about problems to sharing funny stories, there are patterns of communication and miscommunication that affect friendships. Tannen shows how even the best of friends - with the best intentions - can say the wrong thing, how the ways women friends talk can bring friends closer or pull them apart, but also how words can repair the damage done by words. She explains the power of women friends who show empathy and can just listen; how women use talk to connect - and to subtly compete; how fears of rejection can haunt friendships; how social media is reshaping relationships. Exploring what it means to be friends, helping us hear what we are really saying, understanding how we connect to other people; this illuminating and validating book gets inside the language of one of most women's life essentials - female friendships.

You Just Don t Understand

Author: Deborah Tannen
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 9780062210098
Release Date: 2013-04-23
Genre: Psychology

From the author of New York Times bestseller You're Wearing That? this bestselling classic work draws upon groundbreaking research by an acclaimed sociolinguist to show that women and men live in different worlds, made of different words. Women and men live in different worlds...made of different words. Spending nearly four years on the New York Times bestseller list, including eight months at number one, You Just Don't Understand is a true cultural and intellectual phenomenon. This is the book that brought gender differences in ways of speaking to the forefront of public awareness. With a rare combination of scientific insight and delightful, humorous writing, Tannen shows why women and men can walk away from the same conversation with completely different impressions of what was said. Studded with lively and entertaining examples of real conversations, this book gives you the tools to understand what went wrong -- and to find a common language in which to strengthen relationships at work and at home. A classic in the field of interpersonal relations, this book will change forever the way you approach conversations.

I m Not Mad I Just Hate You

Author: Roni Cohen-Sandler
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 9781101076989
Release Date: 2000-03-01
Genre: Family & Relationships

For mothers who are reeling from the rockiness of an ever-changing adolescent, or struggling with a relationship that's deteriorating by the day, here is encouragement, reassurance, and great advice. "I'm Not Mad, I Just Hate You!" discusses the social, emotional, cultural, and psychological issues that can lead to mother-daughter conflicts. It offers illuminating and very recognizable case studies, and demonstrates how mother-daughter friction during adolescence can actually empower girls by teaching them invaluable skills. By providing mothers with much-needed encouragement and practical strategies to help their daughters grow into emotionally healthy and capable adults, "I'm Not Mad, I Just Hate You!" can transform the tempestuous teenage years into years of positive, enriching growth.

You Don t Really Know Me Why Mothers and Daughters Fight and How Both Can Win

Author: Terri Apter
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company
ISBN: 9780393285741
Release Date: 2005-08-17
Genre: Family & Relationships

Understand what your teenage daughter really means—and learn to use your arguments to strengthen your bond with her. Mothers and teenage daughters argue more than any other child-parent pair—on average every two-and-a-half days. These quarrels, Terri Apter shows, are attempts to negotiate changes in a relationship that is valued by both mothers and daughters. A daughter often feels her mother doesn't know or understand her, and by fighting hopes to force her mother into a new awareness of who she really is, how she has changed, and what she is now capable of doing and understanding. But mothers often misinterpret their daughter's outbursts as signs of rejection, and they may pull back feeling hurt and confused. Through case studies and conversations between mothers and daughters, Apter shows mothers how to interpret the meanings behind a daughter's angry words and how to emerge from arguments with a new closeness.

How To Manage Your Mother

Author: Alyce-Faye Cleese
Publisher: Skyscraper Publications
ISBN: 9781911072140
Release Date: 2016-12-21
Genre: Psychology

This book explores how different people have dealt with the issues related to getting on with their mothers. Psychotherapist Alyce-Faye Cleese interviewed a wide range of people to get an in-depth understanding of the different questions that arise in our relationships with our mother. From a New York taxi driver to her former husband John Cleese, and a computer consultant to General Colin Powell, the interviews show a remarkable similarity between the problems different people have with their mothers both alive and dead, and Alyce-Faye Cleese suggests a range of ways of dealing with problems that many of us share in one way or another.

Talking from 9 to 5

Author: Deborah Tannen
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 9780380717835
Release Date: 1995-09-01
Genre: Social Science

Your project went off without a hitch--but somebody else got the credit...You averted a crisis brilliantly--but no one noticed...You came to the meeting with a sensational idea--but it was ignored until someone else said the same thing... HOW CAN YOU GET CREDIT & GET AHEAD? In her extraordinary international bestseller, You Just Don't Understand, Deborah Tannen transformed forever the way we look at intimate relationships between women and men. Now she turns her keen ear and observant eye toward the workplace--where the ways in which men and women communicate can determine who gets heard, who gets ahead, and what gets done. An instant classic, Talking From 9 to 5 brilliantly explains women's and men's conversational rituals--and the language barriers we unintentionally erect in the business world. It is a unique and invaluable guide to recognizing the verbal power games and miscommunications that cause good work to be underappreciated or go unnoticed--an essential tool for promoting more positive and productive professional relationships among men and women.

My Mother My Self

Author: Nancy Friday
Publisher: Delta
ISBN: 9780307763730
Release Date: 2010-09-01
Genre: Self-Help

When Nancy Friday began her research for My Mother/My Self in the early 1970’s no work existed that explored the unique interaction between mother and daughter. Today psychotherapists throughout the world acknowledge that if women are to be able to love without possessing, to find work that fulfills them, and to discover their full sexuality, they must first acknowledge their identity as separate from their mother’s. Nancy Friday’s book played a major role in that acceptance. The greatest gift a good mother can give remains unquestioning love planted deep in the first year of life, so deep and anassailable that the tiny child grown to womanhood is never held back by the fear of losing that love, no matter what her own choice in love, sexuality, or work may be. Through candid self-disclosure and hundreds of interviews, Friday investigates a generational legacy and reveals the conflicting feelings of anger, hate, and love the daughter’s hold for their mothers–and why they so often “become” that mother themselves. From the Trade Paperback edition.

Mothering and Daughtering

Author: Eliza Reynolds
Publisher: Sounds True
ISBN: 9781604079463
Release Date: 2013-04-01
Genre: Family & Relationships

Mothers and daughters share, and want, a bond for life—one that can remain positive and grow stronger with each passing year. Sil and Eliza Reynolds have designed a set of tools to assist you in nurturing that bond. If you're locked in a clash of wills or fear the prospect of getting into one, with Mothering and Daughtering you can learn how to build the foundation for a deep and lasting relationship that is a source of support, joy, and love throughout your lives. Offering you two breakthrough guides in one, Mothering and Daughtering was created to help you find and protect the unique treasure that is your relationship. For moms, Sil addresses the central task of stopping the cycle of separation and anxiety that plagues so many, drawing on her clinical expertise to nurture the skills of listening, boundary setting, mirroring, containing, and more. Turn the book over, and Eliza shares empowering advice to teens looking to keep it real with Mom while also finding strength in their own intuition, friendships, and dreams. Packed with practical exercises, activities, and lifesaving insights gleaned from Sil and Eliza's workshops, Mothering and Daughtering explores these essential topics and more: Your best friend known as your intuition Navigating the treacherous territories of comparison, performance, and perfectionism Dispelling the rejection myth Sex, positive discipline, and how to prevent a technological take-over Winning the body love battle Healing your emotional legacy Humor, truth, trust, and love—instead of trying to be perfect Repairing ruptures and getting to the bottom of misunderstandings Locating your fundamental bond that always connects you beneath your daily squabbles “No one, nowhere, connects just like you,” write Sil and Eliza. Whether you are already thriving in your relationship or merely surviving, Mothering and Daughtering is an indispensable resource to honor and strengthen that one-of-a-kind connection through the years ahead.

Side by Side

Author: Charles Sophy
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061986275
Release Date: 2010-02-02
Genre: Family & Relationships

“Readers [of Side by Side] will come away with a rich perspective and a renewed ability to connect head and heart so that every mother/daughter will have a richer, more satisfying relationship.” —Dr. Drew Pinsky, host of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew Renowned family and child psychiatrist Dr. Charles Sophy’s Side by Side offers a proven strategy to restore loving and effective communication between mothers and daughters. Dr. Sophy, Medical Director for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services and regular guest on the Today Show and Larry King Live, has found that the most promising—and problematic—family dynamic is the one between mother and daughter. Dr. Sophy developed the program presented in Side by Side in response to this realization. In the vein of Deborah Tannen’s You’re Wearing That? and Christiane Northrup’s Mother Daughter Wisdom, Side by Side offers valuable advice for mothers and daughters everywhere.

Family Talk

Author: Deborah Tannen
Publisher: Oxford University Press
ISBN: 9780195313888
Release Date: 2007-04-12
Genre: FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS

'Family Talk' presents a close examination of talk and its role in the day-to-day life of the American family. The text analyses an extensive body of data to identify ways in which family members create and enact their identities within the family.