Brits and Americans dress the same, eat at the same chain restaurants and pass music back and forth across the Atlantic. But the second we Brits open our mouths, all bets are off. The aim of these unscholarly pages is to guide you through the jungle of British slang, uncovering the etymology but also illuminating the correct usage. And if it doesn't accomplish that, at least you'll be aware that when a British citizen describes you as a "wally," a "herbert," a "spanner," or a "bampot," he's not showering you with compliments. Knickers in a Twist is as indispensable as a London city guide, as spot-on funny as an episode of The Office, and as edifying as Eats, Shoots & Leaves. Screenwriter Jonathan Bernstein's collection of Cockney rhyming slang, insults culled from British television shows of yore, and regional and "high British" favourites provides hours of educational, enlightening, even lifesaving hilarity. PIG'S EAR Incompetent execution of a relatively simple task; also a delicious repast. BETTER THAN A POKE IN THE EYE WITH A SHARP STICK Another way of reminding an ungrateful recipient that the paltry amount he is receiving for, say, compiling a list of British slang is better than nothing at all. SICK AS A PARROT Horribly disappointed; most frequently employed by heartbroken UK football fans after their hopes of international glory are once again dashed. FANCY THE PANTS OFF To sexually desire someone so intensely that their clothes spontaneously disappear. Only the first four words of the previous sentence are technically accurate.
In Mike Stenson’s Knickers with a Twist, life’s everyday occurrences, observations and imaginings are detailed in rhyming verse, all with a dash of humour, and often with a hint of self-recognition! The interesting ‘twist’ in this new collection comes with the individual preambles to each and every poem, hinting at the source of their inspiration. Some poems are inspired by a single but true occurrence observed by the author, others by snippets of overheard conversations, or just pure imagination; all have been blended with humour to spark that personal inner thought that ignites our imagination. This collection of humorous, and often exaggerated, observations of everyday life will appeal to readers aging (as the poet puts it!) from teens to termination.
Author: Paul Cookson
Publisher: Macmillan Children's Books
Release Date: 2002
Genre: Children's poetry, English
A superb collection of very clever, very funny poems based on idioms, figures of speech and generally playing with words for example - Giving a Dog a Bad Name, Raining Cats and Dogs, Losing Your Marbles, Keep Your Eyes Peeled and many many more. Paws For Thought; My dog was staring at his feet; Was it something he had caught? Why no My dog was thinking. He was having paws for thought. Roger Stevens
Author: School Rules Book Co
Release Date: 2019-08-20
Funny quote accent English sarcastic humour - Blank lined Notebook journal for a teacher or student to express their thoughts and plans. This notebook is designed to be easily carried around, placed on the desk or in the bag for use at school or at home. A unique fun book cover to make you or its gift recipient smile whenever they write in it. It can be a running record of the school year if dated daily and become an unusual keepsake of the school year. The 120 page 6x9 inches blank lined notebook would be a perfect gift for a student or teacher in middle, high school or elementary school. Each page has a space for a date or heading to keep track of homework, class lists, notes about behavior, keep track of equipment or resources needed for lessons. Research notes and observational documentation for parent meetings could also be jotted down in this handy smallish book. The cover is unique so it won't get lost in all of the other paraphernalia, books and documents on the teacher's desk or student's bookbag!
Author: Bill Brown
Publisher: Hachette UK
Release Date: 2011-02-10
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
A riveting and hugely entertaining memoir of post-war London told through the eyes of a hilariously opportunistic little boy. By the time he was ten years old, Billy Brown was running a successful little business on the black market: whatever you needed, from bricks and firewood to dress material or machetes, Billy Brown could get it - or knew a man who could. And, for the right price, he would deliver it direct to your door in an old carriage pram. With energy and insight, Billy Brown paints a vivid and lively picture of Britain emerging from the ruins of the war, the hunger for opportunity, the growing pace of modernisation and the pride and optimism that held communities together. Londoners were intent on getting themselves back on their feet, and it provided the perfect opportunity for a boy with ambition and a lively imagination. Born in Brixton, south London, in 1942, Billy Brown was a lovable scamp with a nose for mischief. Left to his own devices while both his parents went out to work, if there was trouble to be had Billy would be in the thick of it. Ignoring the shaking of fists from his neighbours, his mother's scoldings and the regular thwack of the cane on his bottom at school, Billy wheeled and dealed, charmed Woolies' Girls, planned coronation celebrations, ran circles around circus performers and persuaded villains to work on his terms.
Author: Harry Turtledove
Publisher: Del Rey
Release Date: 2011-07-19
In 1941 Winston Churchill was Hitler’s worst enemy. Then a Nazi secret agent changed everything. What if Neville Chamberlain, instead of appeasing Hitler, had stood up to him in 1938? Enraged, Hitler reacts by lashing out at the West, promising his soldiers that they will reach Paris by the new year. Instead, three years pass, and with his genocidal apparatus not fully in place, Hitler barely survives a coup, while Jews cling to survival, and England and France wonder whether the war is still worthwhile. The stage is set for World War II to unfold far differently from the history we know—courtesy of Harry Turtledove, wizard of “what if?,” in the continuation of his thrilling series: The War That Came Early. Through the eyes of characters ranging from a brawling American serving with the Abraham Lincoln Brigade in Spain to a woman who has seen Hitler’s evil face-to-face, The Big Switch rolls relentlessly forward into 1941. As the Germans and their Polish allies slam into the gut of the Soviet Union in the west, Japan pummels away in the east. Meanwhile, in the trenches of France, French and Czech forces are outmanned but not outfought by their Nazi enemy. Then the stalemate is shattered. In England Winston Churchill dies suddenly, leaving the gray men wondering who their real enemy is. And as the USSR makes peace with Japan, the empire of the Rising Sun looks westward—its war with America about to begin. BONUS: This edition contains an excerpt from Harry Turtledove's The War That Came Early: Coup d'Etat.
Author: Paul Kelly
Publisher: Andrews UK Limited
Release Date: 2011-12-13
This is Tillie Faulkner’s story. The story of her life as she saw it through her own eyes and of NATHAN STEIN’S story as he saw Tillie because he was madly in love with her. It is also the story of RAMAZAN SONMEZ who lusted after Tillie but was incapable of loving ... and concludes with the story of Mother Turkey, who hated everyone and who was the mother of Ramazan and Erdogan. Erdogan was unable to tell his story ... Erdogan couldn’t speak, but nothing I have written here could have been possible without him Tillie Faulkner was a very resolute, self-willed, determined young woman who knew exactly what she wanted out of life ... or so she thought, until Erdogan Sonmez came into it and life was never to the same for her after that. Tillie had been the victim of an incestuous relationship when she was a small child and although ‘love’ was not a word in her dictionary, she was soon to find out that love was indeed becoming a fact in her life that she could not deny. She fought against it as a folly for as long as she could and refused to marry Nathan Stein, a fellow university student who was deeply in love with her.
It’s the essential guide to dressing to undress, from the basics of bras, panties, slips, and shapewear to the sexy extremes of corsets, sheer chemises, balconets, and bustiers—perfect for the tens of millions of fans of Fifty Shades of Grey who are now wondering what to wear. Written by lingerie expert Rebecca Apsan (“the best bra-fitter in the country”—New York magazine), Lessons in Lingerie covers it all: The revelation of a properly fitted bra. How to cultivate your inner coquette. How to look ten pounds thinner. What works under a clingy dress or a sheer white blouse. The basics of shopping, cleaning, organizing. And Ms. Apsan’s manifesto for change: Stop wearing underwear!
Consultant Jonah Washington is nurse manager Nell Sutherland's rock—her best friend. Let down by another man, Nell begins to realize how wonderful Jonah really is. Nell is shocked by her changed reaction. Why had she never realized how irresistible the gorgeous consultant was? Their work in the neonatal-intensive-care unit of Belfield Hospital has brought Jonah and Nell closer than ever before, bound by their commitment to save the lives of their tiny patients. Meanwhile, Nell is fighting her attraction to Jonah, not realizing that he has desired her and been utterly in love with her forever!
Author: Stephen C. Sieberson
Publisher: U of Nebraska Press
Release Date: 2014-10-01
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
The Naked Mountaineer recounts a series of solo journeys to some of the world’s most exotic peaks in places such as Switzerland, Japan, and Borneo. However, it is far from the typical heroic mountain-expedition book. Although Steve Sieberson did reach many summits, in most cases his travels were more memorable for what he encountered along the way than for the actual climbing. His real adventures involved peculiar people, strange foods, and tropical diseases, rather than pitons, ice axes, and carabiners. On the Matterhorn he met an English alpinist who reveled in naked selfies, he stumbled into a cockfight in a Balinese village, and on a volcano in Italy he was mistaken for a famous singer by an insistent fan. The Naked Mountaineer offers mountain-themed travel stories with a wide-eyed view of the world, while presenting irreverent commentary on climbers and their peculiar sport. These are rollicking tales, filled with the unexpected.
The Search Is On! Life has never been easy for Tim. Abandoned and left to fend for himself, he's finally found a home with Dean Luchetti. And yet…something's missing. Now that he has a dad, Tim's convinced that what he needs is a mom. Which means he has to find Dean a wife. But no matter who he puts in front of his father, Dean seems to only have eyes for Tim's principal, Stella O'Connell. When Stella returns to her hometown to take the principal job, she dreads running into Dean. Their teenage love had ended badly—what if he still holds a grudge? Or worse, what if he still has feelings for her? Stella is in town only temporarily to get her life back on track. The last thing she wants is a complicated relationship. And yet the more time she spends with Dean and Tim, the more she doesn't want to leave them. Could she have found the place she belongs right where she started?
Book one of London Undead Few people walk the streets of London since the zombie outbreak, but that's not an issue for Seth. As a werewolf, he can handle himself and save humans reckless enough to take a nighttime stroll. While on patrol he comes across a group of people under attack. The one woman brave enough to take a stand against the zombies catches his eye—and not just because of her way with a gun. Learning the beautiful woman is homeless and fends for herself only intensifies his urge to protect and care for her. Maisie can't help but admit that she's attracted to her werewolf rescuer. She's drawn to Seth's strength and ferocity, and finds herself opening up to him in ways she never imagined, even though she's determined to not rely on Seth or anyone else. She doesn't want another person to get hurt—or die—for her sake. She has enough scars, physical and emotional, from the last time… But when Seth realizes something is drawing the zombies to Maisie, there may be nothing he can do to save her… 31,000 words